Why She Walked Away
by LehcarAllyson
Summary: Gibbs is angry after Ziva walked away from NCIS, and an angel appears to show him why she left. Gibbs is taken through the course of her life and witnesses her childhood and early years as a Mossad Agent, up to her arrival to NCIS. He even sees moments of her life from after she becomes a part of the NCIS team. Gibbs and Ziva father/daughter. Before Tony finds her in Israel.
1. Chapter 1

So, I am going to begin a chapter story. Not sure what everyone will think of this, but here it is. Premise is that Gibbs is bitter towards Ziva for leaving and an angel shows him her past so he understands why she left NCIS. This is while tony is looking for her, so before 11x02 and before the phone call between Ziva and Gibbs.

AN: Ziva was born in 1982, Tali in 1984, and Ari in 1969 (as stated on NCIS wiki for Ari and Ziva. I made up Tali's birthdate)

I will try to make my events as canon as possible but I can't claim to know everything about the show, so some facts will be made up.

And I don't own the characters

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had experienced a lot in his years as a Marine and as a NCIS agent. He had met a lot of good people, and lost a lot of good people too. In more recent years, he had had his major response team that had become more like family than anything else he had had since Shannon and Kelly died. Tony DiNozzo, his senior field agent and closest informant, and his protégé. Timothy McGee, completely different from both himself and Tony, but still someone that Gibbs cared deeply about. He respected McGee's brilliant mind. He had lost Kate Todd after only a short time, but had felt her loss like he had felt Jenny's, like he had felt the loss of countless others. Abby of course was special to him even if she wasn't on his team, and Ducky was a longtime friend. Even Leon Vance had a place to Gibbs. Like all of his team members and fellow agents, Ziva David was special to him.

Unlike his other friends, Ziva had left by choice. She hadn't been gunned down like Kate and Jenny and Jackie Vance. She hadn't taken a leadership role like Tony had been offered and turned down. She had left, turned in her badge with the rest of them and never picked it back up again. She hadn't told Tony or Abby or him where she was going or what she intended and just left. After eight years of stakeouts and missions and dinners and trials and tribulations and after they RESCUED her from the Somalian desert, she had left. Tony was looking for her now, but he wasn't going to find her. She had been trained to disappear and if she did allow DiNozzo to find her she wasn't going to go back with him. She wasn't coming back this time.

It wasn't easy for him to be feeling these things. He loved her, and always would, and would go to the ends of the earth over and over for her, just like he would for Tony or Tim. He respected her for her abilities that he truly believed outshined his own in the field. However, he was angry. Angry that he would have to find another agent to replace her, that he would have to find another agent to train and love and protect, angry that Tony and Tim would have to go through that again. It wasn't right. Had the years meant nothing to her?

The more he thought, the more he sanded the boat. What was her excuse? Did her father's death make her have to run back to Mossad? Did her resigning from NCIS make her feel like she had lost her only family left? The strange thing was that he didn't think she was going back to Mossad. She seemed to be in the wind from any intelligence agency. Being an officer, an agent was in her blood. How could she give that up?

"Jethro."

He whirled around at the unfamiliar voice. The woman was beautiful, mysterious, and not quite human looking. In fact, light he couldn't explain had illuminated his basement, mostly around the woman. "Who are you?"

"My name is Mercy."

"What do you want?"

"I'm here to talk to you Jethro. About Ziva David."

"What do you know about her? Who are you?"

"I'm called a lot of things. To you, I am a guide. I have been sent to guide you through Ziva's life and show you the reason she walked away. That is what has been bothering you isn't it?"

Gibbs slowly nodded, still confused and a little in shock. "Like an angel."

"That's a technical name, yes. I'm sure you have some idea of why Ziva left you don't you?"

Gibbs really did try and think of a good reason, but nothing new surfaced. "My only guess is that it has something to do with the death of Eli David." He replied, knowing that it wasn't the right answer.

"I guess that's a small part of it. But there is so much more. And soon Anthony is going to find her and he is going to understand why she is leaving, even if it will destroy him. You, however, do not yet understand. You love her, in a different way than Anthony does, but you love her regardless and she and you both deserve an explanation. Are you prepared to get one?"

"I'm waiting."

"Well, I can't just tell you. We're going to take a little trip of sorts. I'll be there for part of the ride and some will be on your own. Don't worry. You'll get back in plenty of time to finish the boat."

Her voice was warm and Gibbs felt that he trusted her. So he nodded, and waited for whatever was going to happen next.

There was a bright flash of light and Gibbs was no longer in his basement. Instead, he was in a house that he didn't recognize. Mercy was standing next to him. In another room, angry voices could be heard, although the words themselves were hard to hear. Mercy smiled at him. "This is where we start."

"Where are we?"

"Tel Aviv, 1985. You can go in. They won't see or hear you." She faded away and Gibbs was left alone. Disbelieving, he wondered around the kitchen. He could look out the window and see the desert, and he could see the date on the newspaper lying on the table. Still unsure of going into the other room, he picked up the paper and glanced through the front page. He was halfway through an article when he realized that he was reading Hebrew and understanding it. This dream was getting weirder and weirder.

With the knowledge of Hebrew present in his mind, he wondered across the house. Eli David was there, younger and healthier, but still looking like Eli. He was fighting with a beautiful brunette woman, who bore a strong resemblance to Ziva. Of course she resembled her. It was her mother.

"I will not have him in this house!"

"He is my son! My son, and he deserves to know his family!"

"We are not his family! I have no connection to him, and I don't want Ziva and Tali around him!"

They were arguing about Ari. Gibbs left the room and passed several others down the hall. In one was a baby sleeping in a crib. This was Tali, Ziva's sister. In the room next door, he found them.

A teenage boy, probably about 16. Ari, the rogue Mossad officer who had killed his agent and terrorized his team, looking anything but that man as he sat, his arms wrapped around a crying girl. Gibbs knelt down and looked three year old Ziva in the eyes. She was adorable, her hair as curly and wild as it was when she was an adult, and his heart tugged as it did every time he saw a little girl.

"Why are they yelling at each other?"

She was speaking Hebrew of course, and Gibbs wondered if this was the only language she knew at this tender age. Ari pulled her tighter. "It's about me, Z, not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Why is mommy mad at you?"

"She's just having a bad day Z. Don't worry about it. We all love you, and we are all your family. You don't have to worry about me."

"I love you Ari."

Gibbs tried not to see the tears glistening in Ari's eyes as he moved Ziva onto his lap. He didn't like to feel compassion for his enemies. "I love you too Z." Ari choked out, resting his head in her hair. "I always will."

There was another bright flash and he was in a ballet studio. He easily picked Ziva out of the line of girls, her hair partially contained in her bun. He would have guessed her age to be around six, and this was confirmed when he saw a calendar listing the year as 1988. He watched the routine, entertained, and smiled at the look of concentration on Ziva's face. Suddenly, the door burst open behind him, and two men in expensive suits walked in. Some of the girls started to cry on command, but Ziva stared at them, unfazed. She seemed to know them.

"We need Ziva David."

The teacher nodded, and Ziva was pushed out of the studio. As soon as they got outside she was pushed into a van and whisked away. For a moment Gibbs thought they were kidnapping her, as he jumped into the van after them, but one turned to her.

"We are friends of your father's. He has big news for you."

No other words were offered and Ziva did not ask questions. Instead, she put her hands in her lap and waited for them to arrive at a familiar compound. Mossad.

"Ziva!" Rivka David grabbed her as soon as the van pulled into the building, a huge smile on her face. Next to her stood Tali, looking much like Ziva, only with lighter, straighter hair. "Where's dad?"

"He was promoted to director of Mossad. This is huge Ziva. This is going to change everything."

"Then why are you happy?"

"He will no longer have to travel so much, and he will not be in so much danger, Ziva. He will be able to come home, home to us."

"I wasn't done with ballet."

"We needed to get you safe. You father will have enemies now, and we have to be more careful." At her words, Eli David swept in to the room. "Ziva, you are here."

Unlike the others, he was talking in what Gibbs's brain now processed and understood to be Arabic."

"Hi Daddy!"

"Ziva, remember, you must not use Hebrew with me anymore. You can use Arabic, Farsi, or Spanish."

"But they're harder." Even in the midst of complaining she had listened and switched to Spanish. Eli smiled. "You have to know more than Hebrew if you want to be a Mossad agent."

"Eli…" Rivka David shot him a warning glance and he ignored it. "You want to be a Mossad agent don't you?"

"Yes, I do!"

"Mossad agents do not have the luxury of speaking Hebrew. That is your first lesson."

That's all for Chapter 1! Don't worry, more will come, and soon, if I get a response. Next up is some early training for Ziva and some more Ari. Leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

Alright, so chapter two! Just a warning, I'll probably write the whole story right now and just post ever so often. I'll add author notes at the beginning of each chapter if I have something more to say… Right now, thank you for your reviews and you favorites/follows. Hope you like the second chapter!

Previously….Gibbs witnessed the moment that Eli David became director of Mossad

The first lesson he taught her about Mossad was that Hebrew was a luxury they couldn't afford to have? He wouldn't have picked it, but now it made sense. All the times Ziva had talked to her father or other agents of Mossad around him, she had spoken in English. He had always thought that she was doing that so the people around would understand, but maybe they simply didn't use their native language with each other.

"Why don't Mossad officers use Hebrew?"

Ziva asked her father the question burning on Gibbs's mind for him. Eli smiled at her, obviously pleased by her interest. "If we are on a mission, Hebrew will tip off enemies that we are Mossad agents. No other country in the world uses Hebrew. By using Arabic or English, we blend in more."

"Why can't I learn English?"

"You'll start that in school next year. You'll speak as well as any American soon. Now go, take your sister and go with the agents, I need to talk to your mother." Gibbs watched Ziva grab Tali's hand and drag her away. He expected another flash of light, and he considered following the little girls, but something made him decide to stay and listen to her parents instead.

"Stop telling her to become a Mossad agent. I will not have it, Eli. My daughters are going to be ballerinas or scientists or teachers or mothers. They are not going to become part of your world." Rivka David was on the verge of exploding at her husband.

"They already are Rivka! It is safer for them to learn how to defend themselves than to wait helplessly for one of my enemies to come for them!"

"They will be safer if they do not go on missions in foreign countries! They will be safer if they do not join the Mossad."

"How will it look if my daughters do not become officers? I will be laughed at across the nation. Ziva and Tali will make great officers Rivka, the best we ever had."

"I cannot stand to look at you."

The light flashed now, and Gibbs was whisked away, the conversations whirling in his head. He knew that Rivka David died when Ziva was 12-she had mentioned that. Did the woman ever give in to Eli or were her wishes ignored as soon as she was cold and in the ground? The disgust he was feeling for Eli grew as the next scene came into view. It was the closest thing to a garden in Israel, a backyard to a different house than he had seen at the beginning of Ziva's life. Eli David was there, looking no different than he had in the previous scene, and Ziva, looking slightly older.

"She's seven now."

He jumped at the sound of Mercy's voice. "Nice to have you back."

"What do you think so far?"

He shrugged, not really giving her an answer. Mercy shook her head. It gets worse." As she finished talking, Eli handed Ziva a gun as big as she was and Gibbs moved in to listen on the conversation. It was taking place in French.

"We have some time before your mother gets back."

"Am I going to be a good shooter?"

"The very best."

"Isn't Ari the best?"

"Ari is very good, but you'll going to be better." As Eli walked her through the steps to loading and shooting the gun, Gibbs tried not to think about how ironic it was that Eli taught both his kids how to shoot only to have one shoot the other dead.

The sound of a gunshot shook him from his thoughts. Ziva had hit the outer rim of the painted target and was currently shaking her arm from the force of the gun. "That hurt."

"You flinched and threw your shot off. You will get used to the kick. Try again."

Ziva shot three more times, each time getting closer and closer to the center. Eli stepped in again. "You are aiming too big. When you shoot a man you aim for the button of his coat, or the charm on a woman's necklace. You will never miss."

"He's talking to her about shooting people when she's seven?" Mercy didn't answer and Gibbs realized the angel was no longer there. When Kelly was seven she had been into cabbage patch and Barbie's, and getting into Shannon's makeup. He would have probably taught her how to shoot when she was a teenager, but he would have never allowed her to become an agent.

He had missed Ziva's next four shots, all of which hit dead center. Eli's face cracked into a smile. "You did it Ziva! You did it!"

"Did Ari hit the center on his first try?"

"No, I didn't." Gibbs looked as surprised as Eli and Ziva as Ari strolled into the yard. He was 20 now, and looked a little more like Gibbs remembered him. "I was 10 before I could hit the targets at all." Ari was speaking in Hebrew.

"I'm going to be a better sniper than you are! And you have to speak French, that's the rule. I like French, it's easy." Gibbs smiled, knowing that Ziva still believed that as an adult. He had heard her comment to Tony that her French was better than her English.

"Ziva, do you know what a sniper does?" Ari's voice was serious now, as Eli gave him a look that could kill. He was still talking in Hebrew.

"Ari don't…"

"ELI, I am talking to my sister." The hostility in his tone made Eli and Ziva step back, and Ari knelt in front of his sister. "Snipers kill people Z. You don't want to do that."

"Ziva why don't you show Ari what you learned how to do?"

Ziva smiled again and pulled away from her brother. "I can climb the tree!"

The tree was the only one like it in the yard, a pretty nice size with only a few branches. "Why don't you show me?"

Ziva happily scampered up the tree, as Eli looked on proudly. Gibbs was impressed with how well her little arms grabbed on and how easily she pulled herself from branch to branch. Even Ari smiled at competent she was, until she got to the top.

"I'm not very good at getting down. Daddy caught me last time, I just jumped out."

"You can jump again, Ziva. I will catch you." Eli sounded more like a father than he ever had before, and Gibbs suspected a second agenda.

"Promise?"

` "I promise."

It happened so fast. Ari was on the wrong side of the yard. One moment Ziva was grinning and letting go of the tree, falling towards her father's outstretched arms. The next moment, Eli stepped away, and the child crashed into the ground, feet first, toppling over. Ari was running to her, and Gibbs was too, as if he could stop what had happened over two decades earlier to her. Ari turned to his father and cursed in Hebrew, as he cradled the crying Ziva.

Eli didn't seem bothered. He leaned in, kneeling so he was eye level with her. "Get up."

"Eli, her ankle is broken at least…"

"I am talking to Ziva. Get up."

Ziva pushed Ari's arms away and stood, keeping her right leg lifted off the ground. "Both legs." She put down the broken ankle as more tears slipped out of her eyes.

"Stop crying."

She didn't listen, and Eli slapped her hard, across the face. "Stop."

She did this time, and he nodded. Good. Mossad agents do not cry over broken bones. If they are hurt they finish the task, do you understand?"

Ziva nodded. "Good. You cannot trust anyone Ziva. If you blindly trust someone like you just trusted me you will come out a lot worse than a broken ankle. You will trust no one but yourself. You must sacrifice relationships with all people to be a good Mossad agent."

"Ken Abba."

"French please."

"Oui papa."

"Good. Five more shots."

"Eli, she needs to go…"

"Ari, I did not ask for your input did I? Ziva can have emergency care when she finishes her task. Her task was to learn how to shoot."

Ziva limped back to the gun, picked it up, and fired five more perfect shots. Eli smiled at her, looking almost kind. "You did well today Ziva. You will be a good officer. You will never use injury as an excuse will you? Death is the only thing that will justify you failing on a mission. And if you die in a coward's way you will have no honor."

"How do I die in a coward way?"

"If you die before you complete the mission."

"Eli, she is too young to know things like this."

"She is just old enough. Your mother is home. She cannot know about this."

"About…." Before Eli could answer, Rivka David rushed into the backyard. "She fell out of the tree. I think her ankle is broken."

"Oh you poor girl." She tried to pick Ziva up, but Ziva pushed her away. "I can walk."

"You won't be a good officer if you ruin your ankle for the rest of your life." This was Ari, speaking in French.

"Rivka doesn't know French." This was Mercy, back again.

Ziva thought about the statement, and she looked at her father, who nodded in agreement. She looked back to Rivka, who was confused, and Ziva lifted her arms for her mother to lift her off the ground.

How do you feel Jethro?"

"How do I feel?" Gibbs spun around to face the angel, face red and eyes blazing. "He is a monster….He…He…." Gibbs was too mad even to form words, and Mercy understood what he was thinking without hearing him actually say it.

"Are you starting to understand?"

"I understand that she has been trained for this since birth…. Is there anything else to her besides the officer side? Did she have a childhood you're not showing me?"

"Ballet, Jethro. You saw some of it. You will understand the answer to that question by the time we are finished. I can promise you that."

There's chapter two! Tell me what you think about this version of Eli! Don't worry, he won't be evil all the time. You will plenty of chances to see the loving side of Ziva's dad.

Coming up…Probably coming time for Ziva to be disenchanted with Mossad or I might show her relationship with Tali (I have big plans there)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello! Thank you for your reviews! I hope Chapter Three is everything you hoped for. I still don't own the characters.

Previously, Gibbs witnessed Eli David training Ziva

"Where are you going to take me now?"

Mercy only smiled, and disappeared as the light flashed. When the world came back into focus, he was standing in a gym. All around him were people, mostly men, in workout clothes. Some were punching the living daylights out of each other, and others appeared to be wrestling. In some corners, it looked like martial arts were going on. Gibbs looked for Ziva, not sure what time period it was, but he knew that he was in the Mossad gym. He saw the answer in the massive military time clock on the wall. It was 0500, which made him look at the packed gym with some admiration. The clock also revealed that it was 1990. Ziva was eight years old.

He knew Eli at least was coming when the men closest to the entrance jumped to attention and in a chain reaction, the whole room followed suit. It was in fact Eli, and Ziva too, coming in. Eli was in a suit, like he always seemed to wear, and Ziva wore sweats and a t shirt, her hair pulled back. Gibbs sat down, not sure if he was ready to witness more training.

"Ilan, so glad to have you here!" Gibbs's head shot up as Ilan Bodnar strolled over to Eli and Ziva. He looked to be in his mid to late 20s. Disgust flowed through him when Eli greeted him, both of them smiling.

"Peace, Jethro." Mercy was suddenly sitting next to him, and Gibbs mouth curved into a sneer. "Peace? He's the one who orders the hit to kill Eli so he can be director of Mossad. He killed Jackie Vance. He tried to kill Tony and Ziva."

"Right now Ilan is a loyal officer, and Eli's practical son. If you would suggest to him now that he would betray Eli, he would be horrified. Try to focus on the man he is now, not the man you know he is going to become." Her expression was gentle, and Gibbs felt himself calm, although only slightly.

"Ari has been telling me how good you are at hand to hand combat. I am glad to see your skill firsthand." Ilan ruffled her hair and Ziva smiled at him, though it wasn't the big, sincere smile he had seen when she looked at her half-brother. Even now it seemed that Ilan Bodnar made her uneasy. "Are you to be my…." She trailed off and Gibbs was surprised that she was speaking in English. For the first time he heard the Ziva he knew, even if this version of English was rough and heavily accented.

"English already Ziva! You picked it up more quickly than I ever did!" Ilan answered in English as well, and Ziva paused before answering, letting her mind think about the words he was using. "Abba has been helping me outside of school." Gibbs wondered if it was significant that she still used the Hebrew word for father, but he didn't have time to read into it as Eli led over another Israeli. "This is your partner."

Eli and Ilan both stepped back and the two looked at each other. The man she was to fight wasn't really a man, since he only looked to be around 18, but he was a giant compared to Ziva. Still, she stared up at him, looking quite fierce and cute all at the same time.

"How am I supposed to…" the boy stopped midsentence as Ziva launched herself at him, and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him down. Instincts flared and soon he fought back, the two rolling around, until Ziva jumped up on top, her lip bloody and the boy unconscious.

"Very good Ziva! Who is next?"

"One by one, she took down six young officers of the Mossad. She was sweaty, she had some battle wounds, but she was bright eyed and looked alive, enjoying how good she was. The room had gathered to watch, as the grown agents pretended not to be impressed. "She is truly the director's daughter" they murmured in awe.

"Will anybody try next?" The room was silent, until Ilan stepped forward. "I will try the next fight." The room oohed and awed and Ziva smiled sweetly as he stepped onto the mat. The agents watched at attention as the two fought like they were bitter enemies. Gibbs was on the edge of his seat himself, watching Ziva fight the same way she did as an adult, though with less strength, less speed, and less skill. She was good now, as a child, but had certainly blossomed since.

She pinned him down, as she twisted his arm back. Gibbs thought she had him, until Ilan twisted back and sat on her. She struggled, and kicked him squarely in the face as she got away again. Money was changing hands behind the fight, and Eli had a wide grin on his face, pride written across his features. Eventually though, experience won and Ziva fell. Still, the people clapped and Ilan shook her hand. "Not bad young Ziva."

"Not bad? He had to use everything he had to beat an eight year old." Gibbs was laughing at Ilan's sweating and red face, but he was looking more at Ziva and Eli. Eli had hugged her, actually given her a hug, and they walked out together. Gibbs followed, and the two went to Eli's car. Gibbs slipped into the backseat. The conversation lapsed into Hebrew as the two talked about her skill in the gym. They are both bright eyed and all smiles, as if they were a normal father and daughter talking about a softball game. The car stops outside an ice cream shop of all places, and as they get out, hand in hand, Mercy is suddenly there.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you a time that Ziva loved her father."

"This isn't changing my opinion of Eli David."

Mercy sighed, though no evidence of frustration appeared on her face. "There is a lot more for you to see." The light flashed as Gibbs pictured how satisfying it would be to head slap this angel woman thing.

Ziva and Tali are in the backyard when Gibbs sees them next. She is still sporting a bruise like she was after the training, so he knows it has only been a week or so. Tali is mirroring her movements as Ziva practices marital arts.

"Ziva, teach me how to fight like you!" The little girl is completely different than the Ziva he saw at six years old. This girl is like any other child, but Ziva complies. To his amusement, she teaches the girl a judo throw type of thing, and Tali does it without error.

"Ziva David!" Both girls spin around to see a furious Rivka storming towards them. "Tali, go play with your dolls." The girl runs off, pleased to listen, and Ziva stands up straighter in front of her mother. "What is wrong?"

"If I ever catch you showing her one of your training exercises again…"

"Why can't I show her? She is going to have to learn them eventually and I am giving her a head start. She will be better than me, better than Ari if I help her!"

Rivka is the second David parent to slap Ziva, and it is hard, straight across the face. She pointed a finger at her daughter and spoke, her eyes flashing. "Ari is not a name for this house. And you may want to run around with guns and kill people for your father, but you will not corrupt Tali. Tali is not a killer and she will not be trained for the Mossad. I'm going to have to ask you to stay away from her."

"I won't bring it up again. I can still play with her and stuff right?"

Rivka signed heavily. "You are a bad influence Ziva. You belong in your father's world and Tali belongs in mine. I am sorry that that is how things are."

"You think I'm a bad person?"

"Ziva, that's not what I meant."

"I love Tali more than you or abba or Ari or the Mossad. I will not talk about Mossad with her. I will only play with her and dance with her."

"I'm sorry, but you can't." Rivka did indeed look sorry but it didn't stop Ziva from running away from her mother, tears shining in her eyes.

Before Gibbs can process, they are in Tali's bedroom. Her bruises look the same, so Gibbs can infer that it is the same day. She sits by Tali, the two wrapped in a hug. "Tali, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A singer." Tali didn't hesitate. "And a mommy. What about you?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" The girl sounded like an indignant teenager. "You're older than me."

"I know, but I'm not as smart. But you know what I'm going to be. I'm going to help the country like abba does." Ziva sounded proud of the statement, pride for her future career evident. Gibbs wondered how long that lasted.

"But is that what you want to be?" Tali was persistent and Gibbs realized there was this whole other person that he had never gotten to meet that was so much like Ziva but yet so different. He wished that Tali David could have grown up and been there for Ziva.

Ziva really thought about the question, and Tali kept looking up at her, waiting for an answer, and Ziva shook her head. "I don't know."

The light flashed, and Eli David was walking into Mossad, Ziva close behind as always. "What are we doing here so late?"

The bruises are gone but neither look any older. Eli smiles. "More training. Every agent is required to watch an autopsy before they are instated as Mossad. You will see one now."

"What is an autopsy?" She wrinkled her nose at the English word she didn't know, and Eli laughed and supplied the Hebrew and Farsi counterparts. Ziva looked a tad panicked a moment before she nodded, but Eli noticed.

"It is not a big deal. The man we have today was an enemy of Mossad. One of our best assassins killed him last night. I want you to see what a good soldier's job well done looks like." Ziva nodded again, still looking slightly uneasy, but managed to smile and followed her father into the room as the people in it snapped to attention.

"This is him." A sheet was covering the man's body, and the doctor pulled it down. Gibbs was a seasoned investigator. He had seen some awful things on an autopsy table. So had Ziva, both at Mossad and NCIS, but this was the first time, and it was not the clean body with some bullet holes in the chest that he expected. This man had been shot in the head, and blood still covered him. The wound was low, and one eye was falling out of the socket from the impact. The front of his head was missing, and brain could be seen. Ziva, to her credit, did not make a scene. Her eyes widening was the only clue she was affected.

"Why does he look like that?"

"We use powerful weapons to kill the enemy. That is the same type of gun and bullet you were using just the other day."

"I shot a gun that does that?"

"Of course Ziva. It is what you will use when you are an agent, to kill people who hurt us, people like him."

"What did he do?"

"It doesn't matter. He was an enemy and he needed to be stopped. This is what you do. You will be given a name and you will kill them. You will save countless members of Mossad and countless citizens of Israel. You will be a hero to all of us."

"Do we always kill our criminals?"

"If we can."

Ziva watched the whole autopsy and did whatever they asked her of the body. She cleaned the blood off his face and held his heart and kidneys. She asked questions in all the right places and she smiled at the doctor and her father. She did not get sick or upset, and Gibbs once again thought of his own daughter at eight, when she had to get a shot and freaked out at the needle prick. After they were done, Ziva looked up at her father with pleading eyes and asked to leave, and he listened.

"Abba?"

"Yes Ziva?"

"I don't know if I can do that. Kill someone like that ."

Eli laughed. "Of course you can. Just point and shoot."

"But he's a person."

"He is the enemy." All the playfulness was gone and he looked mad. "This is who you are Ziva. A patriot."

"Can't you put them in jail?"

"No, we can't. We kill them. You will kill them. It is your job." He turned away and the rest of the car ride was spent in silence.

It was dark when they got home, and Gibbs followed Ziva into the back of the house. Tali was in her room, lying in bed, and Ziva slid in next to her.

"I was waiting for you."

"I'm sorry. I was with abba."

"I know. She's mad."

They all knew this _she_ was Rivka. Ziva lay back, staring at the ceiling, and Tali leaned on her shoulder. "She would be even madder if she knew I was in here." Both girls laughed, and fell silent for a minute until Ziva spoke again.

"I have an answer."

"A what?" Tali was half asleep, but Ziva plowed on. "I want to be a dancer."

That's it! I literally wrote the outline for the whole story so I just have to get it all down. Please tell me the good and bad so I can improve for next time!


	4. Chapter 4

So, chapter 4! I am really eager to write this story since I have the outline sitting in front of me, so expect updates whenever I have some time after or before work. I don't own the characters.

Previously….Ziva tells Tali she wants to be a ballet dancer

Gibbs knew that she couldn't see or hear him, but he still walked over to the bed and pressed a kiss to the head of Ziva. He wondered when she gave up that dream, the dream of being a dancer. Something told him that Ziva was a good dancer-he could see it, with the way she carried herself. The light flashed again, and he was in the kitchen of the house. Glancing at the calendar, he saw that it was 1991. She was nine years old. Nothing seemed to be happening inside the house, so he went into the yard.

Ziva was shooting. She had on ear protection, and her targets all boasted a gaping hole in the middle, where she had shot perfect shot after perfect shot. Tali was on the other side of the yard, fooling around in the lower branches of the tree that Ziva had fallen out of. Rivka was watching Tali.

"Shalom." They all looked up but Ziva, who couldn't hear, to see Eli David walking into the yard. Ari was following him, and Gibbs did some quick math to conclude that he was 22 years old.

"Good, you're here. I had to finish dinner." Rivka obviously meant for Eli or Ari to watch Tali, which was ironic considering it was Ziva with a loaded gun. Without waiting for a response, she hurried into the house. Ari watched Ziva shoot, an unreadable expression on his face. Finally, he spoke.

"I have to take care of something. I should be back in 20 minutes or so."

Eli hardly acknowledged him, and Ari casually rolled his eyes as he exited the yard. So it was just Eli alone with his two daughters again. Gibbs was nervous. Something bad was going to happen. As soon as Ari was out of sight, he walked over to the tree, and Tali.

"You know, Ziva could climb all the way to the top when she was seven."

Even Gibbs knew Tali well enough to know that she wasn't competitive, so he wasn't surprised when Tali shrugged. "I don't need to climb that high."

"Let's see how high you can climb."

"How will I get down?"

"I'll catch you."

Gibbs understood now. He was going to let a second daughter fall out of the tree. He was going to teach Tali the same lesson. He was powerless to do anything as Tali climbed halfway up. "I went high enough."

"Ok, I'm ready to catch you."

Eli held out his arms, and caught the child. Gibbs was confused, until he remembered Ziva telling Ari that he had caught her the first time as well. His suspicions were confirmed when Eli smiled at his youngest. "You can get higher than that."

Tali grinned and jumped back into the tree. Tali did not climb the tree with the skill Ziva had at seven. She struggled, and took her time to get above each and every branch, but she was making it to the top. Gibbs kept looking back at Ziva, but she was oblivious to anything but her target. She was currently shooting her name, the English version, on an empty target.

"Abba I'm scared."

"It's ok. You can jump. I got you."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

At that moment, Ziva finished her name and glanced at her watch, and took her ear protection out. She turned around, and her face went white. "Tali no!"

It was too late. Tali had let go, and Ziva was running, like she was going to try and catch her sister. Eli had stepped back like he did with Ziva, obviously planning on letting Tali fall. Gibbs didn't expect him to step forward again, hold out his arms, and catch her.

Ziva stopped running, frozen. Tali was crying, because she had believed she was going to fall. Because Eli had waited so long to try and catch her, he had grabbed her right before she hit the ground. She ran inside the house, and Ziva and Eli were left, staring each other down. Gibbs expected an explosion, but Ari at that moment walked back into the yard. Rivka called her dinner, and Eli walked away.

"Ziva, what is wrong? Are you alright?" Ari knelt in front of her, glancing at the retreating figure of Eli David with barely disguised hatred. "What did he do?"

Ziva was stammering. "Nothing…he didn't do anything wrong…he.."

"What is going on?"

"He caught her."

"What?"

"I was not watching. I did not even know he got home. I was shooting. I turn around and Tali is at the top of the tree and he is there, acting like he is going to catch her, just like he did with me. I ran, and I tried to stop her, but she jumped. And he stepped back just like he did with me, but he changed his mind. He did catch her. And I know that I wanted him to because now Tali is not hurt, and I would have been angry at him if he let her fall but…."

Ari understood. He always understood. "But a small, mean part of you wishes that he had let her fall too."

Ziva buried her head in his shoulder and he embraced her. "I am awful." Gibbs and Ari had matching expressions of sadness at her words, both knowing that she meant them completely. "No. You are anything but awful."

"Tali does not want to be an officer."

Ari looks surprised by her topic switch, but smiles sadly. "I know. Eli knows that too."

"But what if he makes her?" Ziva was close to tears, and any other child would probably be crying, but Ziva was not one of those children.

"You will have to stop him." Ari was trying to sound playful to lighten her mood, but Ziva wasn't falling for it.

"But how?"

"You will figure it out. What does Tali want to be?"

"A singer. And a mother." Ziva was calmer now, after she had a direct question to answer and think about. "I don't know if she will always want that. She would be a good doctor someday. But if she wants to be a singer I think she is going to be good enough."

"Is that what you want for her?"

Ziva had to think about it for all of 10 seconds. "Yes. I want her to be a singer."

Ari smiled. "So what are you going to do to make sure that happens?"

Ziva looked years older than nine as she stared Ari in the eyes, all traces of hysteria gone. "I will do whatever it takes."

There you go! I know it was a short update with not a lot of action but in my plan I had to cut the story off here. Next update will be in a day or so with an action packed chapter. If you're confused on the conversation between Ari and Ziva, I promise you it will make sense in later chapters.

]


	5. Chapter 5

Hello, next chapter is coming up! This is one I'm really excited to write so I hope my skill does my ideas justice at least. Last chapter left off with Ziva promising herself that she would do whatever it took to keep Tali from life as an officer of the Mossad. I don't own any of the characters except for my angel creation person.

Gibbs was lost in thought, trying to determine what Ziva could possibly do in order to keep Eli David away from his youngest daughter. Rivka might have better luck with that one, but he knew that they were probably close to seeing her death. Before he could draw any conclusions the light flashed again and they were in a room. A cell.

Ziva was lying on a table. She looked the same as she did in the previous scene. Eli David stood by her, and three men that he didn't know were on the other side of the table. Mercy was standing by Gibbs, as he made his way to the table, thinking she was hurt. However, she seemed fine, other than the restraints holding her there.

"What's going on?" He directed the question to Mercy, who smiled sadly. "Training Jethro. She is still nine at this time, though she will be 10 soon. It's time for things to get serious."

"What do you…"

Of course she disappeared before she answered. Gibbs instead turned to the people at the table in search of answers. Eli David conveniently told him the whole story.

"Water Boarding is a common torture technique. Enemies will use it because it requires little tools, it is effective, and it is clean. The victim will not die of shock or bleed out or anything like that. It takes no skill to torture someone this way."

"It takes skill to use it well." The man who spoke was not an officer Gibbs had met. He smiled, revealing perfect teeth that had to be fake. No one had teeth that white. Eli David gave a half smile in return. "Indeed it does." Ziva, this is my best torture team. I would like to be able to train my agents to withstand all varieties of torture, but I cannot. I cannot cut off fingers and toes and do things that risk the lives of my agents. We must show you how to withstand such a commonly used practice, and if the time would ever come for you to be tortured, I would hope that your strong mind and patriotism would stop you from giving up any information."

Ziva nodded bravely, though she looked uneasy. Eli smiled at her, almost warmly. "This is how this will work. I will tell you something when these men leave. When they return they will water board you and act like you are a terrorist they must get information from. If you give up the knowledge I whisper in your ear, you will fail. If you fail, you will run a lap around the compound and we will try again with new information. Every time you fail we will repeat this. When we decide you pass, you will not have to do it again. But you will have to hold off a long time to pass Ziva. I hope you realize that."

"I do."

"Good. Now, can you step out?" The question was directed at the men, who listened, and Eli leaned in. "The team left at 0600 and will be attacking from the north. They have 12 men and five snipers. The team has an inside man. We will call him James, a nice American name for you. They are attacking because they want the diamonds. Do you got all that?"

"Yes Abba."

"Good. You will fail if you even give up one part of the facts I just gave you. Good luck Ziva."

Gibbs honestly didn't think he could watch it happen. He wished he could leave, but he forced himself to stay. He had promised himself he would stay for this entire journey through her life. Eli David stepped into the corner. Suddenly, a rag was forced onto her face and the men starting pouring water on it. Ziva struggled, but the restraints made this pointless.

The men were screaming at her in Arabic, asking her questions about the information Eli David had given her. Ziva didn't say anything when they took the rag away and asked her, and each time Eli would smile proudly and the rag would go back on. Gibbs was pacing, trying not to look at her, and was turned away when it happened. She was suddenly off the table, where she had somehow freed herself, and knocked out all three men with more skill than the last time he had saw her fight, in the gym. She turned to Eli, grinning, her hair soaked, expecting to be praised.

"Ziva, this was not the task."

"But is it not better to get away if I am being interrogated? I know it was not the task but I just got off the table you use for actual interrogations, so I think that is more impressive than withstanding water boarding for any longer."

"You showed weakness by not being able to withstand."

"I withstood for 20 minutes and then I escaped."

Eli sighed, looking exhausted. "Get back on the table."

Now, Gibbs did leave, sitting outside the door as they water boarded her the next two hours. At one point they switched to oil and he was disgusted with all of them. The door opened and the interrogation team stepped out. Gibbs went back in to see how Ziva was doing. Eli opened the restraints and helped her sit up with all the tenderness of a father.

"You did well today Ziva. I am sorry we had to keep going, but today was for perseverance under torture, and you did just that."

"How about real torture? Like when they want to cause me physical harm? How will I be able to learn how to withstand that?"

"We cannot teach that Ziva. If that ever happens to you I would hope you could use your strong mind to stand until Mossad officers arrived."

"Oh, you would come for me?"

"Well, you are my child and you would be an officer. Why would I not?"

The light flashed as Gibbs processed his words. He didn't come for her. He left her in the desert. At that moment, he realized that her time in Somalia would be something the angel would show him. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

"It is Ziva's 10th birthday today. And things kind of spiral downhill for the family." Gibbs jumped as Mercy appeared behind him, looking sad. "Up until now Ziva had a family life. There were problems, of course. Rivka hated Ari, and has started to distrust Ziva. Her and Eli have a rocky relationship. But this is where it gets worse."

"But Rivka didn't die until Ziva was 11 or 12."

"That's not the event I was talking about."

Before Gibbs could answer, Ziva ran into the house. Rivka was washing dishes. "I had the best day!"

Rivka sighed and slammed the dish she had just washed onto the counter. "And why is that?" Sarcasm was dripping from her words, but Ziva didn't seem to notice. "I am going on a trip."

"And where are you traveling to?" The sarcasm, if possible, had increased. Ziva still didn't seem to notice, and continued.

"I have been chosen to go with a group of trainees to Afghanistan."

Gibbs turned to Mercy. "How is that a good thing?"

"Ziva has seen a lot of war living in Israel. She has seen the results of suicide bombings and terrorists right here since she was a toddler. However, she has never seen the way it is when there are no Jewish people. She is going there to learn how to be the enemy."

"Ziva, please do not talk to me about Mossad."

"This is a big deal. The youngest person after me is 19 years old. Abba was not even the one to put me on the trip. Officer Hadar saw me shooting and requested that I be added to the team."

"I am sure your Abba is proud of you is he not?"

Ziva, for the first time, realized something was wrong with her mother that day. "Yes….yes he is." She stopped at that, as her mother narrowed her eyes. "What is wrong?"

Rivka slammed another dish into the soapy water so hard that it made Ziva jump. "What did I do?"

"You are…you are so much like him. You are his little protégé, and someday you will be exactly the type of person he is. You will ruin lives…" at this she started crying, and knelt down. Ziva mirrored her movements. Switching to Hebrew, she tried to talk to Rivka again.

"Mother, what is wrong? Why are you crying? Who has hurt you? Ziva had fire in her eyes. Gibbs had seen that look many times on Ziva. She was ready to go after whoever had hurt someone she loved.

"It is your father. It is your father." Rivka dissolved into tears, but Ziva kept pushing. "What has he done?"

"He is turning you into him…he wants to turn Tali into him….like his bastard son."

"Mother, Tali will not be anything like him. And I have chosen the life I have. It is not on you or Abba or Ari. Abba is a good man. He has done more for this country…"

For the second time in her life that Gibbs had witnessed, Rivka David slapped her daughter. "He has done nothing! He has destroyed me, he has destroyed Tali…"

"He has not destroyed us."

"Not you! You are his pet, his perfect little daughter who is going to do exactly what he wants until the day you die. You are the only person he loves."

"He loves all of us! He loves you." Ziva was reaching for her mother, but she was pulling away. "Ask him what he does when he does not come home."

"He is working…"

"He is sleeping with that woman!"

Ziva pulled away from her mother, her face gone white. "Who? What are you talking about?"

"I don't know who she is. Orli Elbaz is her name. She is a pig, a Mossad pig, just like he is!"

"I know Orli. She is a loyal officer and could be a truly great leader in the Mossad someday. She has great respect for Abba. She would never do that."

"She did." Rivka suddenly sat back, all traces of hysteria gone and Ziva seemed to realize things were going to get dangerous. "Eli David is dead to me. I already told him he isn't coming home tonight. He is no longer welcome in this house. You can go with him, or you can come with me and Tali. You need to pick." Without another word, Rivka stood and left Ziva in the kitchen.

Ziva stood and ran out of the house. Gibbs ran after her, not knowing where she was going to go. She stopped when she got to the barn, and slid open the side door. He stepped in behind her, expecting to see cars or a shooting range or tools. Instead, he saw a bare room, a mirror covering one wall, the floor wooden. It was a dance studio, built onto the side of the barn. Gibbs had never seen it, in all the times he had watched the interactions of Ziva's family.

Ziva started the music and began to dance. Gibbs was honestly stunned. Until this experience had started, he had had no idea that Ziva could dance. And now, he was watching her, at 10 years old, dance better than any adult he had seen. He laughed. Of course Ziva was good at it. Ziva was good at everything.

Gibbs wasn't sure how long he watched her dance, until she stopped. She stormed over, shut the music off, and walked out of the studio. He followed, confused. Why had she stopped dancing? The answer was clear when she opened a closet in the barn, selected one weapon out of many, and went back to her yard, shooting her targets over and over as the light flashed.

He is sitting in an opened back army vehicle. With him in the jeep, there are Mossad trainees in the type of clothing Ziva wore often, cargo pants and plain shirts. There were five men, and two women, if you counted Ziva as a woman. She sat with them, but wasn't really a part of them yet. Gibbs could guess that they weren't thrilled with having the director's 10 year old daughter with them. Driving the vehicle was Amit Hadar, looking younger than Gibbs knew him to be, of course.

"We are driving into the middle of one of the hottest zones in Afghanistan. Keep your head on your shoulders and do not do anything stupid. We are not here to do anything other than to look around."

"Why do we have so many weapons then?" It was one of the other officers, and Gibbs saw Ziva roll her eyes at the question. "We are in Afghanistan and we are not exactly going to blend in here, especially the girls, so I feel pretty good having a weapon. But that is just my opinion." One of the other trainees had spoken, and both of them earned glares from Hadar. "Do not speak so much. The two of you sound Hebrew when you speak Arabic. You could take some lessons from Ziva David."

Ziva tried not to look proud as the two glared at her. "We are here." The jeep stopped in front of a recently bombed building. "Where is here?"

"This was bombed because they were known to be Jews and Christians. They took any person who survived the blast to that corner of the square and beheaded all of them. Their bodies are still over there. I want each and every one of you to walk over and look at what they do to us. I want you to look at what you are going to stop when you are officers."

Gibbs walked with the somber group to the mangled and torn bodies. They had been there at least a day and the smell was awful in the heat. Ziva knelt over the body of a child and started to whisper a prayer. Hadar smiled proudly and the others followed suit. Gibbs felt like he was intruding on something sacred, even if he wasn't really there.

When they were done, Hadar started to walk. "We are going to go for a walk in the city. Be on the lookout, keep your heads up." They followed him, and Gibbs walked by Ziva, laughing a little at how many more steps she had to take to keep up with the others. Their eyes traveled across the locals scurrying past at the sight of their guns. Ziva seemed to be looking around the most. That was why she saw it.

"Hadar, watch out!" In one motion, she shoved him away. "Get down!" The other officers listened. Gunshots went off, and Ziva stood, firing twice into the window of a building across the street. An Arab man fell out, his machine gun with him.

"Go, go, get to cover." Hadar took charge of the group, pushing them behind the closest building. Ziva didn't seem fazed by what she had just done, and one of the officers turned to her. "Thank you." There was no mockery in his tone, and the others nodded. She had earned their respect. Hadar nodded his head in her direction, showing his approval and respect, and Ziva nodded back. That was the end of the exchange, and the lights flashed.

There's the chapter! I will update again as soon as I can.


	6. Chapter 6

So, next chapter is here. I am so happy with the response I've gotten with this story and I hope I can continue to make everyone happy. I realized a slight hiccup with my outline-I'll explain more after the chapter but you might catch on before that happens.

Gibbs was still reeling from watching Ziva's first kill. It hadn't been on a mission, really, and she hadn't assassinated anyone on orders from Eli David. Her first kill was one out of pure necessity. She had killed to protect her team, exactly the type of kills she made at NCIS. Obviously, her career had changed drastically since then, but here, at the start, was nothing but pure intentions.

He was in a house he didn't recognize. So far, he had seen two homes in Ziva's life, the one from her early childhood and the one she had been in for the majority of her life. Now, he was in a simple, small home with little furniture. Mercy was sitting on the couch.

"Hello."

"Where am I?"

"The new bachelor home of Eli David. Technically, he and Rivka are still married but Orli is an item at the same time. Right now, Ziva is staying with Eli and Tali is with Rivka, and Rivka isn't letting Ziva anywhere near them."

Gibbs looked grim. "Does that change before she dies?"

"You'll see. Ziva is home right now-she's in the other room, and Eli is about to get back from a trip. He knows what happened in Afghanistan but hasn't seen her yet. It's only been a week."

As she finished speaking, Eli David opened the door. When he did so, Ziva ran from another room and launched herself at him. He lifted her completely off the ground and they hugged for a good 20 seconds. "My Ziva, I have missed you so."

"How was the trip?" Her eyes were sparkling and Gibbs knew enough about kid Ziva to know that she just wanted to skip the niceties and talk about her trip to Afghanistan. Eli seemed to know that as well, and smiled at her. "Hadar is singing your praises around Mossad."

"He is?" Hadar hadn't mentioned the incident since, in fact, they hadn't spoken and it made her nervous. "He says he wishes you were five or so years older so he could take you on every mission he goes on. He said that you impressed him throughout the trip in the way you carried yourself. He felt safe when the two of you were out walking alone, just as safe as he felt when he was with a seasoned officer. And he made a special note on your language skills and your accuracy every time you used a weapon." Eli was exploding with pride. "You became someone on that trip Ziva."

Ziva's smiled faded and Eli looked concerned. "What is wrong?"

"I have not seen Tali since before I left on the trip. I went home to try and see both of them and I was not allowed in."

"She kept you from coming in?"

"I could have gotten in so easily of course, but if she does not want me there…"

"Ziva, I would talk to her but she does not want to listen to me anytime soon."

Ziva looked heartbroken. "I will not be home tonight. I am going to go over and see Tali." Ziva looked determined, and actually looked her age for once. "I will go in the window. I need to see her."

Eli smiled sadly. "I understand."

"My recital is coming up soon as well. You said you could come this year right?" Her face was the very definition of hope, but Gibbs knew too well where this was going. Eli's face confirmed his fear.

"Ziva, I cannot do that." As soon as he spoke, Ziva's face fell and Gibbs wanted to give her a hug. "But..."

Looking frustrated, Eli took a step away from her. "Ziva, I have an entire country to keep safe. I cannot be at a ballet recital. It is not practical. My responsibilities are too great for you to fathom. Do not be a child."

He walked away, leaving Ziva, who looked like she could cry.

The light flashed and Gibbs knew it was the same day, only later, because Ziva was wearing the same clothes. It was dark outside, and they were in the yard of the house that Rivka and Tali still lived in, even if Eli and Ziva had been pretty much kicked out. She didn't have anything with her, and her movements were smooth as she scaled the side of the house and climbed into an open window. Gibbs took the easy route of opening the front door and walking up the stairs, since no one could see or hear him.

By the time he got there, Tali was awake and locked in a tight embrace with Ziva. "I missed you so much Zivvey…I tried to call you…"

"Shh, shh I know. It is alright." Gibbs was aware of how much younger Tali seemed than Ziva. Tali at eight was like Kelly had been at eight. In other words, she was normal. Her father was still the director of Mossad, so her childhood wasn't exactly typical, but she wasn't a trained assassin either.

"Where were you?"

"On a training trip. I do not want to talk about it. How are you?"

"I am nervous for the ballet recital."

"Oh, Tali, you do not need to be nervous." Ziva put an arm around her sister and Tali leaned on her. "I wish I was as good as you are at dancing Zivvey."

"You are a beautiful dancer. And remember you are a singer first of all."

Tali's face brightened and she smiled. "I got a perfect score on my English exam. The teacher said she knew I had been practicing at home."

"See, I told you talking to me in English would help. Right now you sound like a regular American."

"I want to go to American someday. I want to see New York City and Disneyworld." Her eyes were shining with thoughts of a place she thought bigger and better than Israel.

"I would love to see America too. Someday I will take you there on a trip."

"Really?" The girl was so excited that she switched to Hebrew. "I love you Ziva."

"I love you too."

Gibbs watched them talk for about 10 minutes. Mossad, Ziva's lifestyle, and the breakup of their parents were not topics. If Tali hinted to anything like that, Ziva expertly steered the conversation away. Even here, with nobody watching them, she was respecting her mother and shielding her sister from reality. Eventually, Ziva planted a kiss on Tali's head. "I need to go before I am seen here."

"Ziva, wait." Tali got out of bed too, holding onto her shirt. "I need to tell you something."

"Tali, what is it?" Ziva sat back on the bed, but Tali stayed standing.

"I do not want to be a Mossad officer." Tali spoke quickly like she was afraid of how Ziva would react. Ziva stood and hugged her like she would never let go. "I know, I know. You are not going to be. If you were you would already be training. You know that."

"But what if Abba makes me do it?"

Ziva knelt in front of Tali so she was looking up at her. "Tali, I promise that Abba is not going to make you an officer. I will not allow it."

"What if you cannot stop him?"

"Tali, as long as I do everything he wants me to he will not need you. If I am the officer he needs he will not need you. I promise that I will be perfect for him, so he will never need you. Do you believe me?"

Tali nodded, and hugged Ziva again. "Thank you."

"I would do anything to protect you Tali. Surely you now know that."

The light flashed and they were back in the house that Eli was now living in. "Ziva, I need to speak with you."

"What is it?"

"Ari is coming to visit with some woman he met at the hospital. He wants you to meet her. And Ari will be coming to dinner on Friday night."

"Really?" Ziva lit up. "Are we going to eat with her and Tali?"

Of course, the "her" was Rivka. Eli rubbed his face, looking exhausted. "I am trying my best with that issue. Do not worry about it. You are going to go to the airport and meet Ari and Deena. That is her name. She is 18 years old. I am sure you two will be friends.

"My recital is tonight. Are you sure you cannot come?"

"I am sure. Rivka will be taking your sister there. Maybe you can talk to her."

The light flashed and Gibbs was standing in front of a stage. Ziva was walking onto it, in pink, her hair in a bun. She started to dance and once again Gibbs was in a trance watching her. She showed a grace and a skill level far beyond what he could have ever expected and he wanted to see her dance now, as an adult. When she finished, the audience cheered loudly, but no one as loudly as Ari and a girl that he had never seen before. Gibbs watched them run backstage, and followed.

"Ari!" Ziva ran to him and they hugged. "Oh Ziva I have missed you."

"I thought you were not coming until Friday."

"I wanted to surprise you. I also wanted you to be the first to meet Deena Bashan." Deena smiled and held out a hand. "Nice to meet you Ziva."

"I can see why Ari likes you." Deena laughed as Ari's face got bright red. "You are a beautiful dancer."

"Thank you. Did you see Rivka and Tali? Are they here?" She directed the question to Ari, who nodded. They are in the third row. Why?"

"I need to talk to her."

"Well, she was coming this way when we left….there she is." As he finished speaking, Rivka walked into the room. At the sight of Ari, she stiffened. "Ziva."

"Shalom."

"I wanted to tell you that I will not be attending Shabbat dinner. However, I will allow Tali to go so you can see her. She is your sister. I am a fair person."

"Thank you…"

Rivka had already turned away. She walked a few steps, and stopped. "You danced better than anyone today." Before Ziva could reply, she walked away, leaving them there.

"Deena should come to dinner! Then you can meet Tali as well."

"I will ask Eli when I see him later. Deena, would you like to go?" He looked to his girlfriend, who grinned. "Of course I would."

The light flashed and they were in a dark room. On one side of the table sat Ari, Deena, and Tali. On the other sat Ziva and Eli. Eli stood, and looked to Ziva. "Would you like to sing the blessing?"

Ziva looked amazed. Mercy was suddenly besides him. "Eli or Rivka always recited the blessing. This is his way to make up for missing the recital. He is a father at heart."

Gibbs made a non-committed grunt, as Ziva stood and waved her hands over the candles, than half covered her eyes and started to sing in a clear, lovely voice. It surprised Gibbs-he thought Tali was the David sister who could sing. A few words in, she looked up at her dad, who nodded that she was doing a good job, his eyes filled with love and pride. Gibbs watched the dinner, noting the traditions and religious meaning with a new appreciation. It hit him that it was doing this dinner that Eli and Jackie were killed, years in the future, and it lost a little of its luster.

After the dinner, Gibbs pulled his daughters aside. "I have gifts for the two of you. Both of you make me extremely proud, and I do not tell you that enough." He handed them two identical boxes, which they opened in unison. Nestled in fabric were very familiar necklaces. A gold Star of David on a gold chain, shining and new. Ziva hooked hers on and helped Tali with hers.

"Thank you Abba." Their gratitude was evident. Eli smiled. "Be careful with these. They show who you are to the world."

The light flashed again and he was back in the house that Rivka and Tali lived in. Mercy was with him. "Ziva is 11 now. The tension you saw in the family has remained in the last eight months or so. Rivka is still mad at Ziva for taking her father's side. Eli is still sleeping with Orli. Rivka is allowing Ziva to see Tali but she stays in the room to make sure she doesn't corrupt her. Ziva has been trained along the way."

"Why am I here?"

"You know what you're going to see." Her expression was sad, and Gibbs knew. "Rivka's death."

Mercy nodded, and disappeared. The phone rang and rang but no one picked up. When it went to the answering machine, a familiar voice came on the line. It was Ziva.

"Ima, it is me. Please listen to me. I miss you. You will not talk to me." Her voice cracked and so did Gibbs's heart. "I am sorry. I know that Eli hurt you and broke up our family, but he is still my abba, and he is still Tali's abba. I cannot act like he is not there for the rest of my life. I cannot live with you and Tali and not be allowed to speak to him. I need him to train me. I know you do not believe me, but I am becoming an officer for me, and for Tali. I mean it when I say that I will die before I hurt Tali. Abba knows that she is not officer material and you do not need to be afraid to let him see her. He is her Abba." She sighed, and went on. "But just like Eli is my Abba, you are my Ima. I need you, just like I need Eli. It has been so long. I need my Ima back. I need to know you still love me. I still love you. I think about you every day and I want you to let me come home. Please Ima, please let me come back." The recording shut off and Rivka walked into the kitchen, throwing her keys on the table. She saw the light of the answering machine, and Ziva's message played through. Gibbs watched Rivka's face throughout and knew Ziva had gotten to her. She was tearing up. Gibbs understood. She was Ziva's mom. She was probably missing her just as much as Ziva missed her. Ziva had to get her stubbornness from someone.

Rivka picked up the phone and dealt a number. "Ziva."

"Ima?"

"I miss you too Zivvey."

Suddenly, the house was lit up. It sounded exactly like what he had heard over the phone when Eli and Jackie were killed. Gibbs ducked on instinct even if the bullets couldn't hurt him. Rivka was not that lucky. Three bullets hit her and she fell, dead before she knew what had happened. Ziva was yelling over the phone, screaming for Rivka to tell her what was going on, but it was too late. Rivka David was dead, the brief instant after she and Ziva started to make up.

That's all. As for my hiccup, I realized that I wanted to show Ziva singing the blessing but that you could see three people at the table, one assumed to be Rivka, but I had already made Rivka and Eli break up, so Deena became the third person. Hope it all made sense.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi Everyone! Hope you are all sticking with me. Next Chapter is here, I still don't own

Gibbs was reeling from the death of Rivka David. He saw little Tali run into the room, screaming for Rivka, and fall over her mother, sobbing hysterically. Gibbs sat nearby and watched the scene, feeling an array of emotions. He could see the parallels between the deaths of both of Ziva's parents, with Tali crying over Rivka and Ziva crying over Eli. When would Eli get there to comfort his daughter? When the door opened, he was shocked to see that it was just Ziva, alone.

"Zivvey!" Tali's voice was like a child's, and the two girls fell into each other. Ziva pulled Tali into another room. "They will be here soon. We will be safe soon. I am here now, you will be alright."

"Ima…."

"Shh, shh I know."

"She is dead!"

"I know. It will be alright. I am here."

Tali pulled out of the embrace and looked Ziva straight in her eyes. She seemed to be waiting for Ziva to continue and Ziva understood. "I will protect you now, Tali. I promise that you will be safe as long as I am here. Abba is not going to make you do anything. I will make sure of it."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I promise that nothing will happen to you."

The lights flashed and Gibbs expected to see the funeral, but apparently Mercy wanted to really show that the death of her mother ended her childhood. The next thing he saw was Ziva sitting at the wheel of a car. An officer he didn't know sat next to her. Gibbs laughed as the officer went through the ins and outs of driving a stick shift.

"Try to go a little bit."

Ziva somehow got the car around the lot, despite being jerky and stalling twice. All in all, it wasn't bad for her first time and her age. Her instructor was patient and helpful, and answered all her questions. That is, things were going well until Eli David walked up to the window of the car.

Mercy was next to him in the blink of an eye. It's been a month since Rivka died. Ziva is handling it pretty well, because she's good at pushing her emotions down. She's angry that Eli isn't letting her anywhere near the investigation into Rivka's murder, and she has to stay strong for her sister. Eli stopped the affair with Orli after the murder."

"Why would he stop now?"

Mercy rolled her eyes. "He cheated on his wife with her. For him, the affair was casual at most, because his marriage was falling apart. When Rivka died, all the old feelings came back. You don't stop loving people, and he felt guilty that he tore his family apart. Staying with Orli is just a reminder of his guilt. So he ended it."

Gibbs turned back to the car, where Eli was lecturing Ziva. "You are having a lot of trouble, I see."

"I am getting used to it."

"Take a lap and show me."

Ziva nodded and started the car flawlessly. Her lap was perfect in his eyes, slow and steady and careful. When she parked again, she wound down the window, smiling. Eli was not.

"That was no good."

"Why?" Her voice had shot up, and she looked embarrassed that she showed emotion over her father's lack of approval. She cleared her throat. "Why?" This time, her voice was level and calm.

"You need to drive faster. It is your best way of avoiding possible IED's and ambushes. You are not an American teenager driving to the shopping mall. You are driving through war zones, start acting like it."

The instructor looked bothered by the inquiry. "Director, it is her first time, it is better she learn technique first. She can learn speed later." Gibbs was impressed that the man had spoken on Ziva's behalf. Eli was not. He fixed the man with a steely gaze. "I would like to continue my daughter's training please. You understand why, I am sure."

He didn't look like he understood but he wasn't going to argue with the director twice, so he got out of the car and Eli got in. Gibbs got in the backseat to watch what was going to happen next. He wasn't surprised when Eli wasted no time. "We are going to drive into down."

Ziva looked down, and Eli looked displeased. "What are you doing? Did you hear me?"

"I did, but..."

"But what?"

"I know nothing about driving in traffic and if I drive fast I might hurt someone."

"Well, you sitting there is not going to help you learn how to drive is it? Go, turn left out the gate." Ziva rolled her eyes, casually, and Eli caught it, though he didn't respond. Ziva started the car and turned out the gate.

By the time she drove the car back into the parking lot, Gibbs was wondering how she had never died on driving alone. She hadn't seemed to learn any traffic rules or regulations. Instead, she had twisted and wound around the streets of Tel Aviv, dodging people and vehicles and buildings, slipping onto the sidewalk and using the opposite lanes if the right ones were full. In conclusion, she drove the same way she drove at NCIS.

The car screeched to a stop and Eli smiled. He actually smiled. "Who is going to attack your car when you drive with such skill?"

Ziva didn't answer, and Eli looked annoyed. "What is wrong with you today?"

"You are not with Orli anymore."

Eli looked surprised, and then annoyed at her change of subject. "No, I am not. You know that."

"Why?"

"Ziva, this is not your concern…."

"WHY?" She gripped the wheel so hard her knuckles turned white and he sighed heavily. "Rivka was killed. I cannot be with someone else after that happened to her."

"Did you love her?"

"Rivka or Orli?"

"Both. Did you love them?"

Eli rubbed his face, exhausted. "I loved Rivka, dear Ziva. She was my wife and I will always love her. Orli was a distraction. She is a good woman, and beautiful, and will be a good wife and a better agent. But no. I did not love her, not like I loved Rivka. Does that answer your question?"

Ziva nodded, and Eli looked almost fond of her, as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "My Ziva. You are growing up so fast. I wish your mother could see you."

"What is the word on the investigation?"

His face closed off and Gibbs knew the conversation was over. "This is not your concern. Go home. Get some rest. Tomorrow is a big day."

The light flashed, apparently, to the next day, and he was back in the Mossad gym. He was slightly worried, but also a little excited to see how Ziva had improved in the last three years. In other scenes and moments of her life he had saw evidence in the form of black eyes and bloody knuckles of long hours in the training gym, but now he would get to see it firsthand.

"Ziva!" He saw her spine stiffen as Ilan Bodnar approached her. Ilan glanced at her attire, sweats and a tank top, and smiled. "You are looking ready to go."

"Who is my final test?"

He smiled. "You have a lot of people to get through first. We have a system." He jerked his head towards a random Mossad trainee. "He is first."

Mercy was sitting next to him, and Gibbs turned to her for an explanation. "What do they mean by final test?"

"Ziva is almost to the point of getting her first mission. She has field training and things to go, but this is her evaluation on combat skills. If she passes today she sets a Mossad record for her age. She has to get through about 20 people first."

"Are they trying to pass too?"

"Some are, some are seasoned officers. You'll know at least one face in the mix. Now, sit back and watch, this is a proud moment for her."

Gibbs watched, part of him feeling proud of her skill and ability, and some disgusted by it. She breezed through the men. Each seemed to fall sooner and sooner, groaning, red in the face from the embarrassment of it all. She had grown leaps and bounds since her last time fighting the men, and they seemed to have to hesitation in punching an 11 year old girl.

When she finished off man number 19, a two year veteran of Mossad, Ilan Bodnar pushed the last man forward. Gibbs froze. It was a familiar face. It was Malachi Ben-Gidon,the man who had abandoned her in Somalia and then tried to pin the death of a marine on her. Here he was, looking to be about 18, around 7 years older than Ziva.

Introductions were made, and they shook hands. The bell rang, and neither wasted any time. Malachi ran at her, and she slid under his legs, flipping him off the ground, where she punched him in the face three times before he flipped her onto her back and punched her four times. The gym was cheering, with the loyalties divided between the two of them, and the fight didn't seem to be ending. They rolled, got back up, and went down again. Neither had the upper hand long enough to finish the other off. No one in the room seemed to be getting bored, as the fight got more and more violent.

After 10 minutes of intense back and forth, Ziva jumped up, wrapped her legs around his neck, and jerked him down. Before he could react, she delivered a final, hard blow to the face, and he was out. Ziva had won. People clapped, and she jumped to her feet. Eli shook her hand. She had passed one stage of her training.

The light flashed and Ziva was in a hospital room, sitting by a bed holding Malachi. He was smiling as she walked in. "I heard you also passed your weapons exam."

"I did." Gibbs wondered why he hadn't seen it, but he really didn't need to. He knew what she could do with a gun and a target.

"You got a perfect score."

"Yes, that is correct."

Malachi smiled again. "You do not need to be so humble. I am impressed, and it is a big accomplishment. Why look so sad?"

"I gave you a concussion. And I broke your hand."

"I broke it last year when I punched a wall too. They heal quickly. It was a good fight and you are limping and wincing every time you move, so you did not exactly get away free either. Like I said, we had a good run of it. I knew half way in that you would win, but I still tried."

"Either of us could have won."

"You know, I am not being trained to be an assassin." He changed the subject rather abruptly, but Ziva went with it. "No?"

"They want me to be a commanding officer one day, with rank and maybe a team of my own. But you will never have rank or have people who report and listen to you. You will just assassinate solo and serve on various teams. Are you bothered by it?"

Ziva sat down on the edge of the bed, looking like she was thinking hard about the question. "I am good at what they want me to do, so I will do it. But no, authority was never something I craved. I can have respect based on character and not job title."

Malachi looked impressed by her answer. "You are a strange child, Ziva David."

Her eyes flashed and she stood up. "I am not a child."

"No, I guess you are not." They stared at each other, their eyes communicating more than words ever could, and she sat back down. Gibbs knew that this was the moment they became friends.

That's it! Almost to the exciting stuff now.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello Everyone! Before I start I should say that I am a Protestant Christian, and I will have to admit that I know nothing about Judaism. I will try my hardest with the Wikipedia research for the chapter, but I will likely gloss over the technical stuff to avoid making major mistakes. Just keep that in mind.

Previously…Malachi and Ziva became friends

The light flashed as the picture of Ziva sitting next to Malachi's bed faded away. The next thing he saw was Eli and Ziva sitting at the table in the home Eli had been staying in since the Orli incident. It was night, and only a few candles lit the darkened room. She was reciting something in a beautiful sing song voice, and his "I can understand tons of languages in this dream world" sense told him that it was verses from the book of Psalms. That sense also let him know that she made a mistake.

"No, Ziva!" Eli slammed his hand down. "You cannot keep missing words. Your bat mitzvah is tomorrow, and you cannot make a mistake in front of your guests. Try again."

Ziva was playing with her shirt, and Eli looked annoyed. "What is wrong?"

"What if I make a mistake in front of everyone?"

"You cannot. Ziva, you passed every test to become a Mossad officer. This is the only thing remaining in your way, and if you mess up the reading people are going to wonder if you are ready to be an adult. You saw the guest list. Every important member of the Mossad will be there to see for themselves if Ziva David is everything she is made out to be. I cannot offer you any encouragement other than the fact that you have to succeed. If you are too nervous to recite a passage how will you handle killing a man? Use some sense."

"I wish Ima could be there to see me. More than that I wish she would be there to see Tali when she is 12 and has a bat mitzvah."

"You will be there."

"But what if I am not? That is two years from now. What if I am killed before the day happens?"

Gibbs honestly thought Eli was going to slap her. Anger flared in his eyes, and his hands clenched into fists. For once, he understood the action of Eli David in regards to Ziva. "You will not speak like that."

"Like what? You told me all the time that I had to be willing to die for Israel. It could happen in the next two years. It could happen on my first mission. I am prepared for my life ending early on, and you have to be too."

Eli was stunned by her convictions. He didn't respond right away, and when he did, he sounded defeated. "I know that there is a chance that you will….that you will die before I do. But I am not prepared for that to happen. I want my children to be at my funeral, not the other way around."

"I am sorry. It is just scary that I am going to grow up tomorrow…that for the next six years I will be seeing the world and protecting Israel with the Mossad…."

Gibbs was confused at what she meant by "the next six years" and Eli seemed to be as well. "What is in six years?"

"Military service."

Gibbs thought about what he knew of military service in Israel. It was supposed to be mandatory for everyone but people got out of it all the time, and it usually lasted only a short time. He wasn't sure of that. He knew that Ziva eventually did serve in the Israeli army, so he wondered why Eli looked heated again.

"Obviously I will excuse you from it."

"But it is my duty…"

"Your duty will be much more fulfilled in Mossad. Do not speak of this now. I have your gift now, so you can have it tomorrow. Your Ima and I discussed what we would give you and Tali for your bat mitzvah's, and this was her idea." He pulled out a box.

Gibbs knew what it was. Ziva opened it, and there was a Star of David necklace nestled in the fabric.

Mercy walked into the room. "You recognize it?"

"Yes, it was the one she wore until Somalia."

Mercy only smiled. "You sure about that?"

Gibbs wasn't sure what she meant. Seeing his confusion, she laughed. "You will see in time, Jethro. Let's go to tomorrow shall we?"

Gibbs never had a chance to reply, and the light flashed. The room was packed, and beautiful, but it wasn't in a synagogue like he expected. Mercy had an explanation. "It is not accepted for a woman to read inside a synagogue. Their bat mitzvah's are held elsewhere to remedy it."

Ziva was reading the same passage as before, but this time she read it perfectly, her voice chanting in a clear, lovely tone. As soon as she finished, Eli smiled, obvious relief on his face. She hadn't made a fool of herself. In the candlelight, her Star of David necklace shone. It had to be the same necklace she wore when she met him.

He watched Ziva open gifts from the people present, and after the party ended, he watched Eli David pull her aside from the cleaning crews and walk outside with her. Naturally, he followed. They sat on a stone wall on the busy Tel Aviv street, and Gibbs sat with them, close to Ziva, feeling protective of this 12 year old version of her.

"I have another gift for you, my daughter."

"Another? Abba, what is it?"

"Your first mission."

Ziva was stunned silent, and Gibbs wanted to shake the man, and inside he was screaming, "No, no, I can't start watching this."

"What is it?"

"Nothing difficult. We needed a sniper to take care of a man who has been causing trouble for Mossad. I will give you the location and time. One of our operatives will lure him out, and you will finish the job. Easy as it can get."

"What did he do?"

"That is not for you to know."

"I thought Ari was your best sniper."

"He is not as good as a shot as you. Besides, it is difficult for a grown man to get to the place the hit will happen. You will blend in better, and your rifle will be hidden in a cart you can push. You will wipe it down and leave it there. They will know it was Mossad who carried out the hit, but nothing will ever be able to tie back to you. Do you understand?"

"Yes. When will I do this?"

"Why not tomorrow?"

Gibbs watched Ziva, the next day, walk through the square of Jerusalem in a flowing dress, a covering on her head, looking Muslim and blending into the market easily as she pushed her cart of goods, selling some to passerby to look the part. He followed as she expertly ducked into the correct building, still part of the marketplace, and push her cart further in. At the last moment, she stopped moving, pulled out her sniper rifle and darted up a flight of stairs, leaving her cart at the bottom of the stairs. She ran up three flights, positioned herself, and waited.

Gibbs sat next to her, looking around with his sniper eyes. This was the perfect location to see a large part of the square. Ziva glanced at her watch, and shifted, obviously nervous at the time delay.

Gibbs didn't know who the target was, but it was soon plain when she tensed and followed a man who strolled through the square with her eyes. He looked harmless enough, but Ziva rested her finger on the trigger. He kept looking around, and stayed in the crowd. He knew he was being trailed, and he figured that no shot was possible with so many civilians around. He didn't know Ziva.

She fired, fast and sure, and the man fell. People were screaming and running for cover, and Ziva didn't seem fazed. She wiped down the gun, unloaded it, and left it on the roof. She moved down the stairs quickly, where she jumped into the hysterical crowd easily, and just in time for police to come barreling in and run up the stairs. Outside, she stepped over the body of the man she had killed without a second glance. Gibbs couldn't help the dread he was feeling. It couldn't be that easy for her. He knew it wasn't. He knew she would have a meltdown regarding the people she killed for her father, and he wasn't looking forward to seeing it.

There we go! That's it for now, and I am so excited that we are into the exciting parts of the story. I hope to have the next addition up soon.


	9. Chapter 9

You are not going crazy! I am here with a new chapter! Sorry about the delay, but I was super busy at work the last few weeks (becoming a zip line tour guide). Now I hope to continue this story in a timely manner once again.

This is chapter 9. If you forgot, the last chapter ended with Ziva killing her first target via sniper rifle.

Gibbs watched as Ziva was picked up by a Mossad agent in a discreet vehicle, and she was swiftly whisked away from the scene. As this happened, a light flashed and Ziva was in another vehicle, dressed in black, her hair tied tightly back under some type of bandana. A silent Mossad officer was driving the vehicle, and Hadar was sitting with her. They were speaking in Hebrew, which made Gibbs smile. He loved hearing her speak her native tongue, especially now that he could understand it.

"You will be ready for this, Ziva. You have been successful in all five targets you have been assigned. This is no different."

"It is different. This is….it is different."

Gibbs was intrigued. Why was today any different?

"You have brought down every opponent you have faced in the last two years. The man you will eliminate today will be nowhere near as skilled. Do not worry anymore."

Gibbs understood. This was a close hit. This was killing someone face to face, something he knew she did countless times after this date, but she must have still been 12, and that was too young to see the face of the man she would kill.

"Ziva."

She whipped her head up, and met eyes with Amit Hadar.

"Do not fail."

"I will not." At that, Hadar threw the door open and Ziva jumped out. Gibbs rushed to follow her outside into the crowd. They were not in Tel Aviv. They were in Jerusalem.

Mercy was with him suddenly, and he was glad for some answers. "Who is the target?"

"He is a top Palestinian businessman. He himself did not do anything to anger Mossad or Eli David, or the Israeli government."

"Then why in the world does Ziva have to kill him?"

"His brother is one of the highest ranking officials in Palestine. He is an enemy of Mossad, and they want to teach him a lesson."

"Why not kill the man himself?"

"That would cause huge waves. They do in fact kill him later, but it is by someone much more experienced than Ziva and it is done by sniper. This killing is supposed to make a point. Ziva was sent to make that point. Just wait and see."

Ziva moved through the square quickly. She didn't carry any weapons, he realized, feeling his stomach churn. She was supposed to kill him with her bare hands. That was how the message would be. However, she did wear the Star of David necklace around her neck. She looked like a miniature version of her future self.

She slipped into a mosque and hid from a group of men walking past. One hand played with the necklace and the other was tightly curled into a fist. As soon as the coast was clear she ducked into the back room, where a sole man was preparing for prayer. Their eyes met and he understood. He tried to run, and Ziva leapt on his back.

There was a struggle. The thick walls of the mosque hid the noises coming from the fight, and no one came to the aid of the man. Ziva was too fast. Punch after punch hit him, and he doubled over, in pain and shock.

"Please…." Ziva froze, and the man looked at her. "Please…do not kill me. I have done nothing."

"You have done something, or I would not have to kill you."

"What have I done?"

He and Gibbs waited for Ziva to reply, and both were surprised when she stayed silent. It hit Gibbs first. She didn't know. She didn't know why she had kill him. She had been given the order with no explanation at all. The targeted man realized a few seconds later.

"They did not even tell you? Why do you think that is? They did not tell you because I have done nothing to them."

"You lie." Her words were poison and she lashed out faster than either man expected. She jumped up, wrapped her legs around his neck and dragged him to the ground. Two hands wrapped around his throat. His hands went up, trying to fight her, and found her necklace. It was torn from her neck, and she broke his. He lay dead.

Ziva searched the ground desperately for her necklace, but she couldn't find it. Gibbs heard the people coming the same time she did, and she had to run, leaving an innocent man and a Star of David behind.

The light flashed and she was in her home, her father sitting across a desk.

"Hadar said you did well. And that you were asking questions."

"Who was he?"

Eli sighed, rubbing his scalp. "Someone who had to be killed."

"What was his crime?"

Eli didn't answer the question. "Ziva, that is not for you to know."

"I need to know."

"His brother was an enemy. We had to send a message."

Ziva stared at him, shock and horror written all over her features. "He was innocent."

"Ziva, no one is innocent."

"He committed no crime towards us."

"Ziva, he had to die. There is no need to talk about it more. Where is your necklace?"

"It was broken in the struggle. I didn't have time to find the pieces." Her voice showed the shame she felt at the admission, and she seemed to be afraid of his response. Indeed, he did not look happy.

"Well, the mission was done and you came back, so that is more important than a necklace. Even if it was important."

"I don't want to do this."

Now, Eli looked surprised, before annoyance and anger overtook him. "Ziva, we have discussed this. You have to do this. There is no choice."

"I do have a choice. And I don't want to do it."

"Ziva, do not make me do something we will both regret."

"What are you talking about?"

"I have another daughter I could train."

Gibbs felt his stomach drop at the coldhearted statement, and Ziva looked like someone had literaly stabbed her in the back. "Tali does not want this life."

"She will have to have it if you are too selfish to do the work yourself."

Ziva didn't answer, and Eli shrugged. "I will start tomorrow to get her to where you are."

"No!" Ziva was out of the chair, eyes burning. "No."

"No what?"

"I will do it."

"What will you do?"

"Anything. Anything, if you leave her alone. If you let her be normal."

"That is wise of you to say, my dear Ziva."

"Why do you need me? You have countless officers. Why me?"

"You are my daughter. You are good, better than my other officers, and someday I want you to be the new director of Mossad. That is why I need you."

Ziva didn't answer, and Eli waved his hand. "Go. Go to bed. Tali is waiting up for you."

Ziva turned and walked slowly out of the room, and Gibbs followed. Indeed, Tali was awake, the bedside lamp still on. "Why were you yelling?"

"Just a little fight. Nothing important."

"Ziva, I am not a little kid. I know it was about me."

Ziva hugged her tightly. "I know, you are growing up, growing up fast. It was just leverage, him using you so I would agree. You do not need to worry."

"What if he was being serious?"

"Serious about what?"

"What if he makes me train?"

"Tali, he will not. I promise you that. You will be an opera singer. The best one in the world. I will keep that world safe."

"It is not fair that I get everything and you have to give it all up."

"Tali, it is not all bad. I will travel all over the world. I will soon get my high school diploma, years before most people. I will get to help my country and I will have status and power in the Mossad."

"But you will not be able to be a dancer."

"Well, we all have to give up something Tali. Do not be worried for me. I have you, that is all I will ever need. You live for both of us."

"I will try."

"Now, get some rest. I will be back shortly."

"Where are you going?"

"Dancing."

She danced like she was furious at the world. As always, Gibbs was amazed at how good she was, even as the night progressed and tears fell down her face. Gibbs wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and hold her and never let go, but it would be more than 10 years before he even got that chance.

She was suddenly kneeling, and she was praying. He bent forward to listen. She was speaking in Hebrew.

"I promise" she was saying. "I promise, I will remember their names and faces. I will remember the lives I take from this Earth." She finished the prayer and fell to the floor, murmuring names over and over, the people she had already killed, as the light flashed.

Well, there you have it! We have Ziva's first meltdown. You will see a few more of those before the story is over, I promise you that! Please leave a review.


	10. Chapter 10

Alright, here I am. I know, I know two months have gone on….I can't promise anything with college other than the fact that I will finish the story…..the when is the question. But here is a section.

Las time, Ziva had promised to God/herself that she would remember the names and faces of all the people she killed for Mossad. She is unhappy with her actions as an assassin but must continue to keep her sister from the lifestyle. She is roughly 12 years old.

The light flashed and the image of Ziva crying on the floor of her dance studio faded. Gibbs found himself in a plain room with only Mercy with him. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"This is…this is worse than I imagined…All of it. I knew she had a messed up life. I knew she killed people. But not when she was 12 years old. Not when she was too young to tell him no. And I don't know if I want to see anymore."

Mercy stared at him, a soft disappointed look written on her features. "How can you say that, after everything you have seen tonight? Don't you want to see that she came out of it alright?"

"I know she did. I knew her for eight years. I know she was ok."

"I have so much to show you. Her military experience. Her sister's death. Her agreeing to go to NCIS. The impact Ari's death has had on her for the years you knew her. Somalia. You can't understand why she left until you've seen all of it."

"Then why am I here?"

"You're going to see a couple of years go by fast. You will see her getting more skilled and more efficient and deadly every time she kills. You will start to see the monster they created. I just have to warn you."

"Ziva isn't a monster."

"You sure about that?" Before he could answer, she spoke again. "Before you find yourself back in your garage I can promise that you will think she is at least once. And you will feel awful, but you won't be able to justify all her actions. You need to know that going on from here."

The light flashed and Gibbs was watching Ziva's life pass.

Ziva David was 12 years old and running through Iran with a machine gun. She was slitting someone's throat in the middle of a mosque. She was in a fight and winning against the much older man, blood dripping down his face and as he begged for mercy she broke his neck. She was 13 years old.

The sequence slowed down and Ziva David was sitting in a room. A woman sat across from her. It was Orli. "Hello Ziva."

"Hello." She sounded cool and polite, but even at 14 a fire shone behind her words, making her look dangerous and ready to pounce. She didn't seem happy to be there. He could understand why.

"Do you know why I brought you here?"

"No. I asked you a dozen times." Her voice was a mix between aggravated adult Ziva when she was annoyed with Tony and whiny teenage girl, which was fitting, given the half and half life she was living between adult and child.

"You are a good operative. One of the best."

"I know. People tell me."

"We want you for more."

"More missions?"

"Different kinds. You are a skilled assassin. However, you have skills we are not utilizing. Language, acting, charm."

"Am I trying out for a play?" Sarcasm dripped from her words.

"No. We want you to perform more undercover operations. We think we could really use you."

"Whatever you need. Why are you telling me?"

"Your father thought a woman would be best to talk this over, Ziva."

"What are you talking about?"

"You got your period a few weeks ago didn't you?"

"Yes." Ziva blushed at her question. "Why…"

"You are a woman now. And you must act like one. You are attractive. A good dancer. Charming. You are physically fit. You will use your sex appeal on undercover assignments. Men will do anything for a pretty girl and a blow job."

Ziva was leaning away from the table, her expression mirroring a deer in the headlights. "That isn't like….that isn't anything I want to do. I don't know anything about sex, or boys, or anything!"

"Oh, honey." Her voice dripped with fake sugar. "Sex is a viable interrogation technique, as much as anything violent those boys teach you. You will keep track of your figure as you enter adulthood. We won't be able to help it if your face doesn't cooperate but at least a good body can attract men in the dark."

"I'll probably look like my mother when I grow up and she was beautiful so I should be fine."

Gibbs wanted to cheer for the comment, and the look that Orli gave her was enough was enough to know that she impacted by it. "We will teach you the things you need to know."

"How do you teach that? Do you have a diagram?" She was trying to hold back laughter. Gibbs wasn't laughing. Gibbs understood exactly how they planned to teach her. And before Orli answered her question, Ziva too understood. And froze.

"No. Who is… No."

"Yes, dear Ziva, yes. In the next room over. Someone is waiting for you."

"Who is it?"

"No one you need to know. He is doing his job. You will be blindfolded. This is just a test to see how you do. Later will be the lessons."

"I want to speak to my father."

"He ordered this, Ziva. Do now fight it. Please."

Gibbs expected her to fight some more, but she didn't. And at 14 years old, he watched her be raped by a 20 something Mossad agent. He stood with his back to the process and hoped that the scene would change but he had to listen to her scream in fear and pain.

When the deed was done, the man left and Orli handed Ziva her clothes. "Next time will not hurt so much. You will not be blindfolded and you will learn to make a man happy. I'll let you have three days to recover. I will see you Friday."

Alright, I know this was poor but I'm tired and its late and I really want to have a big scene in the next chapter that I hope to write tomorrow or Friday when I have more time.


	11. Chapter 11

Hi! I know, this update actually came in a timely manner. I hope you like it!

Previously: Gibbs saw Ziva being raped by a Mossad man to train her

Ziva was wearing a tight dress. Gibbs watched a woman apply heavy makeup to her face, each stroke of the brush making her look older and older. When she was done, Ziva looked like an adult, but not like the adult Ziva he knew and loved. The teenager nervously checked her appearance in the mirror as Eli David walked in.

"Ziva." She turned to face him, and Gibbs was honestly surprised when she smiled at him. "How do I look?" She spun, making her dress float up and slowly come back down. Eli smiled at her. "You look absolutely stunning. Are you ready?"

"Yes. I practiced my Italian all week. Are you sure I look the part?"

"Ziva, with your skin tone you could be ant ethnicity we needed you to be. And I know your Italian is as perfect as every other language you speak. And he will be seeing a pretty girl, so you wouldn't even have to be perfect."

"Are you here to brief me?"

"No, Hadar will take care of that in the car. I have a present for you." HE handed her a bag. "Really, it isn't a gift. You earned it."

Gibbs leaned in to see what it was, and was surprised to see what looked like a high school diploma. She was only 14 and he hadn't seen much normal school in the flashbacks. Thankfully, Mercy walked into the room to give an explanation. "She has been covering a normal high school education through private study and a private teacher. She finished the course work several days ago."

"Wow." He smiled, feeling proud. "I never knew she graduated early." His face darkened. "I never knew a lot of things."

He was shaken from his thoughts as Ziva hugged her father. "Thank you for bringing it to me. Is Hadar ready with the car?"

"He is outside." His expression got serious. "Tell me."

Ziva sighed, exasperated. "I have no weapon. I am a weapon. I will do whatever it takes for him to let his guard down. I will kill him. I will erase all evidence of my presence, and I will make my way to the rendezvous point where Hadar will be waiting."

"Good girl. Be safe."

Ziva stepped into the car, where Hadar and several armed men were waiting. "Hello Ziva. Are you ready?"

"I am. My father mentioned a few things already."

"Do you any weapons?"

"Of course not." Gibbs watched Hadar's facial expression, and wasn't surprised to see displeasure. He didn't like what she was doing. He didn't agree with it. That much, Gibbs could tell immediately.

"Who are you?"

"Allegra."

"Where are you from?"

"Milan, Italia. And I am in Israel on vacation by the sea. I am 20 years old."

Hadar smiled, but it was strained. "You know what to do. I don't need to ask any more questions. Do you have any for me?"

"Only the one you cannot answer." The smile she had been wearing since she had gotten her diploma went away. "What did he do?"

"Ziva…"

"I know, I am sorry. Can I ask something else this time?"

"What is it, my dear?"

"Why do we have to do this this way? Why can't I just kill him like anybody else?"

"He is heavily guarded and watched by his men. The only time he is alone is when he is with a girl. And you are his type. He likes Italian girls, he likes young girls, and even if you are Isralei and too young even for him, you look like exactly what he wants."

"I hope I do well."

"You have to. Or they will kill you. Please be safe Ziva."

"I will try." With that, she stepped out of the car and was alone on the street. Gibbs walked after her, realizing something that might be significant. Hadar spoke in Hebrew to her, when Eli David did not. And Hadar seemed to actually care about her as a person. He thought back to the interactions he had seen between Hadar and Ziva at NCIS and tried to place that same relationship. He didn't think he had ever noticed anything but slight respect and slight hostility between the two, but maybe he had been wrong.

Ziva was walking into the club, her appearance making the bouncer let her in without a word. Gibbs ran after, not liking what she was walking into one bit. All the men in the club seemed to. Before too long, Ziva's Italian and her fake accented English had every man in the room looking in her direction. A huge man was leaning down and whispering something in her ear and taking her back away from the crowd. Gibbs ran to catch up.

She was led into a private room, where a man was sitting, two girls naked and draped over him. The man looked up at her, and shoved the other two away. He stood, and walked around her, slowly, studying her. Gibbs wanted to punch him in the face.

"Who are you?"

"Allegra."

"You are from Italia?"

"I am from Milan."

"Tell me something dirty in Italian."

Ziva smiled, and Gibbs felt a chill run down his spine. She would have to do it. His guards were still there. She would have to buy time, and she had only one way to do it. Slowly, she let her dress fall, and stepped closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered slowly, in perfect Italian, words that Gibbs didn't want to think about any 14 year old knowing about. Obviously there was much to her training in that area that he was lucky enough not to have seen. He wanted to leave. When the man took off her bra he looked away and was forced to only listen as she had sex with him.

"Leave us" he shot at his guards as they finished for the first time. "We will be here a while."

They nodded and left the room. Ziva smiled, a small smile. She was more than ready to get on with it, Gibbs realized. Obviously.

It happened fast. She wrapped her legs around his neck and broke it without much prelude or flair. She just got the job done. After he fell, she pulled her dress back on, wiped down the room, and grabbed her high heels. Gibbs assumed there were no security cameras, at least not for her to worry about. She ran out the back door, opened a window, climbed down, and ran down the back alley of the club. A block away, a different car pulled up to the curve and she jumped in, where Hadar was waiting.

"Is it done?"

"It is done."

"You did well. Perhaps you will soon be allowed to complete mission to gather information for Mossad well."

"I do not know how I would do if I did not just kill the person."

Hadar smiled sadly. "I know, Ziva. We could teach you how to help your country in a different way. If you wanted."

"He would not want it. So I will stay where I am."

He nodded, tensely. "So you will."

"Officer David! You are needed in the war room."

Gibbs was stunned by the sudden change in scenery. Ziva looked like she had in the last montage, only without the makeup and fancy clothes. The man who had summoned her was not familiar to him. Ziva walked briskly after him, down three stories into the ground, where they were let into a room that looked like MTAC. The room was filled with people he knew. He saw Bodnar, Malchi, Hadar, and Eli David, along with two men he didn't know. The man who had gotten Ziva did not follow her into the room.

"What am I needed for director?"

"There is a situation in Syria. Sit."

The conversation flew fast back and forth between the people in the room. Gibbs was confused at why they were switching from Hebrew to English and using both, but he guessed that they were used to using English to discuss business and only slipped into their birth tongue in high stress instances like this. He got the gist of what was happening pretty easily. In Syria, there was a man who was threatening Mossad officers and operations. Apparently, 10 officers had already gone missing, along with numerous agents from The United States. Gibbs suddenly knew. He knew the target and the situation. It must be the fall of 1996. He knew what happened too. The terrorist had been mysteriously wiped off the map, and at least 15 marines and American intelligence officers had been released. Everyone had guessed Mossad for the operation. They had been right.

"Officer Ben-Gidon will be the team leader. He will take the three best officers we have for this mission, the three of you. You leave in an hour."

Ziva looked a little stunned, and ran after Malachi. "Why am I going?"

"I picked you. No one is very happy about it. They think you are too young. But you are one of their best, so they should not too unhappy with my choice."

Gibbs was sick. She was too young. He knew what the team of Mossad agents did to the camp. They murdered every person there. 90 terrorists had been found dead in the wreckage, and none had escaped. A light flashed, and he was at the entrance to the camp, following the team of Mossad, machine guns raised. He didn't watch. He sat by the door, listening to screams and gunfire and then saw the team reappear, looking a little worse for wear. One man had been shot in the shoulder, and a dirty looking cloth had been wrapped around it. The rest were covered in the blood of the people they had just killed. He saw people stumble out of the back rooms wearing the remains of uniforms. The prisoners they had freed, all looking like Ziva had when they got her from Somalia. The light flashed as they were picked up by a truck, and Gibbs realized what the nagging feeling at the back of his mind had been. _Somalia._

This was Somalia. Yes, it was a different country and another terrorist and Ziva was younger, but it had been a team of four sent on what many would think was a suicide mission. They had succeeded here with flying colors. It suddenly made since, why Eli had picked Malachi to lead the Somalia mission and why Ziva had went with him. She had done this before. She had done it well. And it scared him.

There you go! A little romance is coming next, so be ready for an update whenever I have time.


	12. Chapter 12

Well, I have gotten a lot of messages lately about people really wanting me to update and I'm in the mood and I have some time on my hands. Here we go.

Previously…Ziva completed her first mission using sex as a technique, and completed a full scale Somalian type mission that went a lot better than Somalia did.

I promised you some romance didn't I? This is where some canon might fail me….I made the liberty of deciding that Ziva knew Michael Rivkin before the events of season six. So if you don't agree with that, sorry, it's for the sake of fiction.

Gibbs found himself in a shooting range, standing next to Ziva. Every time he saw her, she looked more like she did at NCIS. Her shooting skills were just as good here as they were when he knew her. Not one of her bullets had missed the target. The gun she was using wasn't anything to sneeze at either. It looked heavy and cumbersome in the hands of the petite girl. He saw the man coming up behind her, and he froze at the familiar sight. It was Michael Rivkin. In other words, just another of the mysterious Mossad men that he had encountered along the course of the last eight years. He was seeing them all in these flashbacks-Ari, Eli, Bodnar, Malachi, Hadar, and now Rivkin.

"Ziva David?"

She was surprised, but she hardly showed it as she casually finished her clip before she put the weapon down and turned around. "Yes?" She sounded annoyed at the interruption and by the fact that he had snuck up on her. Gibbs didn't blame her in that area-she had been shooting without ear protection, so she probably couldn't hear much of anything at this time.

"My name is Michael Rivkin. I was told to come and find you."

"Who needs me?"

"Me." Ziva rolled her eyes, and he looked embarrassed. "I mean….I was told that you were going to train me in the shooting range. That is what Hadar told me."

"Hadar told you that?"

"Yes. He said you were better than he was so it made sense that you would show me. I am his new officer. He recruited me out of the armed forces." Rivkin had a hint of pride in his tone, and Ziva rolled her eyes again. "You keep bragging about that. Here, no one cares where you came from or how you got here. It's about what you do here."

"What about you, Ziva David?"

"What about me?"

"How did you get here? Are you as good as they say, or is that just a publicity stunt for the other officers so they feel inferior?"

Ziva stared him in the eyes, and Gibbs could feel all kinds of tension rolling between them. Without taking her eyes off him, she pressed the button on the side of her shooting cubby and the target came towards them. She ripped the paper off and handed it to him. "What do you think?"

Gibbs smiled at the way Rivkin's eyes widened. He was impressed. However, he hid it well. "So what? You can shoot good. Can you actually do anything else?"

"I obviously know English better than you do."

"What are you talking about?"

"It is "You can shoot well", not "You can shoot good"".

"No one cares about that. People in America do not even speak correctly. They sound nothing like us when they speak their native tongue."

Her eyes lit up without her wanting them to. "You know this? You have gone to America?"

"I went last year with family. The people have all these strange things they say, words that make no sense. Idioms, they are called."

"You are lucky to have been there. What did you see?"

"I saw their capitol. Washington D.C. It was beautiful. So many trees, and green grass, more than we get to see."

"Did they treat you well?"

"As well as I could have expected. I look like what they are afraid of. So do you. They do not know who is from Afghanistan, or Iran, or Israel. To them, we are all the same. Dark skin scares them."

"I want to see. I want to see Washington, and New York City, and Florida, and California, and everything there. I do not get to see many places."

"Are you kidding? You travel all the time, I bet! On all your missions."

"Sure." Slight bitterness filled her tone. "I have seen Afghanistan, and Syria, and Iran, and Iraq. I have seen the worst parts of any country you could name anywhere near us. But I have never seen the pretty parts, the good parts of anything. I go in and kill and then I come home."

Rivkin studied her. "How old are you?"

"15."

"You are young, and you will see more of the world. When you can choose your own path you can travel anywhere you want! I want to see everything too. I am only 18. I do have all the time in the world. I plan on being a grandfather, dying with white hair and lots of grandchildren crying over me. Until that time comes, I am here for an adventure."

They stared at each other a few more seconds, and Ziva shook her head. "I got way off track….we should start some training…."

"Do you want to grab dinner later?"

She froze. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Sure, why not."

"They will never allow it."

"Than do not tell them."

Gibbs watched, slightly amused at the look on her face. He wasn't the least but surprised when she smiled. "Sure. Just this one time."

There you go! I know, short, but this was just a reward for being so kind to me.


	13. Chapter 13

Hello Everyone! I'm here and ready to write another chapter for you. Previously…Ziva met Michael Rivkin, who asked her on a date.

Gibbs expected to see the first date that they had agreed to go on, but soon he saw that that wasn't the case. The next thing he saw was Michael and Ziva, but they seemed very familiar with each other. He watched them run down the sidewalk outside a row of shops in Tel Aviv, laughing and red in the face.

"Do you think he saw us?"

"I do not think so." Gibbs was curious on who they meant, but luckily they told him. "Why do we have to hide from Malachi?"

Ziva rolled her eyes at the question. "Use some common sense. He wants you on his team, and he also wants me. If he knew we were…you know, he would not put us together."

"And what are we, Ziva? Are we dating?"

She looked at her feet and Michael sighed heavily. "What is the big deal? We aren't getting married. We both know we wouldn't sacrifice any of our ideals or missions for each other. We hardly know each other. They should let you be a teenager."

"Malachi would act strangely if we were together….you know how he is."

"Yes, Ziva, Malachi would be jealous, but that shouldn't stop you. I'm tired of this sneaking around business. I want you to be proud to show me off."

"Michael, it had nothing to do with him being jealous. Malachi is 22 years old. I am entirely too young for him."

"Doesn't mean he doesn't like you."

"Michael…"

"Sorry, sorry. But I like you, Ziva. I wish everyone would know. But you do not want people to know, so I will stay quiet. For you. For now."

The light flashed. Time seemed to be moving fast, all of a sudden. Gibbs saw a flurry of missions, like he was watching in fast forward, of Malachi and Michael and Ziva, and flashes of Ziva kissing Michael, and the two of them fighting, and going out somewhere again. Time slowed down as he watched Eli David announce to a room of Mossad officers that Ziva had received her high school diploma at age 15 and the room clapping, and Hadar hugging her and Michael kissing her behind a curtain, away from prying eyes.

His visons went back to normal speed and time as he watched Michael Rivkin pop out from behind a corner behind Ziva, meaning to surprise her, and Gibbs chuckled, knowing that this wasn't going to go well for him. Much like he expected, Michael was soon pinned by a very angry Ziva.

"Zivey, it's just me, sorry, calm down." His hands were up in total surrender, and Ziva shook her head angerly at him. "You cannot sneak up on me like that. I could have hurt you."

"I was just trying to surprise you."

"Surprise one of your civilian girls who will giggle and don't possess the capability to kill you very easily and quite by accident."

"Zivey, calm down, it was funny."

Her facial expression wasn't one that was laughing and Michael seemed to realize it. "Look, I wanted to be the first person to wish you a Happy Birthday, that's all."

"Michael, my birthday isn't until tomorrow. Was that really worth risking…"

"Zivey, look. It is tomorrow. It is today, and it is now 12:02 and you're officially 16. Do you feel any different?"

"Older and wiser. I should stop talking to you to prove it."

"Don't be like that. What's wrong with you?"

"I'm tired. I want to go to bed. It is, as you pointed out, 1202 and I have to do a physical fitness test at 0500 hours. I planned to get a couple hours of sleep on one of the couches upstairs."

"Fine, go sleep boring. You can get your gift tomorrow. Give me a kiss at least." The two kissed quickly, and Ziva finally smiled. "I will see you tomorrow."

Gibbs saw Hadar slip into the next hallway, and realized that he had seen the whole exchange. That couldn't be good. He didn't look happy, as he narrowed his eyes and left the room.

The light flashed and Gibbs could guess that it was now later on Ziva's 16th birthday, as he watched her fall to the ground, drenched in sweat, as Malachi cheered. "You just had a new record for female on over half the testing sites. You are scoring higher than 90% of every male officer we have right now on all testing sites. People will talk about this Ziva, and you will again be on the radar of every officer here."

"I feel awful." Ziva did look awful, but she was smiling at the news of her achievement. "That's a pretty good birthday present Malachi, are you sure I got the times you wrote down?"

"You certainly did, I will never have to lie on your evaluations. Now Michael…." He trailed off as he noticed Hadar walking towards them. "Hadar, Ziva just…"

"I have to speak with Ziva. Alone. "

Malachi looked confused but he nodded and moved away to another officer, always the good soldier. Ziva smiled at Hadar, though she looked nervous. "Did something happen?"

"Ziva, I am coming to you as your mentor and friend first, before I have to come to you as your boss. I am showing you courtesy, so I expect you to be honest with me. Can you do that?"

Ziva opened her mouth to speak, and stopped before any sentence came out. She nodded, quick and tense. Hadar went on.

"I saw you last night with Officer Rivkin. I expect that you can come up with some explanation as to why you're with him, but I know how good of a liar you are and I don't want you to lie to me. All I can tell you is to stop now, before I have to tell your father of your poor decision. Is this clear?"

Ziva nodded, but there was fire in her eyes, and both Hadar and Gibbs saw it. "Do you have a problem with that, Officer David?"

"Why is it any concern of you or the director who I spend my free time with?"

Hadar looked at her like someone might look at a small child. "Ziva, I know now that you feel hurt and think that nothing but good could happen from a relationship with your coworker. But, a causal relationship today turns into love tomorrow, and no one needs teammate's who will pick each other over a mission. You cannot afford to love anybody right now, because you are a hormonal teenager. When you are old enough to handle a relationship maturely, you can date outside of Mossad. Do you understand?"

To his surprise, Ziva nodded without argument. In her eyes, he saw resignation. "Are you telling Michael this as well?"

"You can end it yourself Ziva, he will be more willing to listen. Can I trust you to do that?"

"Yes. Yes you can."

The light flashed and Gibbs saw Michael punching a wall, and Ziva trying to stop him. "Michael, stop, you are acting like a child."

"I am? I waited for you Ziva, for almost a year, to stop fooling around and go on a real date with me, or to do to me what you must do so well to all of those men on your missions and now you dump me because Hadar asked you to?"

"He's right. This couldn't end well. For any of us. For no one on our unit. You know that."

"You disgust me, Ziva David. Please hesitate to speak to me again."

The light flashed and Ziva was at a table with her team. They were being briefed by Hadar. Gibbs wasn't sure how long it had been, but the stormy looks that Michael shot Ziva's way didn't indicate much time had passed since the last thing he had seen from her past. He tried to focus on the mission that Hadar was explaining, which involved a museum curator who had used the local museum to hide an operation that stretched across Syria. It was an associate of one of the most famous anti-Semitism groups in the country. The curator had to be eliminated, so the chain of command would be broken. Once again, Gibbs wondered why killing was the first answer they jumped to in situations like these. Obviously they did investigate some cases, and arrest people, because Ziva had known how to help NCIS agents when she first arrived. However, Gibbs was starting to believe that she must have gotten that skill and that knowledge from another source.

"We use a sniper, so when he comes out on the courtyard we can take him out."

"Too risky. There are guards everywhere on that plaza. They would see a sniper in minutes. We need someone inside the compound going undercover."

"Wouldn't security be just as great as a factor?"

"Most of the time, yes. But in three days' time, the museum will be filled with school age girls, who are on a field trip of sorts to the museum and surrounding plaza. The museum will be closed to all other guests in this time, and according to what we found, roughly half of the usual security has the day off."

"So, you want me to sneak in and act like a Syrian school child." Ziva wasn't stupid, and had guessed their motives as soon as Hadar had glanced at her apologetically before the meeting began. "Sure, I'll do it. I'll get to sightsee a little before I kill this time. That's different."

"Officer David, your sarcasm is not received well." Eli didn't look amused, and Hadar shot Ziva another apologetic look, since he had smirked at her comment. Ziva looked only slightly ashamed from the lecture. "I am sorry, director. I will be happy to complete this mission for Mossad."

Gibbs knew her well enough to know that Ziva was still being sassy, and apparently, Eli did too, by the looks he gave her, but the others in the room seemed to buy her act so Eli didn't make any comments. Gibbs was concerned. Ziva went on kill missions every week or more, but Mercy was showing him this scene specifically. Something had to go wrong, or something bad had to happen, and he was scared of what he was going to see.

Ziva was wearing a school uniform after a light flashed, and he saw her strolling through a crowd of girls in similar outfits. Ziva fit in well, moving through the crowd between groups, never looking like she wasn't part of any of them. She had a weapon today, tucked into her school bag. Gibbs followed her, looking at what she was looking at, trying to guess what was going to happen.

It happened soon enough. Ziva slipped away from the main part of the museum and ran through the restricted hallways, ducking into doorways when guards walked down the hallway. However, like Mossad had promised, there were very few. Gibbs was starting to relax. This was a typical mission. She was going to get to the curator's office and kill him.

He heard the voices as soon as Ziva did. She froze, ducked behind a wall, and listened. Gibbs could walk in, and he did. What he saw made his stomach drop. There were seven people in the room. Three were guards, one was the curator, and three were guests. He returned to where Ziva was hiding, and waited for her to leave. She couldn't kill him with that amount of people there. However, Ziva didn't move. Gibbs crouched next to her and tried to work through her current train of thought.

If she waited, there was a huge risk that she would be caught. Even now, there was the chance that security cameras would have caught her in the restricted hallways and send people to kick her out, question where she was from and find out that she wasn't even Syrian and then a big disaster would be on her hands. If she left, she would be punished by Mossad for not finishing the mission, and there was a chance that the curator would cause more problems before they could get to him again. With a sinking sensation, he realized that Ziva had to kill him now. She rewrapped her head and lower face in the scarf, checking her reflection to make sure that nothing was showing. She took a deep breath and dove into the office, firing a single shot at the curator.

It went bad fast. One of the guards had seen her reflection as she was diving in, and was able to push the curator out of the way. Ziva's shot had been perfect, and it embedded into the chest of the guard that had protected him. He fell to the floor, dead immediately, and the room erupted into chaos.

The other two guards ran at her. The people panicked, and screamed, some trying to run, and some were cowering in the corners of the office. Ziva was out of options. She was grabbed by the guards, and she fought, trying to shake both of the grown men off, both full of adrenaline after seeing her kill their friend and coworker. Her scarf was pulled off, revealing her face fully.

Gibbs stood, frozen, knowing what was going to happen. Sure enough, her gun knocked down, she pulled out a hidden knife and stabbed both guards as they started to pull out their own weapons. They fell, blood pooling, as they slowly died, obviously in agony. Ziva wasted no time looking at them. She grabbed her gun again, wildly looking around for the curator. He was running with the three guests. Ziva wasn't in fine form anymore. Her mission was going wrong, very wrong, and she had to finish it, lest she have killed three innocents without actually killing the target.

She yelled at him to stop in his language, and all three of the people did. She leveled the gun at them, her grip shaky for the first time. She looked pained, and Gibbs wasn't sure why, until it hit him.

She had to kill all of them. Her face was exposed. As Eli David's daughter, her face couldn't be out. Normally she went in and out and did her job without being noticed, but now? They would remember her face. She shot the curator first, and he fell, dead. The other three looked scared, and Ziva looked like she was close to tears. "I am sorry." With those words, she shot them.

Gibbs was happy to see the light. He couldn't escape from the awful thing he had seen, however. He was in a room, as Hadar stood by Ziva, defensively, as Eli screamed at her.

"That was a disaster! You caused a national incident in Syria! How could you have been so careless?"

"Director, I had no other choice. I had to try and complete the mission. If I had left, he would have gotten away. And I had to kill the others. That's your rule, not mine. They saw my face."

"You should have never gotten into that situation. You could have hit him on your first shot. Or kept your scarf on. You are an officer of Mossad. You don't get to make excuses."

"I am sorry…"

"I do not want to hear it. Go. Get out of my sight. I have to make sure Syria does not find out you killed seven people. Go and think about what you have done."

Eli left, and Hadar reached for her arm. "Ziva…."

She shook off his hand and ran. Gibbs followed her to the Tel Aviv train, confused at where she was going. Ziva headed off the train, and ran straight to a ballet studio. Gibbs walked in after her, watching her dance, tears flowing down her face, stopping to fall to her knees and pray out loud, begging for forgiveness, and Gibbs watched, his heart heavy. He followed her as she left the studio and return to her home, where she walked past Eli, neither looking at the other, and Ziva went to Tali's bedroom. She threw herself into the bed that Tali slept in. Tali looked up, half asleep. "What is wrong Ziva?"

Ziva started crying again, and Tali sat up. "Ziva, are you hurt?"

"Go back to sleep, sweet Tali. You do not need to know the awful things I have done today."

"Ziva, you can tell me."

"No, I cannot. Because than you too would look at me as the monster that I am."

"You are not a monster."

"Yes, dear Tali. I am."

There you go! Is Ziva a monster? You decide.


	14. Chapter 14

I'm not dead! It's crunch time for me and this week and next will be purgatory so I figured I should get a chapter in before it gets too bad. Hopefully I'll be back before too long but I can't make any promises. Just remember that this story will definitely be completed.

Previously on…..Ziva and Michael Rivkin broke up at Hadar's request and Ziva had to kill six civilians to finish a mission.

Gibbs stumbled out of Tali's bedroom where Ziva had fallen into the bed when she finally got home. Her words echoed through his head. He loved Ziva. He was always ready to defend her when people made comments about her being heartless or emotionless. He listened to what some people at NCIS said about her still, after all these years. One moment stood out in his mind-when Abby herself had called Ziva a warrior and insinuated that she had no feelings. It was after Damon Werth had broken Tony's nose and hurt McGee all at the same time. Abby had come and talked to him later about it, when she was unable to let go of the guilt after she apologized to Ziva. He had assured her that Ziva wasn't angry and that he understood because he didn't like to upset Abby, but he never told anyone that it had bothered him, that even Abby made Ziva into something he was sure she wasn't.

And he was still sure she wasn't. He had seen her emotional. She had cried in front of him when she was trying to get him to remember, and she had sobbed over her father's dead body. She showed that she had feelings numerous times between that, and he had always known that she was just good, sometimes too good, at hiding her feelings. This, however, made him consider for the first time that he didn't know Ziva as well as he thought he did. The Ziva he thought he knew would never shoot inoocent people like she did. Even if her orders were to kill people who had seen her face, he would think that she would disobey them. If there had been a child in that office would she had killed them? He honestly didn't know. Then, a welcome voice interrupted him.

"You must remember, Jethro, that Ziva is only a child herself. She had just turned 16 years old. She is not the Ziva David you met. You met a young woman who was trying to start over after a childhood that most people would see as horrific. She is still in that childhood. She was scared and panicked. I know that this is hard for you to see. But I can assure you that Ziva is upset beyond anything you are feeling right now. Do not hold her a monster for something she did as a teenager."

"I'm not. Making her out as a monster I mean. I know her. She's Ziva. I keep getting so upset over the things I'm seeing but then I remember that all this stuff already happened. That when we got her she had already done all this and came out the Ziva we love. That's the only thing that's keeping me sane. I keep picturing her the first week we knew her, when she flirted with DiNozzo and strut around like she was better than all of us. She was 23 years old and carried herself like a kid and an adult all at the same time. I couldn't get a reading on her. And then she killed her brother and we never looked back."

"But Jethro, she wasn't ok. She wasn't ok when she walked into NCIS and she isn't ok now. She left for a reason, for numerous reasons. When she walked into NCIS she still had a brother that she thought was faultless and she still had a father who hadn't left her in a desert and she hadn't been tortured. You have a lot more to see."

He light flashed and Gibbs again saw a flashing through of missions in Ziva's life. She seemed to be doing better on missions after her botched one. Not only was she completing them, but she was getting in and getting out faster and cleaner than before. Apparently, she had taken her failure to heart. Time slowed down before a particular mission when Hadar was driving her to the drop off location. Gibbs again wondered why he had never noticed how close the two of them were. They had never seemed to interact with each other more than needed.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?"

"I have done much more difficult missions."

"I know. But Sahmir is surrounded by his friends and family. No one will try and stop you, but there is a lot of civilians around. If they see your face…"

"I know the consequences. It will not happen again. I assure you of that."

Hadar smiled. "You have done very well for the past couple of months. I have every faith that you will never have a similar problem like the museum mission. You are in Iran now, and you must be careful because this would cause a bigger incident than Syria did. I know you do not want to hear that, but you must."

"You have no cause to worry. I will be in and out in five minutes."

And she was. Gibbs followed her as she got through at least 30 people with her scarf securely covering her face, and she made her way to a bedroom where Sahmir was lounging with two girls. She jumped onto the bed and fired one shot from her gun, through a pillow to further cut out the noise that was already low due to the silencer on the weapon. The two girls were terrified, and Ziva's eyes grew warm from behind her scarf. "I am not here to hurt you." She was speaking in their tongue and they still looked scared, though much less so. Ziva turned and was out of the window in the next few seconds and she was gone.

"She did well." Gibbs was thinking the same thing that Hadar was telling Eli David. The man nodded. "She is trying very hard to make up for her old mistakes."

"I think she needs a vacation."

Eli chuckled. "Mossad officers do not take vacations."

"She is 16 years old and never gets a real day off. I agreed that it was smart to get her right back in after Syria but she has had a run of perfect missions and I think that it would be a good point for her to rest. She is tired. She has been on missions for the last 12 days without a real night's sleep."

"Your job is not to keep track of her sleep schedule. Your job is to be her handler and that is it. I am her father, I would know if she was pushing herself too hard."

Hadar mumbled something under his breath and Eli's eyebrows narrowed. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"You hardly talk to her. How would you know anything about her?"

"You are on dangerous ground. I would suggest you leave before either of us says something we regret."

Hadar hesitated and must have decided that it was a good idea to listen. He sighed heavily and walked from the room.

"This is big. This is an honor to take up, Ziva."

"I understand."

The scene had changed so quickly that Gibbs was confused. He soon saw that he was back in their war room, with only Eli, Hadar, and Ziva in the room. Hadar looked concerned, which was no surprise, and Eli had a strange look on his face. He looked condescending and aggressive and on edge and stern like always, but there was also a hint of pride on his face.

"You are trained to be the best person for this job. Undercover is what you are made to do Ziva."

"I know. I am ready."

"You will be posing as one of the many homeless teenagers that live in Pakistan. You will have to let go of every Israeli part of you. These people hate us. They recruit homeless teenagers and train them to hate us even more than they do. They work them like slaves. The ones that show promise get selected to go on missions against Israeli police and citizens. This is number one on our list of priorities. No other terrorist group is giving us as much trouble, and you are the only one who can infiltrate this operation. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Now, you will remain in their employ until your mission is completed. When you are undercover you are an island. You are solely responsible for yourself. We will not come after you if you disappear. You will make weekly meetings with various officers so no one ever sees you with the same person twice. All we need is for you to go in and earn their trust. You will tell us of the major attacks. And we will stop them, in ways that they will not see coming. However, you must play a good enough part that they think you are one of them. Once you get to their leader, you will kill him and in the panic we will come in and finish them off."

"How long will it take?"

"As long as it takes. That much is up to you. You are capable of finishing this before your 17th birthday."

Hadar's eyes widened. Gibbs could tell Hadar was as surprised by the remark as he himself was. If he had the timing right, Ziva had only been 16 for roughly three months. Nine months was a long mission. A nine month mission for a 16 year old was crazy. To live as a street kid and have to hide he nationality for nine months was crazy. And there was no guarantee she would finish in that time.

"Director? Surely you would not allow her mission to go on that long."

"It will go on as long as it needs to. These people are escalating. Today it's a car bomb or two; tomorrow it's an attack on a school. We have this on the top of our list because we have our best profilers on them and we know that they are building up."

"I will do it. This is why I am here. I have no other obligations to worry about."

"Hadar says you need a break. If you complete this mission successfully you can have a vacation. I know you want to travel outside the Middle East. If you are successful you can take Tali out of Israel for a week or so to anywhere you choose."

Ziva's face lit up. "When do I leave?"

"You have 48 hours."

Gibbs was sick to the stomach. This couldn't end well.

Thank you! Please leave a review. I might try and get another chapter typed soon and up but like I said, no promises.


	15. Chapter 15

I know, I know this is a shock to all of you. But you are not crazy and I am writing another chapter of my story. It would be great if I could finish this story before 2015 ends, and after that I might move on to other shows or other characters. Once again, I love all of you for supporting this story.

Previously: Ziva was told about a possible 9 month or longer mission to infiltrate a Pakistani terrorist cell. If she succeeds she was promised a vacation with Tali.

The light flashed and the Mossad war room faded away. Gibbs felt a road under him and found himself in the middle of a crowded street. Mercy was walking next to him.

"What's going on?"

"You're in Pakistan. It's been a month since you saw Ziva last."

"Why did you skip so much time? I wanted to see…"

"She lived on the street a couple of weeks and was picked up by a member two weeks ago. She did grunt work for them for the last two weeks, and today is the day it changes. Ziva was told in her briefing that the best way to prove herself was to spark an argument with one of their best kids and beat them up, today is the day she does that."

"Is she doing ok so far?"

"She was happy to finally be noticed by the group. She wasn't allowed to contact anyone until she did, so her father was getting impatient. He sent her a message three days ago that she had to get herself moving soon, so she's been building up to it."

"How?"

"Their best kid is 17 years old, named Zahid. She's been flirting with him and he knows it. However, when he goes to make a move she is going to turn him down. He has a temper and will get aggressive and she'll kick his ass."

Gibbs had to crack a smile. "I get to see that?"

"I knew you would want to. Let's go. Her name is Mahnoor here."

His first thought was that Ziva looked different. She was in somewhat ratty garb, looking identical to every other teen he had passed on the streets. She looked skinnier in the loose clothes, so unlike her typical army pants and t shirts she wore at Mossad that highlighted her muscled frame. However, she looked pretty, just like at Mossad, and he knew from watching her that she could flirt her way into any boy liking her. He noticed that she was starting to look exactly like she did when she came to NCIS. She was growing up.

She was walking quickly, holding a basket of packages close to her arm. She kept glancing behind her discreetly, and Gibbs knew that she was worried that Zahid would catch up with her before they were in a public place where people would see them fight. Soon, however, they were in a crowded courtyard behind a section of dilapidated buildings. This must be their main hub. This was where she finally acted like she saw Zahid.

"Mahnoor! I was trying to get your attention, your basket looked so heavy. Shall I carry it for you?"

"I'm about to drop it off. I can carry it." Gibbs smiled at her acting. She was holding the basket like it was too heavy for her, to give the appearance of being weak.

"My sweet flower, you should not have to do any of the hard work. Let me take your basket." He gently guided it out of her hands and set it on the ground. With both hands, he suddenly wrapped them around Ziva's waist. "I was thinking that we could meet after tonight. In my area."

Ziva froze. "Zahid…"

"I want to see what your figure is beneath all these baggy clothes. I see your curves when you move. I've been waiting patiently for you to let me look."

"Zahind, I'm not sure what you're saying. Surely you are not saying that we…that we share a bed?"

"I know that you are flattered. But I can assure you that you are the only person I want."

"Zahid, I do not want you."

Zahid stepped back like someone had burned him. Gibbs was afraid that she had only managed to hurt his feelings, but he saw the anger soon enough.

"What did you say?" He grabbed her wrists, his voice threatening and beyond angry.

"I said that I do not want you. Now, please allow me to pick up my basket and leave." She turned her back, and Gibbs saw Zahid lose all control. A crowd had gathered when he had yelled, and no one would stop what they and Zahid thought was coming. Zahid was their prince, and in this culture hurting a girl who disrespected you was completely fine. He reached out to grab her shoulder, and anyone who knew a thing about fighting knew that he was planning to spin her around and punch her in the face. His right hand was already forming a fist.

It never got to her face. Zahid was on the ground so fast that even Gibbs felt like he had missed something. The crowd was silent, as shock bounded around the room. Zahid was slowly getting to his feet, dazed, and furious, and he charged after her. Ziva, without any noticeable effort, had him completely unconscious within seconds. The silence continued.

Everyone turned when they heard a slow clap. Gibbs looked at Mercy as an adult stepped out of the crowd. "Who's that?"

"The leader of this particular group of kids."

"So he isn't the one she has to kill?"

"No. But him noticing her is a big step. Shh, listen."

"Who are you?"

"Mahnoor."

"You have hurt Zahid."

"He will live."

"It is true that he will. I am not angry with you. I am impressed."

"You should not be. He was weak."

Murmuring broke out among the people watching. She had called their best, their prince, weak. What would their leader do?

"It was easy for you to beat him."

"It was."

"Mahnoor, I am happy to have met you. I know that we will be working together in the future. Will you walk and talk with me?"

Ziva followed him, Gibbs and Mercy close behind, as the light flashed.

Gibbs was following Ziva alone. She was doing very good at checking for a tail, and soon ducked into a side alley and scurried along to an old bar that he would be nervous to walk into if he wasn't a ghost. At midday, there were few people present, but Ziva soon found who she was looking for. Gibbs could see the surprise on her face. Malachi was sitting on a stool.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hadar thought a familiar face would be a welcome sight for you. We got your message. Everyone is very proud of you. Your father and his top officers were making toasts in the war room."

"I have hardly done anything at all. I have only earned the respect of one person."

"And that one person already told you information that we used to save several of your people. And you said there was more."

"Every two months there are competitions between all of the different sectors, all over Pakistan. Each leader brings their top recruit and there is a bracket to determine who the best is. I will be representing my sector next week, to replace Zahid. He officially had me fight Zahid and several other of his best one on one and I have beaten them all. I am the new hero of the camp."

"When you win, what happens?"

"I will be chosen to complete this huge project they are working on. It is supposed to be the biggest thing they have done. Every person wants to have a part in it."

"This is excellent news. Hadar and your father will be very pleased."

"There are flaws to their plans. Once I expose their biggest mission I will be under suspicion or I will be looked upon as a failure and will no longer be given missions. How do I know if I should expose this mission or wait for one that is possibly bigger?"

"Ziva, as soon as you kill Ali your job will be done. You can do that before you have to do anything with this huge mission they are planning. You could do it even before you have to fight anyone at this competition."

"He will be surrounded. He will not just be sitting there alone. And there are no weapons but knives."

"Ziva, it is your mission and I trust that you can complete it, as Hadar and the director does."

"I am afraid that I will not impress them enough. I am scared that I will fail and that people will die because of me."

"This is easy compared to other targets you have taken out."

"It is not that. I mean that I have been living here only six weeks and I am already feeling what Hadar had warned me of. Being someone else all the time is so tiring and I feel like I cannot even breathe."

"Ziva, you cannot talk this way. Pull yourself together. I will not tell Hadar you are like this. All I know is that if you cannot do it, people will die, because you are all we have."

"I know. And I will not disappoint." Her face had passed from despair to resolve, and Gibbs felt his stomach clench. This mission had to have consequences for Ziva. He was just afraid to see what they were.

There we go! I am feeling on a roll now, maybe I'll have another chapter before this week is over. This wasn't that action packed but I am excited for the next chapter, so review and give me some motivation to write it.


	16. Chapter 16

Hi again! It is only because of impending finals that this is happening at all. I am procrastinating by continuing to write fanfiction. So…..here we are again.

Previously….Ziva was chosen to represent her sector at a fighting competition.

Gibbs saw the old bar fade away to be replaced by a crowded room. The stench was horrendous, and quick glances at everyone around him showed that the room seemed to be packed with people. Everyone he saw was under 30, with the majority closer to 20. They were all in clothes that could best be described as rags. Gibbs pushed through them, glad that he wasn't in a physical body. Everyone was trying to get through to the front.

The middle of the room had an arena, which looked a lot like a boxing ring. Inside were 16 kids. 15 of them were boys, and one was Ziva. She looked tiny standing next to them. Their names were being announced with a sector number. If this mission proved anything, it was that a lot of homeless kids lived in Pakistan. When Ziva's fake name was announced, the room erupted into jeers. Ziva didn't look fazed, to her credit. Only her eyes moved, darting around the room.

It was a simple system. There were eight matches and the eight winners would move on. Ziva was paired with a strong but small kid, who never saw what was coming to him. The fighting style scared Gibbs. There seemed to be no rules. In one round, a particularly brutish man wouldn't stop punching his opponent even when he was down, and the kid was carried off, not looking good at all.

The eight winners were narrowed to four. This opponent looked like he was actually taking Ziva seriously, so it took her a little longer to get him down. She was hit for the first time, leaving a bruise on her jaw line. However, her arm was the one raised after the round. The same could be said for her next round. The two finalists were Ziva and the brute that had left all of his opponents half dead.

There was a break before the finals and Gibbs went through the crowd to find Ziva. He found her alone, with her hands in ice water. She suddenly jumped, and he was startled for a moment. It seemed like she had heard him come in, which was impossible. Soon, he saw the real source of the noise. It was Michael Rivkin.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard from Malachi what you were doing and Hadar assigned me to come in and make sure you got out of it."

"I cannot believe the director would be alright with that."

Michael looked uncomfortable. "He does not know. And since I am young enough to blend in here Hadar figured it would not hurt."

"You cannot be here, talking to me. You have a bad accent. Anyone here with any intelligence could tell you were Israeli." Her voice was hardly loud enough for Gibbs to hear. "I am doing fine. You need to leave now, before someone sees you."

"I miss you. We all do. Everyone is worried about this mission. These people are dangerous. I heard Hadar and the director arguing about it. Even the director is worried about you right now."

"You talking to me is only making it more dangerous. I have to go." She yanked her hands out of the water and walked quickly out of the room.

Gibbs watched her final fight, feeling like he was watching a movie he already knew worked out but that still made him nervous. She took a solid five minutes to beat him, which was probably one of the longest fights he had seen her deal with in the past or future. She was a little worse for wear at the end. Gibbs could tell that both her eyes were probably going to be black and blue, and she was turning her wrist around in her other hand like it was bothering her. But she had won.

Even as a ghost he was having trouble keeping up with Ziva as she was swept along through the crowd, people cheering and chanting her fake name. The people getting her through the crowd got her through a door, leading her up three flights of stairs to a deck overlooking the ring. Sitting there was the man Gibbs assumed was Ali, the man behind the entire operation. Five armed men stood around him. Gibbs and Ziva could both tell rather quickly that killing him here was a death sentence. And that she probably would not succeed anyway, without a weapon.

"He was the champion for more than a year. You fought well. I thought it was a joke when you showed up in my ring."

She didn't answer. He spoke again. "I have a job in mind for you, for the future. It will not be for a long time. Until than I hope to further your skills in the rink. You will no longer live with your sector. You will live where all my soldiers who age out of sectors live. You are the only female I have ever allowed. When the time comes, you will be part of the biggest job we have ever done. It will bring the Mossad to its knees. Are you willing to be part of that?"

"I am honored."

A light flashed and Gibbs was in the Mossad war room. A group of people sat around a table, including Eli, Hadar, and surprisingly, Michael Rivkin. Gibbs took an extra seat the table.

"She is in too deep now. I am worried about what will happen at the end of the mission."

"It has only been eight months. She is doing fine. She has been beyond valuable to us." They froze and Gibbs wasn't surprised to see Mercy sitting next to him. "You skipped me ahead this far?"

"Things got crazy. They sent Ziva a message that she shouldn't just kill Ali. She is supposed to wait it out until the big mission in fear that someone takes his place and puts in into effect anyways. In the meantime she does everything. They actually made her even better at fighting than she already is. Now she knows more non-Mossad tactics. She mostly does robberies so she isn't noticed now, and Mossad lets that happen. She was supposed to plant a bomb in a square and she told them and they set a fire that evacuated the area ahead of time. They planted fake forensics to make it look like she carried through with murdering a group of Mossad agents. Luckily, they have not been using her much in the fear that she will be caught before they use her for their grand finale."

The scene unfroze, and the conversation went on. Eli finished talking, and Hadar jumped in. "I know that we know more about the Pakistan terrorists than we have in years. I know that it is only because of her. But we have to make sure Ziva can get out when she is done with this mission. In two months all of this will be over and I do not think Ziva will be able to hide her role in this."

"I am going to send Michael in when the time comes. He can blend in with the youth and if she needs assistance getting out he will be there to help her."

"So this is what we know so far. The group plans to attack Tel Aviv to send a message to Mossad. On any given day, the marketplace is a prime target. However, the day they plan to attack is when everyone will be shopping for Rosh Hashanah. We are always careful of attacks in the market from our neighbors, but there will be children carrying in bombs that will easily slip under the radar. Ziva has the job of hiding nearby and massacring survivors and Mossad agents who come in to help. The death toll will be at least 10,000 when they are done. The last 50 or so will be because of Ziva, but considering that all of these deaths will be law enforcement, and mostly Mossad due to location of the attack, these deaths are planned to hit us the most. Ziva is going to find out where the bombs will be and alert us. We will remove them well before the designated explosion time. They will think Ziva is hiding and waiting to attack, so it will be easy for her to make her way back to the safe house, kill all of their top operatives, and finish with Ali and make it out."

The light flashed, and Gibbs knew that it was the day.

There we go! Next chapter is the fun stuff I lied before. This is the last update today! Hopefully by Wednesday the good stuff will be ready.


	17. Chapter 17

I am so sorry, I realized a stupid mistake in my previous chapters. I put Pakistan instead of Palestine! Sorry, sorry, I promise that I am not that bad at geography. I am an engineer for crying out loud. But I might go back and fix it in earlier chapters.

Little do any of you know, I'm typing this the same day as my last two chapters but it won't be posted until tomorrow or Wednesday. I hope you enjoy!

Previously…..Ziva is ready to finish her big undercover assignment.

Gibbs's eyes adjusted to the bright Tel Aviv sun. He was in a marketplace, with entirely too many people trying to bargain and trade and buy. He spotted Ziva conversing with a man he didn't know. He got closer to hear.

"You are ready?"

"Of course."

"You will have to be at least back on the next street. There are five different bombs. Once the explosions are done you must move in immediately. Take care of the survivors before Mossad gets here. Once they start to arrive you must hang back and be smart about how you kill them. They are very well trained, these officers. You, however, will have surprise and will not have an emotional response to the situation like they will."

"I will make everyone proud."

"I know you will. Go now. You only have 10 minutes,"

"The explosion is set for noon. I have 60."

"Change of plans. Go, now."

Ziva acted like she left, but snuck back. Things were not going according to plan, not at all. She sprinted to the first location and disarmed the bomb. There wasn't enough time. She was going to fail. Where were her Mossad officers who were to back her up? As she was kneeling over the second bomb, Michael Rivkin ran up behind her. "Ziva, what are you doing?"

"There is a change in plans. The bombs are going off in seven minutes. Where is everyone?"

"Coming. Where do I go?"

"Finish this one I will go to the next." Ziva sprinted away, finding the next bomb in a basket a while away. She disarmed it faster and less carefully than she usually would, but there was no time to be careful, not now. Michael ran to her, followed by Malachi and two other officers. "Ziva, what is going on?"

"There is two more bombs going off in five minutes."

"We do not have time!"

"We do! Split up!"

Malachi and Ziva ran to one of the sites, with Michael taking the others to the last bomb. Malachi was better at bombs than Ziva was, and disarmed it. When the numbers disappeared and the other group affirmed that their bomb was destroyed, Ziva felt a weight lift off of her.

"You are sure that is all?"

"I saw them make five and put five on a truck and send out five kids."

"We must clear the square anyways. Ziva, where are you going?"

"I have to finish the mission. I must stop them all, so they cannot plan anymore missions."

"It is impossible! When the bombs do not go off they will know it was you. You were the only person besides the kids who knew where they were. Your window was supposed to be the gap when they were waiting for the explosions. Now they will see you coming a mile off!" Malachi was yelling, and Ziva wasn't listening. "I have to finish the mission. I will meet the car in the place we planned ahead of time."

She was gone as they all yelled after her. "We need to tell Hadar." Malachi took off away from the square, as the time passed and nothing happened. Now, the Palestinian terrorists knew that someone had disrupted their bombs. And they would know it was Ziva. Away from the square, Hadar had driven the car, and he looked up, surprise on his face when he saw them all running back. "What is going on? What has happened?"

"Change of plans. They only put 10 minutes on the bombs, not 60. Thanks to Ziva and Michael's quick work we got them all disarmed in time."

"So where is Ziva? She cannot go into that compound now, they will be looking for her and waiting for her to come back, by now they know she is a mole."

"She went anyways."

Hadar's face went white. "Get in." He started the car, and as they were jumping in he gunned away from the square.

Gibbs found himself in a car that Ziva was driving. She was going faster than anyone should ever go on a road as curvy as it was. She jumped out with the safe house in sight, creeping in with her high powered gun held close.

Mercy was walking besides him, as they followed her in. "She's scared. She has a bad feeling about this. She thinks that she isn't going to make it out."

"She does."

"Well, in a way."

"What does that mean?"

"Jethro, you must wait and see."

With a sick feeling in his stomach, he followed Ziva. She moved through the compound. She got off three shots in one room before the alarm starting spreading through the building.

"The bombs did not go off! We have been betrayed!"

Ziva stopped moving, and leaned her head against the wall. She had been discovered. Now, she was hopelessly outnumbered. She just had to be the better person one more time.

She crept along a hallway, and discreetly stuck her gun in. There were two men in the room.

"Mahnoor betrayed us. They think she is going to come after the compound now. Can you believe that?"

Before his friend could answer, Ziva had fired two shots, and they fell. She hadn't killed them. They were hardly older than her, and they had been brainwashed since they were children. When they were down, she grabbed their weapons and threw them out the open window. "Is Ali here?"

Neither answered, and she pushed a hand into the bloody knee of the first boy. "Is Ali here?"

"Yes! Yes he is! Please, please stop, stop it please!"

"Where is he?"

"In his office. Oh please, help me."

"You are fine. You will get medical help when my people get here."

"Mahnoor, we were your people. How could you?"

A look of anguish passed her face. It hit Gibbs pretty hard at that moment what this mission had meant for her. She had never had friends her own age. Michael was the closest thing she had had. And for 10 months she had been living with a lot of other kids, and she had just turned 17. No matter how good she was, she would have gotten attached to them in some way. And she didn't like betraying them, these kids who had been brainwashed into hating Israel.

"You are going to be fine. You will have a chance to live again. I promise."

Ziva left the room. She only got part ways down the hall before someone who had to be 15 jumped out at her, attempting to take her down. She flipped him over her head, slamming him to the ground, and hit him over the head. She dragged him into the closest room by his feet and threw his gun out the window. She moved along.

"Mahnoor! Stop, you have to stop! Surely you are not what they are saying you are…." Two other boys were calling after her as she walked along.

She turned as if to talk to them. "I am sorry." She did sound sorry, and they had no time to react as she fired a bullet at each of their left knee caps, and took their guns. "I cannot risk you coming after me. I do not want to hurt you anymore. I just need to find Ali."

Gibbs watched her repeat her actions with numerous other people, wondering when her fellow officers would arrive. She was doing really well, but he knew that something had to go wrong. Would she fail to kill Ali? Would he go on to hurt more people? He was scared to watch, but he had to.

She got to the office and ducked behind a door. Ali was inside, and he was alone. This could be easy. Would it be easy? She stood, gun raised, pointing it at him.

"Do. Not. Move."

Ali froze, surprised. "You have betrayed us."

"I was doing a job."

"For Mossad."

She didn't answer, and he laughed, bitterly. "I should have known. No ordinary street kid is as good as you. But you are alone. And there is a whole building of people here who know that you are one of them. That you pretended to share their faith and their ideals and were lying to them for months." If Gibbs didn't know any better he would say that Ali was close to emotional.

"I built an empire, and I gave all the homeless kids around Palestine a reason to live. I gave them food, and shelter, and everything they needed. You were on the streets when they recruited you. How long did you have to live there? How did you like it? And these kids, these people that call you a friend, did it since they were too young to talk, and now the ones that you haven't killed will have to go back to that, and their little siblings will starve to death. You can kill me, but you will have to live with what you have done to us."

Ziva stepped forward, the gun shaking slightly.

"Go ahead. Shoot me." He was daring her to do it, and it was what he seemed to want. Ziva suddenly shook her head, and bashed the base of the gun against his skull. He went down with a crash, and it seemed to be over. Surely the Mossad officers would be here soon. She threw her gun on the closest table, her hands shaking. She tied Ali to the pipes on the side of the room, facing away from the door. She only turned her back to the door for a moment, but it was a moment too soon.

"Mahnoor."

She whirled around. "Zahid!" The boy that had gotten her into this position was in the door, a gun in her hands. "You are not supposed to be here..."

"I should still be back in the sector, you think? You think I am not good enough to work with you and your other chosen ones? I am, I have always been. You humiliated me. I have been thinking about this moment since the first time you hit me. And here we are." He smirked. "Do not try and go for your gun. If you reach out to get it I will shoot your arm off." Gibbs did not doubt his words.

"Zahid, it is over. Mossad is coming."

"I do not care! I do not care about you and what you have done to Ali. I care about what you did to me."

"Zahid, I only knew you a month."

"I was a laughingstock when you left. I lost my friends, and I lost my standing." He looked close to tears. "You did that. Everything was fine before YOU showed up. I was not Ali's chosen one but I was important to our sector and I helped a lot of kids get off the street. And you took that all from me."

"I am sorry." She looked sorry, and Gibbs knew she was guilty over what she had done to these kids in the course of 10 months. But Zahid did not seem appeased.

"Good Bye Mahnoor." He held the gun out, at her, and Gibbs knew that he was going to shoot her. Ziva seemed to understand as well, so she took the only chance she had, diving at him. The gun went off as the sounds of the Mossad agents echoed through the corridors. He sprinted down the hall, seeing Hadar leading the officers through a sea of injured terrorists. Officers that they must have activated after they realized that Ziva was going in alone were dropping off and dragging the kids to their feet, actually arresting them instead of killing them. Gibbs ran back to the room where the shot had fired.

"Ziva!" He dropped down, alarmed at the pool of blood forming beneath her. She had been shot in the stomach, where Zahid had ended up hitting her after she had dove on him. Zahid would have shot her again, would have finished her off, but Mossad got there first. Malachi and Michael dragged Zahid away, and Hadar fell besides Ziva, whipping his jacket off and pressing it into the wound.

"Ziva!" He snapped his finger in her face, and she opened her eyes. "Hadar….I got them. I did it."

"You did do it. Now, you can just hang out and I will do the rest of the work. Do not forget about that vacation you were promised."

She tried to smile, but seemed to be choking. Panic flew across Hadar's face, and he slid two hands under her. "To the car!"

Gibbs followed them, listening to her terrified teammates as they tried to stop the bleeding. She didn't seem to be in very good shape. He knew she lived, obviously, but it hardly made this easier. She was in so much pain. He could see it, and he hated it. He had never known that she had been shot before. He guessed that she should have known that at some point in her crazy missions that something would go wrong, but seeing it was a different story, especially when she was still just a kid.

He went with them all the way back to Tel Aviv, and by the time they entered the city limits Hadar was doing CPR on Ziva, yelling that she wasn't breathing anymore, and when they got to the hospital there were people waiting for them. He was actually surprised to see Eli David there, yelling in Hebrew.

"Let me through! That is my daughter, let me through! I need to see her, is she alive…" He trailed off into a Hebrew prayer, and Hadar pulled him away.

"We can do nothing for her. She is in their hands now."

There we are! So Ziva was successful but she was shot. What does this mean in the long run? Just wait and see! You will see some fatherly Eli David coming up, but in true fashion of the way I write, it will not be very much.


	18. Chapter 18

Next chapter! I am on a roll now.

Previously…..Ziva was shot after she completed her mission and was taken to the hospital. Eli David seems to be concerned for her well-being. 

Gibbs knew there was no point to follow Ziva's still form into the operating room. They were going to save her. Instead, he followed Hadar and Eli into a waiting room type area. Gibbs hated waiting rooms. How many times had he had to go there and wait for someone he loved to live or die? Visions of people he had lost danced through his mind. He had waited for Ziva in an emergency room only once-when she and Tony were in the car accident. He remembered that night all too well. He had been minding his own business in his basement when he had gotten the call that scared him more than anything had in a long time. He had known nothing about their condition or even if they were going to live until he got to the hospital and waited for the worst 10 minutes he could recall. He had thought of waiting for Jackie Vance, and he had known that if either of them had suffered the same fate he would probably be going back to Mexico as soon as he killed Bodnar with his bare hands. But they had been fine, and life had went on.

Gibbs shook his head, getting back to the issue at hand. Ziva was in surgery, and members of Mossad seemed to be gathering. Eli and Hadar sat alone, and soon Ilan Bodnar joined the other officers waiting. "Is the director doing alright?" The question was posed to the whole group, and Michael Rivkin was the one who answered first. "He was not the one who was shot, was he?"

They all settled into silence and Gibbs walked over to Hadar and Eli to see what they were saying.

"I should have listened to you, my friend. I never dreamed….."

"You thought she was bulletproof. We all did."

"Was I wrong to send her on this mission?"

Hadar didn't answer right away, and when he did, Gibbs heard the answer that he had been expecting. "No, I do not think so. If she had not gone, a lot of people would be dead. She stopped them all. There was no one else we could have sent in to do the job. You had to. I was scared for her, and I wish there had been another way, but she is an officer and she did what officers do."

"I could have sent in Rivkin. He is also young enough to be inducted into their organization. But he was 19, not 16, and he was not my child. Why did I not send him? Was I making a point?"

"Rivkin is a skilled officer and will be an asset to Mossad for the rest of his life. But he is not Ziva. He would have struggled to get to the place she did in the organization. Another boy who can fight like all boys fight is good, but Ziva stood out. She was something completely different and she fights with more skill than Rivkin does. She was the only option."

"And what if I just killed my child?"

"Ziva will live. She is too young to die. She is too stubborn. You cannot blame anyone but the boy who pulled the trigger."

"Where is he?"

"He is in custody, like the others we took from the compound. We threatened Ali and in return for sparing the lives of his people, he gave up the locations of the hideouts of all his sector leaders. We have their top people in custody, and the rest are just scared kids, they will go back out on the streets."

"Why were they not dead? The people in the compound? Why did Ziva only wound them?"

"I do not know. You will have to ask her."

They settled into silence and Gibbs sat next to them, reflecting. Eli David and Amit Hadar had been speaking in Hebrew since Ziva had been shot. Hadar had not said a word in any other language since he first saw that she had been shot. When Eli had been trying to get through the paramedics to see her, he had been yelling in Hebrew. There had to be some significance, that they all acted like it was beneath them as Mossad operatives to speak in Hebrew but as soon as they lost their cool it was the only language they seemed to know.

When the doctor came out and told them that Ziva was expected to live, Gibbs watched the reactions of all of the Mossad agents. Michael and Malachi smiled, took a deep breath, and whispered prayers. Hadar and Eli were already up and asking more detailed questions, wanting recovery time and long term damage. Gibbs, however, looked right at Ilan Bodnar. He didn't look like the others. He wasn't smiling. Instead, he almost looked…disappointed. Gibbs hated him.

Gibbs followed Eli into Ziva's room. She looked younger than ever in the bed, and the pain she was in was evident all over her face. "Abba." The smile that appeared when she saw that he had come to see her was both heartwarming and sad, that she should be surprised that he was there.

"Is everything well? Did you get everyone? Ali was tied up..."

"Everything is taken care of. You are a hero today in Mossad. You brought down the entire organization. I am just sad that you were not there to witness the clean-up."

"How long was I in surgery?"

"You were brought in about five hours ago." Gibbs was impressed that they had gotten a confession, got information, and found and arrested all of those people and wrapped up the whole operation in five hours. The Mossad were very efficient.

"Where is Hadar?"

"He is outside. He is waiting eagerly to see you. He was very concerned. You scared all of us. I hope that it does not happen again."

Gibbs thought that he detected a warning in the words, and Ziva heard it too, and looked crestfallen. Eli was obviously feeling soft, so he went on to explain further. "I have aged 10 years in five hours. I cannot watch that again. You almost died. If Hadar and the team had not been moments away you would have died. Please…I cannot see my children die."

Gibbs felt an unexpected flash of pity. Eli David would see two of this three children die. That pity was soon gone at Eli's next words. "What were you thinking?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were basically going on a suicide mission to that compound. I am proud of you for wanting to complete your mission enough to risk your life. But with all that risk you had already, you thought it was a good idea to turn soft and let every single one of them live?"

"I did it without killing them."

"But maybe next time one of them gets back up and jeopardizes the mission. Killing is the only way to be sure. You have never failed in that way before. Why did you waste time letting them live?"

"I was not thinking clearly, I guess."

"Ziva, you took out about 20 people alone. You had to have been thinking clearly. Why did you not kill them?"

"I did not have to."

"You do not HAVE to kill anybody on most missions but you still do because it is faster and cleaner and surer. So why did you let them all live?"

"I knew Ali could give you information so I left him live."

"I am not talking about Ali. It was a good decision to let him live. I am talking about the others."

"They were children, they did not deserve to die."

Eli looked stony. "They were enemies of Israel. They have supported a man who killed us, they themselves might have killed us."

"They were brainwashed. I did not think they should die."

"You do not ask those questions."

"Someone has to!" Her last sentence had been in Hebrew, her rage boiling over. Eli, however, stayed quiet, which Gibbs thought made him more dangerous.

"You liked them."

"That is not…"

"You liked them." The realization dawned on his face, and he did not look happy. "You were fond of them, so you let them live."

"Abba..."

"You were fond of them, fond of enemies of Israel, fond of people who have killed our people, fond enough to let them live and jeopardize the mission?"

"Abba…."

"You liked them. You did not kill them because you liked them."

"So what if I did? I lived with them for almost a year. They were people my age and I saw similarities between us. I know they did bad things but…"

"Similarities?" His voice was lower and more deadly than Gibbs had ever heard him use. Ziva had to realize the territory she was treading on was dangerous, but she plowed on.

"Like them I was trained from the time I could remember to fight for a group of people that they think is noble and just. Like them I was taught how to kill people and was told to do it as a child. Like them I was pushed into a life. And I am glad that I am a Mossad agent. I am happy to fight for Israel. But you cannot sit there and act like I ever had a choice. Just like all those kids never had a choice. So I did not kill them. I gave them a chance to have a life!" She was screaming, in Hebrew, and Hadar ran into the room.

"Eli? Ziva?" He looked concerned. "Eli, where are you going?" Eli had gotten up and was walking out of the room. "Amit, we are leaving."

"What happened? Why were you yelling?"

"Amit, we are leaving." He tried the same low voice that he had used on Ziva, and Hadar looked wary. "I do not know what you were fighting about, but look at your daughter. She is in pain, and hurt, and you are going to let her stay here alone? Besides that, Ari and Tali are on their way and they will wonder where you are."

"You can stay. I am leaving." He stood. "I was going to send you and Tali somewhere for a vacation. You have lost that privilege." And Eli David walked out of the hospital.

The light flashed and Gibbs was in a gym. Mercy was with him. "What do you think?"

"Well, I don't think he should be surprised that a 16 year old got attached to other 16 year olds. And obviously I see the similarities between her and them. I understand that it's disturbing for Eli to have a daughter who was fond of terrorists but he should have never gotten angry with her a couple of minutes after she just had major surgery. He's lucky she wasn't rushed back in with the stress."

"She doesn't stay down long. She has a training session with Malachi today."

"How long has it been?"

"Little over a week."

"Seriously?"

"You shouldn't have any doubts at this point."

Malachi and Ziva walked into the gym. They were laughing and talking, and it struck Gibbs again that he had no idea that Ziva had had such a long history with these people he had met. No wonder it had hurt her when Hadar and Michael and Malachi had turned from her.

They were sparring, soon sweaty and disheveled, and Malachi was impressed. "You picked up some new moves on your assignment."

"I had to. There were certain signature Mossad moves that I had to leave out of my arsenal while I was there, so I had to replace them with something. You approve?"

"I would approve even more if you would let me win sometimes." He was grinning, being flirty with her again. Gibbs had seen it again and again. There wasn't much of an age gap. He was seven years older, and he wondered if they ever had a romantic connection in their years as friends.

"Have you heard anything about the kids they arrested? Are they released yet?"

Malachi sighed heavily. "You know that your father forbid you to have any part of that knowledge right?"

"I just want to make sure that he did not just have them killed."

Malachi shook his head. "They are alive."

"Where are they?" When he didn't answer, she got closer. "Please, Malachi. I have to know."

"Most of them were sent to a facility where they will work in the fields with other minimum security prisoners since they are all under 20. When they are there a while, people will assess their threat and they will probably all be released."

Ziva nodded. "Is Zahid in that group?"

"He is, but he will probably have to wait longer to be released. Serve time."

"Thank you for telling me." She lifted her hands back up like she was ready to spar again, and Malachi remained where he was, his hands down. "Ziva, what happened when you were undercover?"

"Nothing. I just did not want them to die."

"Hadar and I talked about it. He does not blame you. He says that you are young and would of course be attached to people your own age in that long a time. Staying separate from the job is the hardest part of being undercover. It was something he knew you would struggle with, and one reason why it is better not to send kids in. He convinced your father that you would have killed them if it was between that and the mission, but that you were just skilled enough not to have to resort to that."

"What do you think?"

"I trust you. I trust your judgment." He put his hands back up, and Ziva punched twice before she doubled over. "Ziva! What is wrong?" Malachi looked immensely worried, and Ziva waved him away. "I am fine." When she stood, Gibbs and Malachi both saw the blood stains on her shirt.

"Your wound is bleeding. We must stop."

"I am fine."

"No, you are not. And your father wants you back in the field in a week or less and we need to let it heal as much as we can." He gently led her towards the locker rooms, and Gibbs followed, wondering what was going to happen.

Ziva stopped. "You really trust me?"

"Did you ever have doubt?"

"No, but to hear that I liked terrorists from Palestine and still trust me? I just….that is special. Not many people think like that about me. Even Hadar questioned me about it."

"I have always trusted you, Ziva David."

They stared at each other, and Gibbs let out a little laugh. He knew what was going to happen.

"I missed you when I was gone that long."

"What about Michael?"

"He is nothing. I was a child."

"You are still a child."

"I am 17 and far from one."

Suddenly, they were kissing, Ziva wrapping her legs around him and he was lifting her off the ground. Ziva was for the first time, choosing to sleep with someone. And of all people it was Malachi Ben-Gidon. The light flashed, taking Gibbs to another time and place in her life, leaving the lovebirds behind.

There we are! I hope you don't hate Malachi and Ziva. I just knew from watching the show that there seemed to be a history there.


	19. Chapter 19

Ok, new chapter! I wanted to address a review from numb3rs mystery (I hope I wrote that right). She mentioned that she wished I had written Ari and Tali at the hospital. To be honest, I was about to submit my last chapter when I realized I hadn't mentioned them, so I didn't take time to write a whole scene for them. I decided that this chapter would have some sibling love instead. I hope you enjoy.

Previously….Malachi and Ziva slept together.

Gibbs realized that he hadn't been taken far. A moment ago he had been in the Mossad gym, knowing that Ziva had been about to sleep with Malachi, and now he was outside the gym only a little while later. Malachi and Ziva walked out together, and anyone with a brain could infer what they had just done.

"How are you getting home?"

"I was originally planning on running home."

"No. Not when your wound…."

"Relax, I am not going to. You could take me."

"I was about to offer that." He grinned, and Ziva returned the expression. Really, it didn't surprise Gibbs that Ziva's two romantic interests so far were Michael and Malachi, two people she still knew in the future. Ziva was not the type to throw her affections around to anybody and everybody. They walked towards the car, and Malachi acted like he was going to open the door for her. Ziva shot him a look that could kill. Laughing, he put his hands up in mock surrender.

"You scared me for a moment." Ziva was laughing too, as she opened her own car door. "If you were really trying to be a gentleman you would let me drive."

"I really did not feel like dying today, so I think I am going to pass. Nice try though."

"Ziva!"

Both turned to see a familiar man getting out of a nearby car. It was Ari. Gibbs honestly had no idea what relationship Malachi and Ari might have had, but it was soon plain that Ari really didn't care about Malachi at that moment. All his attention was directed to Ziva.

"What in the world are you doing?"

"Malachi was giving me a ride home. I was planning to run but circumstances have changed."

"Is that blood on your shirt?"

"Ari, I am fine."

"I need to talk to you. I will drive you home. Kiss your little boyfriend goodbye."

Ziva glanced at Malachi and smiled apologetically. He smiled back. "Who am I to get between a girl and her brother? How long are you in town anyways?"

"I will be leaving soon." Ari looked confused, probably wondering why someone he did not know was asking about his schedule. Malachi soon answered.

"The director has been on edge the past couple of days. I have surmised that you being here is part of that reason." Gibbs almost laughed. Malachi was an interesting character, somewhat sarcastic, somewhat sassy, and Ari looked a little surprised by his candor.

"I would hope that some of that edge was the fact that his daughter almost died last week but you are probably correct in assuming it is me. Shalom."

Ziva and Ari got into his vehicle. Ari looked exactly how he did when he killed Kate, so Gibbs was having trouble separating that from this present Ari. If Ziva was 17, he was 30. Gibbs wondered where he had been lately. Mercy hadn't shown him much.

"Why are you here?"

"I found out that you were at the gym a week after you got shot and had major surgery so I was coming to drag you out of it. You are lucky that you were already done when I arrived."

"I had to go. I will have more missions coming up and I lost some Mossad tactics when I was undercover and I had to practice."

"Your body was not ready. Your wound was bleeding."

"Only a little."

"I am worried about you. I am in Russia undercover, no contact with anyone, and when I get out, I find out that Eli put you on a mission almost as long as mine. Did you know that? That I wanted to be your contact to meet with at the end of your mission and he would not let me? I was causing so much trouble that he sent me to one of our compounds in North Africa. Friends kept me updated about you."

"I did not know."

"Did he give you a choice to go in?"

"I agreed to go."

"Not really what I was asking."

Ziva looked down, all traces of her earlier happiness gone.

"Ziva, you do not need to do exactly what they tell you. You can be your own person."

"I do not think I am anybody outside of Mossad."

"Yes, you are. I see it when you are with Tali. You are softer, kinder, and you laugh more."

"I laugh all the time at Mossad. Mossad agents make me happy."

"Do they really care about you? Any of them?"

"Yes." Her tone was hot, angry, challenging.

"Who, Ziva? Besides your family."

"Hadar does. Malachi does."

"I do not know Malachi. I am glad that you get to pick at least one person you sleep with." Ziva's eyes widened and Ari held up a hand. "Anyone could have seen that."

"Hadar cares about me."

Ari sighed. "I will give you that. But he does not care enough to let you quit."

Ziva was quiet, and Ari looked guilty. He changed topics. "Eli was angry with you when I got to the hospital."

"Yes, he was."

"Care to tell me why?"

Ziva sighed heavily, and Ari reached over and took her hand. "You can talk to me. You know I will always be here for you."

"I know." She smiled up at him with such trust in her eyes that Gibbs felt a physical pain in his chest. She was going to kill him. She was going to kill him. The phrase echoed through his mind over and over. She was going to kill him.

He was so focused on this thought that he didn't hear the entire story from Ziva. He focused back on her.

"And so now he is angry. Because I felt affection for them and saw that they were exactly like me, so I figured that they did not deserve for me to kill them."

"I understand. You lived with these people for almost a year. Anyone with a heart would have gotten attached in some way."

"He was so nice to me when I first woke up. I actually was stupid enough to be happy that he was there, worried about me, and I was HAPPY that I had gotten shot, because than I knew that he actually did love me. And it only lasted a couple of seconds and then it was gone."

"How does any of that explain why you are in the gym trying to land yourself back in the hospital?"

"I have to prove myself to Mossad again. To Abba. So I have to be back in the field again within the week. If I do not have his respect I do not have his love, and I want his love."

"Ziva…"

"No, Ari. Do not tell me that he is awful and that he does not deserve my love. I cannot help it. I want him to be proud of me. I love Hadar and he praises me all the time, and it feels great, but when abba would even smile at me, or nod, or give the slightest hint of approval….." she trailed off. "Nothing feels better."

"I was going to say that he does love you. When he called me away from my post in North Africa, because he was afraid you were going to die, what I heard was love. And I may hate the bastard but I know that you do not, and that is fine. I will not blame you for loving him. But not letting that wound heal is doing no one any favors."

"It is fine. I am fine. I have to keep going. I have to stay at the top of my game, for Tali."

"For Tali?"

"I made a promise to Abba that I would do whatever it takes to allow Tali to live a life that is far from Mossad. I am afraid that he will force her to join in some way if I refuse or fail."

"Tali wants to be a singer."

"Yes, she does. She has been hanging on me since I got back. Since I missed her birthday when I was away I said I would take her to the opera this weekend."

"If you can get her away from her boy."

"Her what?"

"Her little boyfriend. You did not know?"

"I knew she was hiding something. That little sneak!"

"She is old enough Ziva."

"She is only 15 years old!"

"And that is older than you were when Eli taught you how to have sex with someone. What is better?"

"I will have some words for her when I get back!"'

Ari threw his head back and laughed. "You sound like a grandmother."

"I do not want her to be hurt by men. I have seen the worse of the worst in the past few years and I am afraid for her. She is not ready for this world."

"If it was up to me, you would not be either."

Nice short thing, just a transition. I wanted to show Ari again. I will have an action filled chapter next time!


	20. Chapter 20

Hello! It is finals week. I finished by hardest final about an hour ago (Biology) and I have Environmental Engineering at 2 and World Religions at 4, but before I can cram more I need a mental break so here I am.

This may be a spoiler, but I have to address a question I was asked. Ziva will not go back to NCIS at the end of this story. I am trying to make this a canon as possible story, and the story is about Gibbs accepting the fact that she had to leave and had good reasons for it. I hope I didn't crush your hopes and dreams with that statement but if I did I guess it's good that you found out sooner rather than later.

Previously….Ari took Ziva home from her training session and is concerned for her. She is 17 currently.

Ari's car pulled up at the apartment that the David family resided in now. "I have another surprise for you. We have a dinner guest."

"Who?" Ziva's eyes were bright with curiosity, and Ari smiled and pointed out the window. "Deena!" Ziva grinned, jumped out, and hugged the woman, who was older than her but still younger than Ari was. Gibbs didn't know this women, this girl who had loved Ari besides that she was a guest at Shabbat Shalom earlier in Ziva's life. Was she significant in some way?

Mercy appeared at that moment. "She is very significant. I didn't show you that over the years, Ziva and Deena have come to care for each other, despite their age difference."

Tali came running out of the house. Gibbs hadn't seen her in a while and was stunned at the first site of her. She was gorgeous for a 15 year old. She was built differently than Ziva, less athletic with more curves, and Gibbs couldn't imagine her in anything but clothes like the dress she had on at that moment. "Deena is here Ziva!"

"I see her. It is nice to know my brother's girlfriend. It would be nice to know my sister's boyfriend as well." She sounded calm, but Gibbs, Ari, Deena, and Tali could sense the fire beneath her words.

"Ziva, I knew you would act like this. You will meet him eventually. He is shy. He knows that my family is Mossad and that scares him."

"Are we scary people, us dark Mossad agents?"

"Ziva, that is not fair."

"I know, Tali, I am sorry."

Tali smiled, showing that she wasn't fazed. "Guess what? Ziva is taking me to the opera this weekend since she missed by birthday."

"You two could come too if you wanted." Ziva smiled at them, and Deena shook her head. "We are going to be leaving before then. And that should be a special sister thing."

"I have a surprise of my own."

They all turned to see Eli David arriving home. He didn't even look in Ari's direction. "I have upgraded the seats that Ziva had purchased to box seats."

"Abba, that is impossible! No amount of money can buy those."

"You need a connection. And believe it or not, being the director of Mossad actually is a connection."

"Thank you Abba." Tali launched herself at him, and he hugged her back tightly. "Someday I will use those connections again to see my own daughter sing at the opera."

They broke their hug and Eli turned to Ziva, but she did not rush to hug him, because that simply was not Ziva's nature. "Thank you Abba." Her voice was controlled, and Eli nodded in return.

The light flashed and Gibbs was watching Ziva and Tali walk out of the opera. They had on fancy dresses, Tali in light blue and Ziva in red. Tali's highlighted her blue eyes and Ziva just looked stunning in hers. Gibbs could tell that she was obviously more used to being in such a dress and heels, and she looked much smoother as they walked along than Tali did.

"Your necklace is so pretty." This was Tali, who was pointing at a string of pearls that Ziva wore. "Those were Ima's right?"

"Yes, they were. Abba gave them to me. I like your necklace better." Gibbs looked, and Tali had on a simple Star of David necklace. It was the one that they had both received and Ziva had lost.

"I wear it every day."

"I notice it. Does it not get in the way? To wear in all the time?"

"I could not imagine not wearing it." She paused and moved on. "I had so much fun tonight. Did you see all the other important people trying to figure out whose kids we were?"

Ziva laughed. "Imagine what they might have been thinking. I bet Eli David's kids never went through their heads."

"Thank you, Ziva. For tonight."

"Do not thank me. Father was the one who got us the box seats."

"You were the one who had the idea. And you were the one who took me."

Ziva stopped and looked at her sister. "I would spend so much more time with you if I could. This was the least that I could do."

"We should go to the opera every year. I do not care where the seats are. I would stand if it meant watching it. Can that be my birthday gift every year, please please please?"

"I think it is a fine idea. You do not want something else with it?"

"This gives me a chance to watch the opera and a night with you. What else could I ever want?"

The light flashed and Gibbs was in the back of a moving van. He was sitting next to two men with guns that were conversing in Farsi. He wasn't sure where Ziva was, but he could guess that she was close. Soon, his question was answered.

She jumped into the van, and Gibbs dove out of her way before he remembered that he wasn't actually there. She was holding only a knife, and she took one man out quickly. The second man seemed to be skilled and gave her trouble. He couldn't get a shot off with his gun, because he seemed to not want to shoot it. Gibbs took a quick look around to determine that the van was carrying gunpowder barrels. Smart move, Mr. Farsi man.

The two of them were still fighting. Now, they were rolling around in the van. Ziva slammed him against the side, and as he fell, a barrel of gunpowder fell as well, spilling everywhere. As the fight went on, both Ziva and the man were covered in it, from hitting the floor at different points in the fight. Ziva seemed to get the upper hand when she cracked him across the jaw, her knife long since fallen and buried in the gunpowder. The man fell, and she did not look at him, or for the knife. Instead, she started tearing through barrels, letting one after the other fall and spill open. She was looking for something.

With only a few barrels to go, an object wrapped in cloth fell out of a barrel. She scooped it up, tore the cloth off, revealing paper wrapped like a scroll. She opened it. Gibbs didn't see what was on it, but she smiled and rolled it back up, shoving it in her pocket. She had found what she needed.

At that moment, the man regained consciousness. "Watch out!" Gibbs yelled, always forgetting that she couldn't hear him. Ziva noticed as soon as he jumped to his feet, and she whirled around, fists flying, trying to finish the job. It didn't seem to be ending well for either of them. Ziva, for some reason, looked tired, slower than usual. Gibbs walked around the fighting figures to get a better look. The reason was soon clear. Her stomach had a pretty large blood stain, directly over her old wound. He had assumed that a lot of time had passed since the last incident, but apparently that was not the case.

Ziva and the man stumbled back, away from each other. They stood still for a second or two, both trying to guess what the other was going to do. And in those seconds, Gibbs saw Ziva formulate a plan. She glanced at the gun that the man had dropped. The man saw her gaze, and looked up, eyes wide and alarmed, and dived towards her. But he was too slow.

Somehow, Ziva grabbed the gun and pushed the van door open, as Gibbs jumped out after her, instinctually tucking and rolling since they were still moving. The driver must have no idea what was happening. As soon as Ziva had left the vehicle she had turned, fired, her bullet entering the man in the heart, dead immediately, not even feeling the entire van becoming a massive fireball. Ziva threw the gun down, and dove behind a car parked on the street.

Only a couple of seconds passed before a car pulled up. It was Malachi, who must have been following the van the whole time. This was probably the car that Ziva had come from, if he thought about it. "Hurry, Ziva!"

As they sped away, he turned to her. "Do you have it?"

"I do. It is done."

"Good, that is good. But you are bleeding."

"It is fine."

"Ziva, this is serious, it should not still be doing this."

"I know it should not be, that is why I am ignoring it."

"I am going to talk to Hadar about this."

The light flashed and Eli David and Amit Hadar were fighting.

"I cannot watch this anymore! You did not give her wound enough time to heal. You had her on a mission 10 days after she was shot and had major surgery. If you had let her rest for a time, she would be fine now. Bullet wounds do not bleed a month after one receives them, unless they never heal in the first place!"

"I refuse to be soft on her. She does not get special treatment."

"Waiting for a wound to heal is not special treatment. It is common sense. You do not seem to have any of that."

"Be careful, Officer Hadar. I am still your superior, even if I am your friend."

"That is why this is so difficult for me. Because part of me wants to heed to your wishes and listen to you, because you are my director and my friend, and I care about you. I would die for you a thousand times. But I also care about Ziva. As do you. Being in the middle of you two is the hardest thing about my job. And it should not be. I do not think that I should have to expect a father and daughter who act like the two of you."

"Ziva is my daughter, and I care about her deeply. But she is also my officer."

"If Tali was shot, what would you do?"

Eli suddenly looked angry. "How can you say such a thing?"

"She is your daughter too. Would you care more if it was her and not Ziva who had almost died?"

"Tali id different. She is weak. So yes, I would be more concerned. But Ziva can handle this and a lot more. I do not have to waste energy to be concerned."

"Well, you should be, because she is in med getting new stiches in, again. Can I make one more plea? Putting her on missions while she is wounded is jeopardizing everything from her own life to other officer's lives to the outcome of the mission.

"She completed all her missions since her accident. She got the list today.

"Malachi told me how long it took her to get out of the van. She is suffering from it. Maybe next time she does not get out in time."

Eli stared at him, a thousand emotions running through his eyes. Finally, he sighed. "You are right. Give her….10 days off. After that she gets no more leniency.

"Understood, director."

Hadar walked out, smiling as soon as he turned around. Again, Gibbs had to wonder what in the world had happened between Hadar and Ziva. They had fought about Michael Rivkin when Tony killed him, but there had been too much underlying tension for that to be the first incident. He hoped that he would find out eventually, but the thought made him sad. He seemed to love her. What could possibly change that?

Thanks for the read! The next chapter is a sad one. I hope I do it justice.


	21. Chapter 21

Hello! As promised, this is going to be sad. I have to write it, and it is pivotal chapter, so here we are.

Previously…Gibbs saw that Ziva and Ari's girlfriend Deena are friends and Ziva took Tali to the opera. Ziva was giving some time off because her old gunshot wound wasn't healing.

Gibbs squinted as the newest flash of light cleared. He was hopeful that he would get to see Ziva having some time off, maybe dancing or with friends, but that did not seem to be the case.

Like some times before, he was seeing flashes of her life following her time off. He saw her lounging on a beautiful beach, supposedly on her vacation. He saw her getting the go ahead from a doctor as he checked her stomach, as it finally healed as it should. He saw her going on more missions, each one slightly different, some undercover, some not.

He saw her and Malachi. They were stealing kisses behind closed doors, they were training together and as soon as one would pin the other they would be kissing some more, and he was slipping her candy at debriefings. Time slowed down as he saw Ziva meeting Tali's boyfriend, a good looking guy by the name of Daniel. Daniel was Ziva's age, and planned on going to law school. Ziva seemed to approve. Time slowed down again as he saw Hadar asking Ziva about Malachi.

"Do I need to be concerned about you and Malachi?"

"Why would you think you would have to be?"

"I just want to make sure it is not anything serious."

"Nothing like that. We care about each other, and we have fun together, but it is not a serious relationship."

"That is all I need to hear."

"Why is this not a problem? And Michael was?"

"You were 15 when you were with Michael. You are now very close to being 18 and are much more mature. Also, as far as I can see, you and he have been together for a while now, pretty much since you got back, and if you are not in love yet I doubt it will hit you like a rock or something."

"Makes sense."

Time slowed down a little more into the sequence and he saw Malachi and Ziva eating take out in an apartment that he had seen enough times to know belonged to Malachi's. They were having a candid conversation.

"This is not a serious thing is it?"

"What do you mean?" Malachi looked puzzled at her question.

"This thing."

"Of course not. I like you and I enjoy sleeping with you. Also, I would take a bullet for you because I care about you as a lover and a colleague. But are we getting married? Of course not. If either of us meets Mr. or Mrs. Right and senses love, than we move on. Duh. Why, you have a man?"

"Just affirming what I told Hadar."

Gibbs turned to Mercy. "I don't like Malachi."

"Because of what you see here or because of what you see later?"

"I wouldn't care either way except for the fact that he left Ziva in a Somalian prison camp. That isn't exactly something I get over just because."

Ziva's life flashed more, and he saw her turning 18, as Malachi took her out for an actual dinner date and he told her about a girl he thought he might like and she schemed on what he could do. Their relationship didn't make much sense to Gibbs, because after he spent a dinner telling her about the girl he liked they had sex in the back of his car. He saw her the next day getting a toast at a dinner with her father and sister, and Tali presenting her with a gauzy skirt for ballet, a huge box of chocolate, and sang her an aria.

Now, Gibbs knew that Tali wanted to be a singer. And he figured she had to be pretty good. But the sound coming out of her mouth wasn't just good. It was beautiful. And if Ziva was 18, that meant that Tali would be 16 soon. She died when she was 16. He wasn't ready to see it.

"Abba, what is the news on my mandatory military duty?"

Eli looked up from his plate of food, surprised. "We already discussed that. I got you approved to waive it. You have served the country many more years than you are required and you will do so in the future. Tali will be waved someday as well. My daughters do not need to be bothered by senseless military wars. You, Ziva, are fighting the real battle.

Ziva didn't answer, instead pushing the food around on her plate. "I just feel guilty missing it is all."

Eli David tossed his fork down quickly, and pulled his chair back, getting up. "I have no time to listen to your silly worries. I have calls to make."

He saw a flash of Amit Hadar handing her a gun, and her smiling at him, as she tested it, and her telling Malachi about the awesome birthday gift Hadar had given her. He saw other missions and more undercover, and Hanukkah, and then it all came to a screeching halt, as the action he was seeing slowed and he knew that something big was happening.

Ziva and Malachi were walking out of the gym, discussing Michael Rivkin, of all people.

"He says he really likes it there. I say that he only likes it because of all the pretty girls near the beach but he says he just likes the life at a more quiet Mossad building. Is there hard feelings between you two?"

Ziva laughed. "Of course not. We worked together on that case with the missing kid remember? We both agreed that we would happily do it again, we were a good team. And there was no hint of any past romance."

"I am glad to hear it. Someday I would love to command a team with both of you kids on it."

"Kids?" She said it with mock disbelief, and he shoved her playfully. "You are 18 and I am 25. You are a kid."

They walked a little more, and each unlocked their own cars. "What are your plans for tonight Ziva David?"

"Heading home. Daniel is taking my sister out for her 16th birthday. On Saturday we are going to the opera. No box seats this time, but I bought the most expensive ones I could get without a connection. I can splurge on her."

"I thought you were saving up, ready to move out?"

"I have plenty for that. Mossad is generous as you know."

"Is Tali moving out with you?"

"That is up to her. Personally, I would like for her to stay with our father. She would have stability with neither of us but that is chaos she is used to at least."

"I will see you tomorrow Ziva. My physical is at 0500."

"So is mine. See you tomorrow."

Gibbs sat in the passenger seat as Ziva drove through Tel Aviv, almost killing herself and half the city in the process. She ran into the house, throwing her keys down. "I am here!"

Tali stepped out from another room, and both Gibbs and Ziva lost their breath for a moment. She suddenly looked very much like an adult. She was wearing a stunning, low cut dress, her hair and makeup were perfect, and the smile on her face made it all even better.

"Oh, Tali."

"How do I look?"

"There are no words." Ziva carefully hugged her, not wanting to mess up her hair or makeup. "He is really spoiling you tonight."

"I love him, Ziva. I know I am only 16 and he is only 18 but we know. I want to marry him. I know I do, and I know Ima would love him."

"She would." Both girls were quiet a moment, thinking of their mom. "I am happy for you. I know that you love him. You are not too young. I remember 16 well, and I was not a child."

"When you were 16 Abba sent you away for so long. You never got to meet a Daniel."

"Tali, do not talk about silly things."

"And why are they silly?" She suddenly looked like she was going to school Ziva about something. "I have Daniel and I love him. Who do you have? Why are you not with someone that makes you happy? You are beautiful, and more athletic, smart, and capable than I could ever be. You are a Mossad officer, what cooler job can you have? And you are kind, and funny, and why are you not with someone?"

"And what is Malachi?"

"I am not talking about a friend that you sleep with. I am talking about love, real love. You deserve it. Deena and Ari have it, and so do Daniel and me."

"Someday, maybe, I will find someone. But it will not be someone from Mossad."

"Maybe not." Tali cocked her head to the side. "I think that everyone is perfect for one other person in the world, and that eventually God will bring them together and they have a chance to make it work or not. We can meet other people and tell ourselves that we truly love them but nothing will match what we could have with our person. You just need to find yours."

"And where, Tali? On a mission?"

"I think he will be an American."

Both Gibbs and Ziva reacted to the statement. "Tali, I am not going to ever know Americans well enough to fall in love with them."

"Yes, I think you will. You want to go there. I used to care about going, but Daniel is here and he makes me happier than America ever would."

"Tali, I am not going to fall in love with an American."

Gibbs had the image of two Americans in his head. One was Ray Cruz, and he dismissed him immediately. The other was Tony. And he had to say that he agreed with Tali. Shannon had been his person, and Tony and Ziva were for each other, even if they would probably never ride off into the sunset like Tali wanted.

"You see me when you do and I can say that I was right and you were wrong and say I told you so."

"Sounds like a deal."

Tali checked her reflection in a mirror. "He should be here soon."

"I have an idea! Wait here." Ziva ran from the hallway, leaving a confused Tali and Gibbs behind. She returned with a box. She opened it, pulling out the pearls that Ziva had said were Rivka's.

"No." Tali shook her head. "Those are yours."

"They should be for both of us. Especially for you, you were her little girl. And your neck is very bare and these would look amazing, you know that."

"I would love to wear them."

"Good, I will put them on."

"Wait." Tali fidgeted with her Star of David. "I do not like to take this off."

"This is a special occasion. You can put it in the pearl box and switch back as soon as you get home. In a fancy place like he is taking you, you need pearls like this. And it is a way for Ima to go with you."

Tali smiled. "I will wear them. On one condition."

"What is that?"

"I want you to take my necklace." She put up a hand as Ziva protested. "I do not like the idea of leaving it in a box. It is part of me, and if I do not have it I want to imagine you wearing it. Just until I get home and you can give it back."

"Tali, I broke mine. What if…"

"If you are sent on a secret mission in the time I am gone, than you can take it off. But I know you. You are going to lounge around and wait for me to get back. Not even you can hurt it in that short of time."

"I will if it means you will wear the pearls and look even more stunning." Tali gave Ziva the necklace, and she hooked it on. "It looks good on you." Tali adjusted it so the star was right in the middle. "Now, for the pearls."

Ziva hooked them on, and they did look great with the dress. "When did you become taller than me?" She had had to stand on her tiptoes to hook the necklace.

"Ziva, I am at least four inches taller and I have been for about two years now."

"I know, but it still seems like you should be my tiny little sister."

They saw headlights. "Daniel is here."

Ziva hugged her one more time. "Have fun, be careful. And Tali?"

Tali turned, already on her way to the door. "What?"

"I just wanted to say that I am so, so proud of you. I do not care if you decide to be a doctor or a singer or a mother or all three, because whatever you do you are being strong and making the decision on your own."

Tali looked like she was going to cry. "Ziva, I have really good eye makeup on, do not do this to me now." Her laughing tone faded and she looked serious. "Ziva, I have to tell you something as well."

"What is it?"

"You are a wonderful person. I know you seem to think differently, but do not let that misconception hold you back. You deserve someone more than Malachi or Michael or any of those shady people you work with. Please, promise me now, as I am walking out with the love of my life that you will try and find someone. Please."

"I promise." They hugged one more time. "I really am so proud of you. For being your own person."

Tali smiled, and the door opened. Daniel looked awestruck as he handed her flowers. "Tali, you look amazing."

"Thank you."

"I will put these in a vase. Have fun you two. Try and bring her home by midnight."

"Yes Sir." Daniel pretended to salute her.

"Oh, shut up, get out of here. Go, go, go. Your dinner awaits I guess."

The walked out, and as Tali was about to get in the car she turned and looked at Ziva one more time _. " I_ _love you"_ she mouthed, and Ziva mouthed the phrase back. She waved one more time, shut the front door, and put the flowers in a vase. Playing with the necklace, she sat on the couch. Gibbs sat next to her, knowing exactly what was coming that night.

Time passed and Ziva drifted off on the couch. Suddenly, around two hours after they left, someone came flying in the door. It was Malachi.

"Malachi, what in the world are you doing? I could have killed you!" Ziva had had her weapon in her hands before Malachi had gotten in the door.

"You have to come with me, now."

"What is wrong? What is happening? Is there a mission?"

"Ziva, do not question, just come with me, now."

"Malachi, tell me what is going on. I cannot just leave, I have to get ahold of Tali and tell her if I am about to be whisked off to some other country or something on a mission."

"Ziva, this is about Tali."

Ziva's face went white in an instant. "What happened? Was it a car wreck? Daniel is a good driver. Is she hurt?"

"A bomb went off in the restaurant she was in. I honestly do not know her status. They just sent me to get you."

"Take me. Now."

In the car, she peppered him with a million questions. "What kind of bomb? What was the blast radius? How many estimated casualties? Were there survivors? What was the motive?"

"Ziva, I do not know. I know little more than you."

"What do you know?" Her eyes were wild.

"Hadar told me that a bomb had gone off in that fancy place near the north end of Tel Aviv and that Tali David had been reported to have been there with her boyfriend and to find you and bring you here in case she was the target and you were in danger as well."

"But is she hurt?"

"I do not know."

"But if she…"

"Ziva, please stop asking me."

They rode in silence, and at Mossad, Ziva leapt out of the car, scanning the mass of activity wildly. Her training told her that the bomb must have been a big one, because a lot of Mossad agents were being mobilized.

"I need to find Hadar. Have any of you seen Officer Hadar?"

They all shook their heads, until she saw him standing with officers Gibbs didn't recognize. She ran to him, still looking crazy.

"Where is Tali? Tell me where she is, now!" Her voice had borderline traces of hysteria in it.

Hadar looked sad. So incredibly sad. "Not here, Ziva. Let us go over there alone and talk."

Ziva shook her head violently. "No. No."

"Ziva…."

"Tell me she is alive."

"Ziva…"

"Tell me!" The people nearby all stopped talking and looked at who was yelling. They were all watching.

"Ziva, I cannot tell you that."

"Just tell me." Her voice was calm, too calm now. "Just tell me that she is alive. That is all I need to hear. Just tell me."

"Ziva, I am so so sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? Just tell me. Just say it. "Tali David is still alive."

"Ziva. Please."

Tears were bubbling in her eyes. "No."

"I am so sorry."

"No...please no."

"Ziva, she…she and Daniel were both killed tonight."

Ziva stood frozen. Gibbs was reminded of how she acted when Eli was killed, but this was different. This was grief he had never seen on her, grief that reminded him of the grief he felt when his family was killed. Hadar was talking to her and Gibbs and Ziva both zoned him out. Ziva's legs gave out, and she was sitting on the wet ground. Hadar was yelling at people to give her privacy, and they were scattering, all looking so sad, and he was taking off his jacket and putting it around her shoulders like a shock blanket.

Gibbs knelt by her as well, and wanted to hold her and tell her that crying would help her, but when she was 18 he was off at NCIS, and hadn't even known Kate yet. He hadn't known about Tali David and her dreams and her death that came far too soon. He hadn't understood that when she met another Daniel on the Damocles that it had probably impacted her, that reminder of the boy her sister had loved and died next to so many years earlier.

Hadar was inches from Ziva's face, trying to get her to respond to him. She was not. Gibbs put his face by Hadar's, looking at Ziva as well. What he saw scared him.

He had seen her eyes look happy, scared, angry, and sad and a million other emotions, but none of them were there at that moment. He had never seen eyes that looked as empty as hers did at the moment. Ziva was nowhere close to ok. And he wasn't sure if she ever was again after this moment.

There we are. That was really long, I know, but I had to finish. I hope you liked it. Tali is not quite done impacting Ziva, and this story is far from over.


	22. Chapter 22

Hello! Hope everyone had a great Christmas! I'm sorry for abandoning all of you for a while, Christmas got in the way of updating for a while. But, here we are.

Previously…Tali David was killed.

Gibbs had to turn away, as Hadar tried to get Ziva to stand up and leave the crowded courtyard, but she seemed unresponsive. He knew shock when he saw it. Hadar seemed concerned as well. Finally, he all but lifted her to her feet and led her away, supporting all of her body weight. Gibbs gained a new appreciation for the man, who probably should have been doing something else, but who instead took the time to look after Ziva.

The light flashed and he found himself in Eli's home. Ziva was sitting on the couch in a dark room, staring at nothing. He saw flashes of her in the day or two following Tali's death. She didn't speak. He saw Malachi trying to get her to eat and her refusing. He saw her running, 12 miles, coming home after dark and Eli David pulling her into a tight hug, than immediately yelling in Hebrew about how worried he had been when he woke up and saw that she was gone and that he couldn't lose another daughter. He saw her cut her wrists once, and Malachi noticing and her promising him that she wouldn't do it again, because it hadn't helped her forget.

The light flashed and she was standing next to her father, staring at a coffin. The light flashed one more time, and she was on top of a building he didn't know, on the skinny ledge, staring at the ground. Gibbs wasn't a fan of heights, and the wind was cutting through him, which couldn't have made it easy for Ziva to balance on the ledge.

Gibbs noticed Ari first. When the man saw that his sister was standing on the ledge of a 20 story building, panic crossed his features, but he still slowed down, trying his best not to startle her. "Ziva. Ziva, what are you doing?"

She spun her head around, eyes wild. "Ari!"

"Ziva, what is happening right now? Why are you up there?"

"I don't know. I just…." Tears were leaking out of her eyes, and she couldn't finish.

"You need to come down, and come home with me. We can't lose anyone else, Ziva. Not now."

"Who's we?" Her voice was getting hysterical. "There is no We. Ima is dead. Tali is dead. Abba just sees me as his assassin. I see you every couple months…..who is we?"

"Ziva, please get off the ledge. You do not want to die, I know that. You would never do that to the people who care about you. So get off before you fall off. Please."

Ziva nodded quickly, and stepped off, straight into Ari's arms. "We is everyone who loves you. That includes your father, that includes Malachi and Hadar, and it includes me. I already lost one sister. I cannot lose another. Please, I cannot spend the rest of my life wondering if you are standing on the ledge of a building. Your life is dangerous enough as it is."

"I'm sorry. I just….I just do not know what to do anymore. All of this, the person I have become, I did it for her. When I was out there, killing people, I told myself that it was one less bad guy who could hurt innocents, and there was no one more innocent than her. And I did not kill them all, because someone hurt her, someone killed her before she had a chance to live…" Ziva looked close to tears, speaking in Hebrew but in an accent so thick it was hardly understandable.

"Ziva…"

"Why did I live? When I was shot, and almost died? If I had died would she had lived? Would God had been satisfied that one of the David daughters were taken?"

"Ziva, God does not work that way. You lived, and she did not. Nothing anyone could do would have stopped it. If you knew this was going to happen, if she did not die on her 16th birthday, than maybe she would have been killed at the market, or driving, or by sickness. She was always going to be Eli David's daughter and she was always going to be human. You could not keep her safe. If God wanted to take her home, she was going to go."

Gibbs was literally staring open mouthed at the man that was Ari, his sworn enemy and the man who shot people on roof tops for no good reason. How could he be this nice and yet be so evil a few years down the road? They were getting closer to her time at NCIS.

"I will try and honor her memory for as long as I live. She gave me her necklace for safe keeping that night. I have no taken it off since she put it on and I do not plan on it."

"What will you do now? Now that you are not a Mossad officer?"

Both Gibbs and Ziva stared at him, equally confused. "Why am I not going to be a Mossad officer?"

"You told me that you were doing it for her. That as long as you were the perfect officer she would be safe. Tali is gone, Ziva. Eli David has nothing to hold against you. He has no leverage. You are free to walk away and do whatever you want."

He and Ziva were silent, Ari looking at her and Ziva looking at the ground, and Ari shook his head. "Are you serious?"

"Ari…"

"This is it! This is your way out! You are free, free at last! But I can see that you do not seem to be thinking like that, and I do not understand."

"This is who I am now."

"A murderer?"

"Ari please…"

"That is what you are. There is no use pretending that you are anything else. I am one too, and so is your father, we are like a little club are we not?"

"I am not a murderer!" Her eyes were stormy. "I am a Mossad officer!"

"And is that a noble thing to be?"

"You are one, just the same as me, do not try and act like I am beneath you!"

"I am, Ziva, and I look in the mirror and hate myself. I wanted something more for you, is that so odd? You killed good people; you know that as well as I do. If Tali had known some of the stories…"

"Do not bring her into this."

"Why not? You said you wanted to honor her memory. Not even Tali would have been able to look at you the same if she saw you in the middle of a mission. How is that honoring her memory?"

"Tali did not understand what I did."

"Neither do you! You think Mossad is so noble and…"

"If you hate Mossad so much why are you still working here?"

Ari got quiet for a moment. "I would not hold my breath too much on that statement Ziva."

"What does that mean?"

"This isn't about me. This is about you. And the fact that you used the excuse for the last how many years that you were fighting for Tali. Well now Tali is dead and you have every intention to continue being their blind sheep until the day you die yourself, alone and scared on some mission and you will be lucky to have your body claimed."

"Tali was the person that kept me good. She was the person who kept me pure, and hopeful , and she was the one who gave me joy. She is gone. I have no more hope. I have no more joy. All I have is what I can do. And I will do it until it kills me."

Ari was shaking his head. "You are more than what you were with Tali. You love to dance, you love to sing, you love to run. You are funny, you are smart, you give me joy."

Ziva laughed, no humor in her tone. "I am nothing. I have no friends. If I quit Mossad, Hadar and Malachi and Michael would not call me and ask me to dinner and like me. They like me for what I am to Mossad. Abba loves me in his own way but if I quit he would never consider me his daughter again. I am nothing but Mossad."

Ari shook his head. "You are not making sense."

"I am going to find the people who killed my sister and I am going to watch them die. And I will continue my life in Mossad and I will try and find some type of purpose. That is all I have left to live for."

Ari looked away. "You are incredible. For years, Tali was upset because she knew you did bad things so she wouldn't have to be an agent, and you gave her the best childhood anyone could ask for, you gave her a chance to fall in love. If she could speak to you now, she would say that she was happy to be gone, so she could repay you, so you had a chance to be happy. And you are letting her die for nothing." He turned away, obviously ready to walk out.

"I am going to kill the people who took her away, and kill other people who will blow up restaurants with innocent people sitting in them. That is not nothing."

Ari was already walking away. Without turning around, he laughed bitterly and said "You become exactly like him, and give everything you have to Mossad and when you come out with nobody to love and no one who loves you, than you can come crawling back to me and admit that you were wrong."

Ari was walking down the steps and Ziva didn't say anything in return. She dropped to her knees, and Gibbs dropped with her, wishing he could comfort her in some way. She did find people who loved her, did she know that? He loved her, and so did the rest of the team, and Abby, and they continued to do so even though she left. But she had become the person Ari had warned her about. She had given almost everything to Mossad, and what was left was given to NCIS and when she didn't have anything left to give she left to try and find the part of her that she had lost when Tali died.

Gibbs closed his eyes as the light flashed. Ziva leaving NCIS was starting to make more and more sense to him. She had run away from the people she loved, because in her mind she couldn't imagine they would still love her without her being their agent. Gibbs just wished that he could have made the fact that his love was unconditional clearer before she walked away.

There we are! I had to do it folks, start driving the wrench between Ari and Ziva. Next up is some action, now that we have a new, colder Ziva.


	23. Chapter 23

Hello Everyone! I know I have been absent a while, but I will try to come back. But whatever the case, I have a chapter for you now. I am copying and pasting this from Google Docs so I apologize if format is not good, I have never tried it before.

Previously...Ari and Ziva had a fight because Ziva said she had no intention of quitting Mossad, even with the death of Tali.

"Ziva! Ziva wait!"

Gibbs found himself walking besides Ziva, who was wearing a skimpy dress and high heels. For the first time, he noticed that she now looked exactly like she did when she arrived at NCIS, even if she was only 18 or 19 here and had come at 23.

The person calling was Malachi. "Where are you going?"

"You do not need to know that."

"Hadar is worried about you. Your father has asked about you. It has been three months since..since...since it happened and you are still not yourself."

"So I am supposed to be fine and normal without my sister here? She was murdered, and three months or three decades, I am never going to be normal without her here. All of you should know that."

"But Ziva…."

"What?"

"We know. All of us. We know that you have been looking into what happened at the restaurant. When she died. And we need you to stop."

"Seriously?"

"Ziva, you need to understand…"

"Understand what? That Tali David was killed, along with a whole building full of people, and Mossad isn't doing anything about it? That Eli said that his top people were going to look into it and that I was too close to investigate, but we are his top people, me and you and Hadar, and apparently none of us are invited into this so called investigation? Something suspicious is going on and I am going to find out what it is, and when I do…"

"You will kill them."

"Of course. I believe it is my right."

"Ziva, your father wants you to stop your private investigation. I do not know anything more than you, but he is getting impatient with you."

"I will not stop. And you can tell him that."

"At least tell me where you are going in clothes like that?"

"I am getting information. It requires….requires me to look the part."

"You plan on sleeping with someone?"

"It is a viable interrogation technique."

"Please be careful, Ziva. And talk to your father. He must have a reason he does not want you to look into this. Trust somebody."

"I will not."

The light flashed and Gibbs was in a room with Hadar and Eli David.

"Malachi was not successful?"

"She is getting closer. Too close. She is too good of an officer not to figure it out. What are you going to do?"

"I am half tempted to let her figure it out."

Hadar gave him a look that could kill. "If she finds out she will kill him. You can not allow that. You know the hit was not designed…"

"I know, I know. Can you not just tell her the truth? She is a smart girl. She will understand and we will all move on."

"Eli, she will not care. She will continue her mission regardless."'

"Than what can we do?"

Eli was thoughtful for a moment, and smiled. "She needs to get away from here."

'Sir?"

"You said she was starting to scare you on missions?"

She is getting very reckless. She is taking risks and killing has become second nature. She no longer asks questions. She seemed to have lost her mercy. And I am afraid for her."

"What can we do?"

Gibbs's eyes were narrowed, trying to figure out what was going on. Was it possible that Eli David knew who had killed his daughter? Him and Hadar? And they were covering it up? How could a father ever cover for the man who killed his child? He thought of what he had done when his own family had been murdered. He has responded like a father should, at least like a father who had the necessary skills and connections to do so.

Both of the Mossad men were lost in thought as they pondered the issue, and Eli suddenly sat up straighter. His eyes had lit up. He had an idea. And it scared Gibbs. A lot.

"At one point she said that she wanted to complete her mandatory military service. I told her that I would get her excused, but maybe we should let her do her duty. It would get her far away from here and any information we want to keep from her."

Gibbs was amazed. Dumbfounded, he stared at Eli David. This was his solution? He wanted to send her off to the army so she couldn't figure out who killed her sister?"

"Are you sure that is wise Eli?"

"Why is it not?" Eli's tone was dangerous.

"She is not in the clearest mindset right now. And the military is a whole new challenge. Ziva is used to being someone important here, going on special missions and getting special treatment, but to be conscripted into military service with everyone else with no skills and no importance? She would hate it. If she starts asking questions like she does to us in the military they will tear her down. And if they know that Eli David is her father, they will be even more brutal to her. The nobodies in the army will want to prove how tough they are and used her as their example. Can you really stomach doing that?"

"I think you are being dramatic, my friend."

"Dramatic?"

"She wanted this. She said turning it down felt wrong. Let her serve a year and get her mind back in the right place. It will do us all good."

The light faded away, and Gibbs turned to Mercy, who was alone with him in a spare room. "I cannot believe this. Honestly. I am at a loss for words."

"Why? Why now? You knew that she served in the army. It was in her file when she joined your team. It was another reason you felt a connection to her."

"The timing of it, and the reasoning. I knew Ziva well. I knew her sister had died. But I can't believe that she lived the rest of her life without knowing who killed her sister. I saw how she acted after her father was killed. She wouldn't rest until she knew."

The angel only smiled at him, as she opened the door for him. "Take a look."

Gibbs would recognize basic training anywhere, even in Israel. The people lined up were all relatively the same age, in matching clothes. The drill sergeant, or whatever he was in this country was yelling at them. He located Ziva easily-as Hadar had expected, her name was called out several times by the drill sergeant, even though she was one of the only people who was keeping up on push ups. Years in the Mossad gym had put her in the best of shape.

"I'm sure you know how this goes." Gibbs turned to Mercy, confused by her statement, but he didn't have a chance to ask. As soon as the words left her mouth, it was like time was moving in fast forward. He saw Ziva and new friends running in the early morning, and shooting in a range, and basically doing everything that he had done in his first few weeks in the marines. Time stopped when he saw Ziva walking into an office, where a man in uniform sat behind a desk.

"You wanted to see me?" Her voice was respectful and demure, and Gibbs realized that a lot of her attitude towards superiors probably resulted from the army. Mossad had let her get away with a sparkier personality.

"You are Ziva David."

"Of course."

"You are a Mossad officer."

"I was."

"Was?"

"I took leave to come here."

"Why?"

"It is my duty."

"That is noble, Officer David, but there is more."

"There is no more that matters here."

"The younger daughter of Director David was killed in a bomb blast that was never investigated by Mossad."

Ziva's head shot up. "How do you know that?"

"Mossad officers are not the only people with connections in Israel."

"Why am I here?"

"I have information you may be interested in, in exchange for services."

"What services?"

"You are too valuable for the common army. You will be used for your skill."

"Why is this request unusual? I assumed I might be used for more than infantry."

"We were requested by Mossad to keep you with the masses. To keep you away from special groups."

Ziva could not hide her surprise. "I had no knowledge of that request."

"You see, Officer David, if you ask me to move to other places, I could. Are you asking me?"

"I am." Her eyes were bright, a familiar light in them as she realized she might be getting a challenging role soon.

"We think that you would be useful to join a force. A prime responsibility is the needed use of the sniper rifle, which according to your files, is nothing new to you."

"You are pulling me to act as a sniper?"

"Among other things. You cannot stay where you are. We would also like to train you to…..investigate. Search for men who commit crimes. You have been used to people telling you a name and you ending their life, but someone has to find the name. Someone needs to know who to kill. You will learn this skill."

"What am I getting in return?"

"You need a reward for a service rendered for your country?"

"Of course not. But it was promised."

"It is no secret that I do not like Mossad tactics. You started young. I have children and I shudder at the acts you committed as a child. I have always had people looking at Mossad, gathering intel on the inhumane things they do."

"What did you discover?"

"There was an explosion in a popular restaurant. A popular restaurant that so happened to have a kitchen crew that was running guns to Anti-Israeli groups for years."

"What are you saying? I never heard of that."

"It was not a Mossad mission. The army was working it. It was handed to Mossad a week before the explosion."

"Why was it handed off?"

"Eli David informed us it was connected to a Mossad case and they received full jurisdiction over it."

"So, Mossad was investigating these people. These people whose civilian cover was in the kitchen of this restaurant. And there was a bomb. Someone in Mossad turned. They took out the whole place. They saw a chance to kill Tali David and betrayed their country."

"Exactly."

"And Mossad is not investigating because of public image."

"It would appear so."

Gibbs could see that Ziva was taking this news hard. "I need names."

"I do not have them. That much is up to you."

Gibbs was nervous. Something was missing. Something else was going on. He was afraid Ziva would suffer from the missing information.

Scenes flew past him in rapid order of Ziva learning how to investigate, but every investigation usually ended with gunfire. Gibbs was not surprised. She had told them at NCIS that she had to learn to gather intel and not just pull a trigger in a place that was controlled by lawyers and a more rigid set of rules. Somehow, he could catch glimpses of Ziva getting closer to what Mossad officer killed Tali. Gibbs knew she would find her. Her entire character demanded that she did.

And she did. Time slowed as he saw Ziva David walk into the office of the same man.

"His name is Eyal Tauro. The Mossad officer assigned to eliminate the kitchen staff. He specialized in high end explosives. He was the expert. My father must have decided that a planned explosive was the best way to kill them all with least evidence. I do not know what made Eyal turn. But I know where he is. And I will ask him before I kill him."

"Be careful what you tell me."

"You heard nothing."

They both stood, and shook hands. "Your year in my service ended yesterday. You did not submit papers to enlist again. What will you do?"

"I have not decided. First, I must avenge my sister. All things will be clearer after the deed is done."

"If you need a home away from Mossad, you could do great service to your country here."

"Thank you."

A light flashed and Ziva was walking through a small town. Children played in front of houses that had seen better days, but each one was clean and had flowers growing in front of it. Ziva looked out of place, but she did not seem to care. Gibbs walked next to her and could spot at least three guns on her. Of course.

He worried for what this act of revenge would do to her soul. He almost hoped she failed.

Ziva entered a home and held up a gun, to the head of a child who looked around eight. She screamed. A woman who had to be her mother screamed. A man ran out of a back room, gun up, obviously trained.

"Put it down, sit down, and put your hands on the table. Or I will shoot your child."

Gibbs was as frozen as the man. This girl was Israeli. But she was the same age as Kelly had been. And Ziva was threatening to kill her. "God no." he whispered. "Anything but that."

The man listened. What other choice did he have? "Who are you?"

"I am Ziva David."

Eyal's name widened with...what? Fear, perhaps.

"English?"

"For the sake of your children."

Eyal nodded. Besides the girl, there was two boys, around six and two. All too young to know enough English to follow a conversation.

"How did you find me?"

"I have my connections."

"Why are you here? I was promised that no one would bother me."

"You were promised?" Ziva's eyes were fire. "Who promised?"

Eyal leaned back. "You have no idea. None at all, do you?"

"I know you were sent to eliminate bad men. And you decided to also eliminate the daughter of the Mossad director."

Eyal shook his head violently. "No. No. You do…"

"She was 16. It was her birthday." Her voice was shaking. "How can you live with yourself?"

"It was a mistake!"

"A what?"

"My bomb...it was not right. I messed up!"

"You were the best."

"You are the best Ziva David, but surely you have made mistakes."

"I do not believe you. I was told that the man Mossad sent to eliminate the men turned and decided to take out Tali David as well. Perhaps for respect in enemy circles."

"Please." His face begged for her to understand. "Amit Hadar recruited me years ago. We are friends, dear friends. I would have died before I hurt anyone he was close to. Your family certainly applied."

"You and Hadar are friends?"

"When it happened, when I was broken, when my actions killed 12 innocent people. I wanted to die. And Hadar got me out of Tel Aviv and got my family safe. He protected me. He told me that he was going to keep everyone away from me."

Ziva's face was white. "Hadar….Hadar hid you? He protected you?" Her voice cracked, and Gibbs's heart broke. The man she trusted most had protected the man who killed her sister.

"Surely you see that I did not mean for anyone innocent to get hurt! My bomb went off too early. The package it was in was still stacked outside the kitchen. If it had been timed correctly no one eating would have been hurt. But it went off early….a mistake, it was all just a mistake."

Ziva slowly lowered the gun. The man relaxed. "Thank you, Ziva David. I will not forget…."

"Be silent."

He listened. She walked closer. "You killed her."

"I told you, a mis.."

"She is still dead!" She yelled the words, and the tension was thick enough to cut in the room.

"Please do not hurt my family for a mistake, please… I know you are very dear to Amit, and he tells me you are wonderful, he tells me you are different, that you have a heart. Please…."

"I will not hurt your family. They did not kill my sister. You did."

"It was…"

"She is still dead." When Ziva lifted the gun and fired two shots, Gibbs literally tried to grab it. He had known that this was it. That she killed him. But watching her execute an honest man in front of his family...it was jarring.

Ziva seemed shocked. She didn't look at the children. She did not look at his wife. She dropped the gun and ran out the door.

I am sorry everyone. I had to do it. Coming up next...how will Hadar react to the news that Ziva killed a friend? That's the spoiler. Hopefully i will write it soon.


	24. Chapter 24

Hello All! Here I am again with your next chapter.

Previously…..Ziva killed the man who had set the bomb that killed Tali-even after she found out that he had been a Mossad asset who had messed up his bomb on accident, blowing up the whole restaurant.

Gibbs waited for the light to flash and take him away from this horrible scene. When it did, the scene he saw was not much better. Amit Hadar and Ziva were facing each other. Both looked like they had not slept in weeks. Both looked angry at the other. And both looked like they were hardly holding themselves together.

"How could you?" When Hadar spoke, his voice was low and hoarse, the sound of a man who had lost so much. "He was my friend. My best friend. How could you just….in front of his children! They will never unsee what you did Ziva! They will never forgive you."

"I do not need their forgiveness. If anything, they need mine for having a monster of a father."

"A monster!" Hadar's voice rose a few octaves. "How can you….it was an accident."

"She is still dead. I stand by my actions."

"Officer David. You have killed a Mossad asset. That is a punishable act."

"How about you!" She suddenly lost all trace of the demure, smug Ziva. "You knew. You watched me cry and mourn and lose myself and you knew the whole time who was responsible You hid him away. You PROTECTED him. He deserved to die for the people he had killed. And….and…."

"He deserved to die for killing people? How about you, Officer David? How many more people have you killed than him?"

"I kill bad people."

"So does he, except for this one time. When he made a mistake."

"So he killed innocent people."

'So have you! How many times have you killed innocent men?"

"Under your orders!' At her last outburst, they both fell silent.

"What happens now, Officer Hadar?"

"Ziva. I….I cared for you. You were like my daughter. Do you realize that? I thought you were different….I thought you had a heart."

"I am different…." She started to argue, and then the angry mask fell over her features again. "I as well cared for you. Until you hid away the man who killed Tali. That is an unforgivable act."

"As well as killing my best friend is."

"Are you going to kill me then?" Laughing, she held her arms out to either side. "Just kill me. Get it over with. I have no reason left to live."

Hadar stared at her, ice in his eyes. His hand reached for his weapon, and Gibbs held his breath as Ziva reached for hers as well. They both let their hand rest on their weapons, staring at each other.

Hadar let go first. Smirking, he turned away. "Goodbye Ziva David." He called over his shoulder. And the light flashed.

Mercy and Gibbs were sitting in a room alone. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I understand why Ziva and Hadar seemed to have resentment for each other when I saw them interact. They never made up?"

"Just wait and see." She smiled at him. "We have to check in on Ziva. She went dancing after the argument."

At her words, Gibbs smiled. Through the time he had been looking at Ziva's life story, the thing he enjoyed most was watching her dance. The light flashed and he was in a studio.

Classical music was playing, but it was angry music, with chords that sounded like there were accidentals that didn't quite go together. She was dancing in a similar way, her movements sharp and violent. She was still good, amazing for that matter, better than any dancing he had seen from her so far. How had he known her so long and never knew she was a good dancer? He wanted to see her do it when she knew he was watching, so he could tell her how much she was worth.

Suddenly, she stopped dancing. The music continued. She was kneeling on the ground. He approached her, trying to see why she stopped. The first time she screamed, he jumped back. She screamed again, and then a third time. After five loud, blood curdling screams she fell silent, her face on the floor of the studio. He had no idea how long she stayed like she did. When she finally stood, she took off her ballet shoes in jerking, panicked movements, like they were burning her. When they were off, she stared at them, a mix of regret, longing, and disgust in her eyes. Than, all traces of panic gone, she walked to the door. She turned off the stereo. She threw the shoes in a garbage can. On her way out, she turned off the light and closed the door, never looking back.

There we go! Short chapter for you. I know Ziva is kind of hard to like right now, but that will hopefully change. She isn't perfect and I believe it is healthy to dislike a character sometimes. Catch the monster of a dad line? That will play into things later (hint)


	25. Chapter 25

Hi! So, I watched NCIS for the first time since Ziva's departure last night. Just a little bit on my thoughts-I would have continued to watch the last few years if they had done Ziva's departure in a better way. If she had died saving one of them, or if she had stayed in touch with them, or anything, but I was very unhappy with how they wrote her out so suddenly and never really mentioned her again. That being said, I was going to freak out if they had Tony die, because I think he deserves better than that. Ziva was always more damaged, she would have been a good hero type of death, but Tony needed something else. And I hope that if Ziva is indeed dead, that they find out that she was always talking about and missing them at NCIS, or that she had been planning to reach out to them, or something. Of course, I would rather her be alive and Tony run off to Israel and they get married. But I fear that's wishful thinking.

Also, I started watching NCIS in the 4th season. I have seen several episodes prior, but not all of the ones involving Ari's storyline. So I have taken creative license. Don't be too angry.

Anyways, back to my story. Previously, Ziva and Hadar fight and end their friendship, and Ziva throws away her ballet slippers.

Gibbs and Mercy were in an alley. "Welcome to Jerusalem."

"Why are we here?" Gibbs was actually thinking that he was glad he wasn't actually there. By the graffiti on the walls, this was a spot where Pakistan radicals liked to frequent. One thing he knew he would miss when he woke up from dreamland was the ability to read all these Middle Eastern languages. "Actually, why would Ziva be here?"

"Wait and see. And you should know that someone tried to kill Eli David. The bullet only nicked him, but it caused a big panic. No one was supposed to know when Eli traveled."

At her words, Ziva walked out of the shadows. She was wearing traditional Arab getup. He guessed this was her way of blending in. She leaned against the wall, waiting for something.

"Ziva!"

The voice was similar-Ari. As he came out of the building closest to them, Gibbs was struck by how different he looked from last time he had seen him with Ziva. He wasn't looking at her with love anymore. That was the difference.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you."

"I am undercover. You can't just show up here."

"That is why I didn't show up at the place you're undercover in. That is why I left you a message to meet me here."

"Are you an idiot?"

"I was worried about you."

"So you jeopardize my mission?"

"Is that really what this is?"

Ari took a step back. "What are you saying Ziva?"

"I am not a child. I am 20 years old, and I have been studying persons of interest for a long time. And you are not acting normally. You have been missing check ins. I saw you with the riot today. You looked like one of them."

"You were at the riot?"

"Just tell me the truth!"

"The truth about what?"

"This is more than an undercover mission is it not? The secrets that someone sold. That was you."

"Stop talking like this."

"You told them where Eli would be. He survived this assassination attempt. Are you going to try again?"

"You really think I am the person who told Hamas when Eli was traveling? Gave details about his personal security? Why would I do that?"

"Because you hate him."

"I do."

Ziva's eyes flashed in anger. "And he is blind when it comes to you. He sent you to figure out who sold him out, and of course you volunteered, because it was you the whole time. Who are you going to frame for the job?"

"You think you have it all figured out. Oh, Ziva, there is much you do not know."

"But it was you." She sounded defeated, and Gibbs knew this was the last thing she had wanted to hear from him."

"He is a monster, Ziva."

"He is your father!"

"Oh, is he? When did he ever act like it? When did he ever do anything for me? Yes, I sold him out. I wanted him dead. And it failed. And no, I am not going to try again. Because I realized that he is not the problem. Mossad is the problem. And if I want to take down Mossad I have to do a lot more than kill Eli David."

"Are you crazy?"

"Leave. Tell them whatever you want. I am not coming back."

"Ari…"

"Leave! Or I will tell them Eli David's daughter is here alone."

"You might as well shoot me right now."

"Leave."

"Please come home. I promise, no one will ever know…"

"I am not the person you used to know. I am letting you walk away, because you are my sister, and you have never given up on me. But I will not make any special favors next time. Leave."

"I love you Ari."

"Go."

Gibbs noticed water in her eyes, and once again he had to witness her heart being broken. "I am not giving up on you. I promise. I will never give up on you."

The light flashed, and Gibbs rubbed his eyes. "Oh my God."

"What is it?"

"She did give up on him. She shot him, three years after this happened."

"Are you understanding her decisions to leave NCIS more?"

"More and more."

"I have something interesting to show you."

They walked out of the room, and found themselves in Eli's office. A familiar redhead was in the room. "Jenny?"

"The one and only. Watch and see."

"Ziva, this is Jenny Shepherd. She is from America. She works for NCIS."

"The Navy place?"

"That's the one. Pleased to meet you Ziva. I have heard a lot about you."

"Why are we meeting?"

"There is an issue that concerns both us and NCIS. You know we have a good relationship with them, and we plan to keep it that way. In fact, there is talk that in the future, we will select a liaison between our parties."

"What is the mission?"

Before Eli explained, the light flashed, and Gibbs found himself watching a series of scenes of Ziva and Jenny working together, including one that slowed down long enough to show Ziva fighting through armed guards to retrieve Jenny, who was handcuffed to a wall.

"Jenny mentioned that Ziva saved her life."

"She did."

"Why does this matter?"

"Because it represents the way that Ziva's character changed. After she learned that Ari was turning against Mossad, she seemed to lose the the last of her caution towards her own life. Even Eli was worried, with the way acted between the ages of 20 and 23. She would do anything they asked her to, and came closer and closer to dying, every time she left Mossad."

"Why was she acting like that?"

"She had stopped talking to her friends, and stopped questioning her father. She had lost so much of her family that she wanted to hang on to Eli, and the only way to do that was to listen and impress him. And she knew that if she died in the line of duty, that she would at least be respected."

"That's horrible."

"Yes, it is. But you came along."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You came along and changed everything."

The light flashed.

"Officer David, you are needed in the director's office." The secretary was about the same age as Ziva, but Gibbs knew her journey with the Mossad was completely different. She led Ziva into the office that Gibbs was starting to get used to being in. Hadar was also in the room, and Ziva and him made eye contact for a moment, before Ziva looked away. However, Hadar kept his eyes on her with a trace of something on his face. Was that regret Gibbs saw? He wasn't sure.

"You needed to speak to me director?"

"Yes." Eli took his glasses off, and sighed heavily. "Ziva, I must be honest. I have long been impressed with your skills, both in and out of the field. You have been a handler for several years now, and the way you have handled officers who are older than you are has been noticed by many more people than me. They have spoken highly of you, and say that it is a shame that we cannot have two of you, one for the field, and one for here."

"That is praise I do not deserve."

"When you told me Ari wanted to take down Mossad, I laughed. I thought he was going through a phase. And then he stopped looking at Mossad, and started working for the very people he was supposed to kill...well I knew the only officer who had a chance at handling him was you."

"Director…"

"So, why, Officer David, has Ari still not come in from this ridiculous thing he is doing, and why is he bothering NCIS?"

"Jenny was talking to me about that and…"

"He broke into their DC office and shot people. Does that sound like an officer that is under our control? Do you know how bad that makes Mossad look?"

"Can we not tell them that Ari is a rogue officer and ask for their assistance to bring him in? Say that we will help if they promise to take him alive and give him to us?"

"I have my own friends at NCIS. Agent Vance is in another office, just like your Agent Shepherd, but he still has connections to the people in DC. He spoke of one of the men Ari shot, an Agent Gibbs."

"But Ari did not kill him."

"No, he did not, but he shot him, and now this Agent Gibbs wants to bring him in. What do you propose we do about that?"

"Try and find him first. If you are sure NCIS does not want our help in the matter."

"Perhaps I will eventually send you. But for now, we must try our own hand first. Do better with your officer Ziva."

"Of course."

The light flashed. Gibbs was left pondering what he had heard. "That was the first time she heard my name."

"It was."

"Do you think it would have been different? If Eli had sent her to us when Kate was still alive?"

"I think what happened happened and there is no use thinking about what could have happened."

"So what? They can't find him and then they hear how far he went with us?"

"Well, watch and see."

"Officer David. They need to see you. Now."

Ziva nodded, and took a deep breath, dread written on her face. Gibbs followed her, and paused when he saw a desk calendar. Kate had been killed. He didn't want to think about this right now. He was still to blame for her death. He also blamed Mossad. They had refused to call him the rogue he was, and NCIS had paid. One person he did not blame was Ziva. She could have done nothing by herself, when she was in this situation. And she did try and make it right, eventually.

Now, there was no one in the office but Eli. Gibbs felt as much dread as Ziva looked like she was feeling. This had to be the moment that Eli ordered her to kill her brother.

"You have heard what has happened."

"Ari has killed an American agent."

"Yes. For no reason it seems, than to make them angry."

"He could not get to you or us, so he went after easier targets."

"You think the Americans are easier targets?" There was a hint of amusement in his eyes, but Ziva did not joke. "Well, you have protection all the time, and coming after you would incite a lot of mess. He has some kind of loyalty to me, so he will not hurt me, and there is no other person who he can kill to punish you. So he went after NCIS, who have also made him angry apparently, because they are unprotected and smaller pieces in their agency than you are in ours."

"You think that is why he did it?"

"I really do not know. I thought I knew him. I tried to get in touch with him so many times, but he has not looked at me with love since...since Tali died."

Eli cocked his head to the side, confused. "He was always closer to you than to her."

"He assumed I would quit after she died. Because I was doing the job to protect her from having to do it. But when I said Mossad was the only life I knew, he was upset with me."

"He has no reason to be. You made the right choice."

"What are we going to do?"

"It is fitting that I send someone to work with them. You can go."

"To America?" Despite the circumstances, her eyes lit up. "You are allowing me?"

"Do not tell them he is your half brother. It would be harmful for all of us."

"Of course. I will go and make sure they do not kill him, and you will work to ensure diplomatic immunity and we will bring him back to Israel and decide what to do from there."

"And then what, Ziva?"

"What do you mean?"

"You think he is going to apologize and stop trying to sabotage us?"

"What are you proposing? To imprison him here?"

"No. Ari is much less dangerous dead."

Ziva froze. Gibbs saw a flurry of emotions on her face, which all turned to anger. At Eli.

"He is your son!"

Eli looked annoyed, rather than anything. "Ziva…."

"He is your son. You have lost Tali. How can you order your daughter to kill your son?"

"Ziva…"

"Ari is my brother, and I love him. And he deserves better."

"Ziva…."

"You are a monster!"

"Officer David! You are out of line."

Ziva fell silent, though her expression was stormy.

"You will go to America. And you will meet these people at the DC office of NCIS. And you will help them find Ari, act like you are there to protect him or to bring him in. And than you will make sure he is killed before he tells them anything about his recent activities."

"Why?"

"It would be dangerous for any of that to be released."

"No. There is more."

"I have talked to Agent Vance. He told me what kind of a man Agent Gibbs is. He tells me that he will not rest until Ari is dead."

"And this one agent's wishes matter over the life of your son?"

"The relations between Mossad and NCIS are frayed over recent events. Agent Shepherd thinks you would be the perfect candidate for a liaison position between the two agencies, but she tells me that this Agent Gibbs is a difficult man to work with. If you kill Ari for him, you will gain his trust."

"Why me?"

"For your whole life, you have been important to Mossad because of what you do. For this one time, your last name has everything to do with it."

"You think if Eli David's daughter is trusted by NCIS, they will by association trust you?"

"It is the best chance have."

"That is a cruel way to twist their minds."

"It is business. You have no loyalty to them. You have loyalty to Israel and Mossad, and your fellow loyal Mossad officers. This is just another mission Ziva. Go and gain their trust, and eventually you can come home."

"What if Ari is killed by someone else?"

"It is your job to make sure you do it."

"I do not know if I can."

"Do not be weak Officer David. You leave in an hour."

Ziva walked out of the office, her face blank. Gibbs followed, hating what he was seeing. She had been ordered. He knew that. But he also discovered along the way that she had not been following orders when she pulled the trigger. That gave him hope.

Ziva ducked outside, and was met by a very distraught woman that he recognized as Deena, the doctor that had loved Ari, and knew Ziva.

"Ziva!"

"Deena! What are you doing here?"

"Is it true?"

"Deena….."

"People are saying that Ari went rogue. But that cannot be true. He was going to quit Mossad and go back to just being a doctor, and we were going to be together…."

"Deena, Ari has done questionable things."

"You believe them?"

"What?"

"Obviously your father is making it up, because he was mad when Ari said he wanted to quit."

"He did not make these things up."

Deena stepped back, a horrified expression on her face. "They say you are being sent to America to help them find him."

"That is correct."

"Why you?"

"Well, I was his handler."

"They have people to work with other agencies. They have diplomats to send to America. So why are they sending you?"

"Deena.."

"You are an assassin. They're sending you to kill...kill him?" Her voice squeaked.

"Deena, listen to me. It does not matter why they may be sending me. But this is Ari. I am not going to kill him. I would never kill him. And I will not let anyone else kill him either."

There we go! Creative License. Hope you enjoyed. I will hope to update soon. The semester is over, so I have some free time.


	26. Chapter 26

Here I am again! To clear up on the last chapter I did not mean to say Pakistan- I meant Palestine. I am sorry for that silly mistake. Anyways, we have come to a new stage in the story, meaning that we are into the actual show now. So, in keeping the story to make sense, the only things we will be seeing will be times when Gibbs was not around. I will try and keep it in line with the show, but again, no promises.

One more thing….I had planned to end this as the show did in season 11, with no real "happy" ending. We are all hoping for a better ending for Tony and Ziva than we had in season 11, but I will probably not create my own ending unless I am extremely unhappy with how the show does it next week.

Previously...Ziva is sent to America with orders to kill Ari, but she believes she has other plans. She has promised Deena, the woman who loves Ari, that she will keep him safe.

Gibbs looked at Mercy, unsure of what was going to happen next. "I know what happened. She came, none of us liked her, and she ended up liking us and killed Ari. What do I need to see?"

"Fast forward past you meeting her and of her insisting Ari was innocent. You understand now, that Eli David wanted her to side with you from the beginning and her defending him was because she became convinced it wasn't him. You're going to see her a couple of hours before she saves your life.

Ziva was looking a little ragged as she dialed a number on her phone. No one answered, and she waited for voicemail to pick up, looking anxious. When it did, she spoke in Hebrew.

"Ari, you cannot ignore me now. I know the truth now. You killed the NCIS agent, and did all the other things Eli said about you. And why you did I do not know. I hardly know these people, but they are good people, nothing like the people you are truly angry at. You killed their friend, and for what reason? She was a dedicated agent, who has never harmed you, and you killed her. You have become what you always hated. And I am trying to protect you, but you have to help. And they are not going to stop, no matter what, and I do not know if I can save you. But I love you. I love you so much, and I wish you would let me help you."

Ziva hung up, and Gibbs hated the way she looked. He hated all of this. If there was something he could take from Ziva's pile of baggage, it would be what she did later that night. If he had been the one to pull the trigger, and had seen that she was willing to, he would have still learned to trust her and she wouldn't have to live with the blame she felt for years after.

Mercy showed up next to him, and he suddenly wished for her kind words. "When she came back from Somalia I accused her of deceiving me all those years about what happened. But she truly did it on the spur of the moment. Why?"

"She admired you. Remember what Ari told you before she killed him? He said that you reminded him of Eli, and that was why he hated you. Ziva agreed with him. And she looked up to you for the qualities you shared with him, but she saw something else that made her respect you more than she ever respected Eli David. She liked you, and Tony, and she saw how close you all were, and she realized what losing Kate had done to you, and she was angry at Ari for doing it. But no, she had no intention of killing him, until it was the only way to save your life."

What now?"

At his words, a rush of scenes passed before him. He saw her mourning her brother, and Eli telling her that she had done well and that Jenny wanted her at NCIS. He saw her struggle with not being accepted by him or his team, and felt guilty for things he had never even known bothered her. He saw flashes of her and Tony, and of secret smiles and flirtations that he had noticed but never really thought about in those early years. And he saw her being forced back to Israel after Jenny died.

Mercy slowed him down as he saw her in a club, in a dress that looked wonderful on her, on a stage. "Is she performing?"

When she opened her mouth, he realized she was. She was good too. Yet another thing he had never known about her. She was suddenly interrupted by an explosion, and he saw her thrown across the room. Of course. This was when he had caught a glimpse of her on ZNN.

"And we got her back. For a while at least."

"You were lucky too." Gibbs looked confused at her words, and sure enough, he was shown. He was in Eli's office, where he was starting to realize was where all the secrets were told, and Eli and Hadar were talking alone.

"She went back to America."

"Yes."

"You do not sound happy about it."

"She has become loyal to them, as much as she is to us."

"Is that a problem?"

"I fear it may be in the future."

"Do you miss her?"

"Miss her? Why, do you?"

Hadar looked unsure. "We have not talked in some time."

"She did kill your friend."

"Yes, I know. That was a long time ago."

"You want to make amends?"

"She is not interested I fear."

"She is not interested in a lot anymore. She is no longer a child. She is 26 and seems like she would rather forget we exist then come back here."

"Why do you think that is? What do the Americans offer her?"

"Americans are softer than we are. She is probably enjoying the special treatment they must give her."

"What are you going to do?"

"Find a way to make her come back. To turn away from them, to remember who she belongs to."

"Eli, what are you suggesting?"

"She has not seen her friend Michael Rivkin in some time."

Short chapter because you guys are awesome. I am going to read up to refresh exactly what went on with Rivkin before I start writing a new chapter, I don't want to be too inaccurate. It should not be too long. And i am excited to get into Rivkin. I want to write a good bit about the side of Somalia Gibbs did not see, and of what happened after to her, and touch a lot about Eli's death, and what happened when she went to Israel and started second guessing her life. I am close to the end, and thanks for staying loyal.


	27. Chapter 27

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Ok. So that's how I feel after watching Tony's last episode. I need to talk about it. I need to...I need to do something. Ok. So. Ziva is dead. And that really really upsets me. But Tali? I can't believe Tony and Ziva slept together. I honestly didn't expect that. At all. And in terms of ways that he can leave the show, I think they did a pretty good job. But I wish wish wish that Cote de Pablo could have came back so they didn't have to kill her off. I was planning to end this story when Ziva left in season 11, but maybe I'll epilogue it. All things considering. I have so many questions. Like, who is going to help Tony and Tali communicate with a language barrier? And will he raise her Jewish? Is DiNozzo even her last name? And also new British dude is cool, and FBI lady is stupid, might give the show a chance with Clayton and guest appearances by Tony and Tali.

Ok moving on.

Previously….Gibbs is reaching the end of Ziva's journey. He saw her during her return to Israel in Season 6, and saw Eli David decide that Michael Rivkin would be a good way to pull her apart from NCIS.

"What am I seeing now?"

"So, Ziva is getting ready to go back to the United States. And Eli made sure she would see Michael Rivkin before she left."

Gibbs watched Ziva walk through Mossad, getting ready to leave. He saw Michael before she did, because he was looking for him, and he heard him cry her name. She froze, turned, and saw him, her face unreadable. "Michael?"

"They said I would find you here."

"They?"

"I asked your father where you were. I was looking forward to seeing you after the mission ended, but you disappeared.

"I am going back to America."

"Already?"

"Coming here was just a temporary thing. I do not belong here anymore."

"The Americans got you good did they?"

Ziva stepped back, a look of annoyance on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. We worked together on the mission, indirectly, and it made me wonder how you have been lately.

"Michael, we have not talked since we were teenagers."

"And that does not bother you at all? After the tragedy you pulled away from me, from all of your friends."

Ziva bristled. "The tragedy? You mean when my sister was blown up by a Mossad officer? I apologize that I changed after that happened."

"Ziva, I did not mean to upset you. Truely. I….I just miss how close we used to be."

Gibbs paced, watching the exchange. "Get on the plane." he murmured. "Just get on the plane."

Of course she didn't. She caved. "My flight does not leave for several hours. Do you want to go somewhere?"

He watched them. And it hurt. He watched them laugh and converse in English and Hebrew. She told him about her job at NCIS, and they laughed about American agents, as Ziva mocked them in a friendly way. She mentioned Tony several times by name, and Michael leaned in, like he was going to tell a secret. "Who is Tony?"

"Just someone I work with."

"That is all?"

"Of course."

Was Gibbs imaging it, or did Michael's mood brighten at her words?

"I need to go. My flight…."

"Of course. And Ziva? Can I keep talking to you...when you go back?"

"Are you not working?"

"Yes. Some things with Malachi."

"Malachi? You are on his Kidon unit?"

"He picked me first. You could stay. And work with both of us. Malachi misses you too. Hadar actually suggested you could stay and work with us."

"Hadar suggested it?" She looked on edge again, obviously not yet trusting Hadar.

"I told him that you would want to go back to your Americans. You would not have stayed there so long if you did not like being there."

"You are right."

"I will write down by number. Please call me. You do not need to try and forget all of us. And who knows? Maybe I will have a reason to be in Washington D.C. soon."

"So, she called him?"

"Of course she did Jethro. He was a friend at some point."

"There's more to it than that. You know what she was thinking. Tell me."

"She grew to care about America. She liked it there and wanted to stay. But she missed Israel too. She liked having someone who understood her childhood and someone who could speak her first language with her. Having Michael as someone to talk to outside of your team was something she thought she wanted."

"She always felt a little like an outsider here didn't she? With us?"

He didn't want to see Mercy confirm his fear, but she did indeed nodd. "It wasn't that hard for Michael to start to isolate her from you."

"Was he ever interested in her? Or was he just following the order to get close to her?"

"What do you think Jethro?"

"I think he approached her to follow orders but he couldn't have helped but fall for her."

"I think you need to see more."

The light flashed and Ziva was speeding down a street, on a phone, yelling to get Michael out of DC. She was walking into her apartment and seeing that Tony killed Michael. She was mourning Michael. They were going back to Italy, and he recalled how she had cringed when Hadar greeted her. That was when he first saw him, and had assumed they had some history, but he could have never imagined how much. He saw Hadar and Ziva fight, her accusing him of not getting Michael out, and saw the picture he gave her, of Ari and Tali, and he got it.

He was showing her that she had betrayed her family, by becoming attached to America, and he knew that her getting that message was probably part of what made her feel like she should stay in Israel.

"Please don't show me leaving her here."

Mercy laid a hand on his shoulder. "Do not blame yourself for that."

"For what? For leaving her standing on a runway? For being a big part of the reason she was held in Somalia? I could have made her come back with us. But I didn't. And I'll always hold that blame."

"We need to see Somalia."

"No."

"We have to."

The light flashed, and Ziva was standing in a room with her father, Malachi, and two men he did not know.

"Welcome to the Kidon Unit."

"I am honored to be here."

"Did Officer Ben-Gidon brief you on the Somalia incident?"

"Yes. We are chasing Saleem Ulman."

"He must be killed."

"Yes."

"This is a crucial job. No matter what happens, you cannot fail. There is no help for you, there is no more officers I trust to complete the job. Only the four of you. Malachi will lead you well, and when you have finished, you will have done great service to your country."

"Saleem has an entire compound of men. Surely we would have a better chance of getting out of there with more officers."

Eli fixed Ziva with a judgemental stare. "Your time in America has made you weak. Never before would you have questioned such a mission."

"Maybe my time in America has made me look at our missions in a different way, a smarter way."

"This is the only way. And Saleem has to die. Nothing else matters here."

A light flashed, and the team was buying passage onto the Damocles, and they were settling in. And Malachi was talking to Ziva.

"Have you ever seen a snake shed it's skin and try to crawl back in?" Ziva indeed looked out of place with her fellow Mossad, for the first time.

"You don't need your own skin. It is who you are inside."

And Gibbs could have shot him in that moment, for suggesting the Mossad killer side of her was what she truly was, and Ziva certainly looked like she believed him.

"The Americans left you Ziva. Your family never has."

Gibbs sat down on the bunk bed, waiting for the scene to end. Mercy was sitting next to him. "Do not take what Malachi said to heart."

"But we did leave her. I left her standing on the runway. I can never take that back."

"There is more to this story."

He saw Daniel, the disgraced marine, and he understood why Ziva had trusted him. There was something about him that did not fit in with everyone else on board. And her thoughts were validated when they saw each other necklaces.

"You don't want to give yourself away. Lose the jewelry."

Of course. They hadn't told the crew that they were Mossad. That was why they were not using Hebrew. They didn't want anyone warning Saleem that four armed Mossad officers were going their way. And her Star of David necklace did make it kind of obvious.

"I would sooner die than take this necklace off." She reached for his neck, and pulled out his dog tags. "You ought to know."

It was interesting for Gibbs to see what Ziva had described when she had been questioned. He saw the crew get restless, and saw them take them out. And it made his heart ache. It was such a Mossad like thing to do, to take out a crew that really were not bad people, and she looked as if she had found her old skin. She did not hesitate. Until she got to Daniel. And Malachi shot him, just like they had determined at NCIS. He watched them get the boat to shore, and saw Malachi called Eli David.

"What did my father say?"

"That the mission should continue. To follow the courier to Saleem and kill him."

"Did you tell him Avi is dead and you two are wounded?"

"He thinks this is the best chance we have."

"Then we have nothing! Who was Shatlev calling?"

"It doesn't matter! No one could know we were coming."

"And no one does. I will go, alone." She looked resigned to her fate, and Gibbs wanted to look away, but he couldn't.

Malachi started to protest, and Ziva shook her head. "Look, we cannot disobey a direct order."

"Ziva, it is suicide!"

"It is what it is." She had started to get upset, but calmed down after she spoke the words. "Goodbye." And Gibbs and Malachi watched her walk away, to a certain death.

"Malachi didn't want her to go."

"Didn't she tell you that, when she was going over what happened?"

"She did, but I thought for sure that she was covering for him, at least a little. But he actually seemed to care that she was going in alone. That was why she told him in interrogation that he could not disobey her father, not a second time. Because it scared him that he was willing to disobey him this time around."

"Why do you think she was going in alone?"

"She had reverted back to her Mossad mindset on the ship, and she had this twisted idea that she had no chance of redemption, so she was going into this mission with a desire to die in the process."

"We will watch more."

He watched her do exactly what she had told him. She forced the courier to take her to Saleem's camp, and then killed him, and fought her way inside. And he was impressed. It hurt him to think like that, but he was truly impressed with how many people she got through, before she was finally overpowered directly before killing Saleem. He watched her close her eyes, waiting to be killed, no fear on her face, but he did not kill her. And that was when the hell started.

He wanted it to end. He saw her beaten, over and over, and not make a sound. He saw Saleem do the worst act of them all, when he pushed her head back, and ripped off her precious necklace, throwing it to the side. That seemed worst to him than the beatings. She had lost her one connection to her family and her home.

He saw Saleem question her, again and again, and use truth drugs on her, but she did not break. She had, he remembered, been trained by the Mossad in how to withstand torture. And she was doing a pretty good job. She did say she was also former NCIS, and talked about all of them, although she used no names and gave up no real information.

'Are these agents going to come looking for you?"

Ziva laughed. "No, they hate me now. All of them. For good reason. I am a monster. And they are good people."

"I thought you said they loved you."

"They might have used to. And I loved them. I love them, still. Our leader is like a father to me, and of the two boys, well one is wonderful and kind and I would die for him, and the other is even more, because he is the only man I have ever truly loved, but that is in the past now."

"Like a father to you? You said you had a father, a real one."

"I do. And he is like me. Ruthless. A monster."

"Do you love him?"

Ziva laughed again. "I do. That is the worst part of it."

"Will the Mossad come and get you?"

For a third time, she laughed. "The director does not care to come and get me. I failed to kill you. He does not rescue failures."

"You almost got to me, alone. I am impressed, Ziva. Why would he want to sacrifice a good officer?"

"I am not a good officer. I failed."

"He is not sending anyone for you?"

"Not a single person. And besides, he probably assumes I am dead anyways. I am nothing of worth to him anymore."

Gibbs wasn't sure if her words, which she obviously believed, or what Saleem was doing to her was worse to experience. At that point, it was the words. Until it wasn't.

Saleem stormed into her cell, ripping the bag off her head again. "You lied to me!"

"Oh, did I?" She appeared completely unconcerned.

"You did not tell me that your father is Eli David."

"You did not ask."

He hit her so hard that her neck snapped back, and Gibbs cringed for her. "You do not think I needed to know that the director of Mossad is your father, Ziva DAVID."

"Everything I said was true. He is a monster and he is not coming for me."

"His daughter is missing and he would not come for you?"

"I have been here a month. Obviously he is not coming."

Saleem stepped back, a strange look on his face. "You will be punished for your lie."

"Go ahead."

When he raped her, Gibbs did look away. He looked at Mercy instead. "Please don't make me hear this."

"She was here two more months. And it only got worse."

"How could it get worse?"

"Saleem has many men. And many had turns with her."

Gibbs clenched his fists. "They died too easily. All of them."

"You cannot change the past. And you saw her medical file, did you not?"

"Seeing it is a different story."

"Ok. I think you understand what happened to her enough to move on."

"Yes, please." Gibbs was picturing what he had been doing in the three months she was being raped and tortured. He had been trying not to think about her, and moving on with his life.

The light flashed and Ducky was cleaning wounds on her back that were still open and raw. He was asking about her feet, and she was telling him that Saleem had crushed them so it was too painful for her to escape. Gibbs remembered how they had supported her weight, getting onto the plane, and how she had started walking herself later, and he wished he could go back and just carry her. It was pretty obvious that she didn't weigh very much at this point. Ducky was talking to her about the rapes, and telling her that she was not pregnant, and she nodded, not surprised, and said they used protection to prevent that.

The light flashed again, and he was in a room that he recognized as the navy facility that she had stayed in after she got back. She was tossing and turning, and crying, and all the lights were still turned on, like she could not stand to be in darkness anymore. She had so many blankets, all wrapped around her, and still shivered. Of course. She had been in a desert for three months. She was not used to anything under 100 degrees.

He saw flashes of her, night after night, not sleeping and coming to work anyways, never telling them any of it. One night she flew out of bed, a gun in hand that was under her pillow, and pointed it not at the wall, but at her head. Gibbs held his breath as the weapon he somehow knew was loaded quivered at her head, but eventually fell to the ground. And she was crying.

"When was this?"

"After the case with the marine whose husband was beating her and ended up dead. When you told Ducky you didn't want to open up old wounds."

"They were never closed. I'm starting to see that now."

Ziva reached for her phone, and pulled up contacts, scrolling down until she got to his name. She paused, her finger hovering over the call button, but after a few seconds she threw it down.

"She never told any of us this was happening."

"She did not."

"If I had known…."

"What would you have done?"

"I don't know. Something."

"Bu what?"

"Well if she had called me that night? I would have gotten there as fast as I could. Taken her gun away. And make her talk about it, if not to me than to someone else. And given her time away from work."

"Here's something else."

The light flashed. Gibbs found himself watching Eli and Ziva fight outside of the car where Vance and Hadar were already sitting inside. So he was going to see what impact her father being there had really done to her.

Eli looked annoyed. "If you want to talk Ziva, I will talk. I am not going to beg."

"And why not? It seems a man.."

"A lesser man!"

"A human man!" She yelled these words. "Would want to."

Eli talked about his responsibilities, and ended with 'I cannot allow my feelings to dictate my actions."

"You do not have any feelings." And her eyes were dead.

"I have no feelings? There was a time, Ziva, when my house was filled with the sounds of children laughing. You. And Ari. And Tali. There was a time Ziva. Yes, there was a time."

Ziva did not answer, and Eli got into the car. Hadar fixed his gaze on her. "His heart is hidden for a reason."

"That didn't sound like a Hadar wanting to make amends. I guess they never did."

"You would be surprised."

Gibbs was confused, and Mercy smiled. "The car ride."

Gibbs found himself in the car with them, but he did not know how, seeing that the seats were full. It was like for the first time, his body was not with him.

"Hadar, can you close the door? Leon and I have to talk." Hadar nodded at Eli's words, and the barrier between the front of the car and the back closed, leaving Hadar and Ziva alone.

"I misspoke Ziva. I am sorry."

"I am not interested in your apologies."

Hadar fell quiet for a moment, then laughed softly. Ziva turned to him sharply. "You are amused by this?"

"No. no. I was laughing because I always assumed you would outgrow the way you drove. But here you are, and you are only more aggressive."

A hint of a smile crossed her face. "It scares the Americans."

"You are separating yourself from them. You are American too."

"I will never be one of them. Their lives were very different than mine."

"I wish you would have had a life like theirs."

"It is what it is."

"That is what you told Malachi. When you went to kill Saleem alone."

"I had to. It was an order."

"It was an order a lot of people were unhappy with."

"Saleem eventually died. If I had not gone in, the Americans would not have came and killed him."

"We thought you were dead too. At first. Malachi was beside himself, and your father did not speak to anyone, and I….."

"And you what?"

"I regretted not telling you that I had stopped blaming you. For killing my friend. I was wrong to hold that from you."

"And I was wrong to kill him. For a mistake. He had paid enough."

"You were a child."

"I have never really been a child. You know that better than anyone."

"I do. And it is something that bothers me."

"You did not think I was dead the whole time however. When Saleem had me."

"We got word of a female captive. Malachi and I went to your father with ideas for extraction and he would not do it. He said that you had been warned and he could not risk the lives of others. He wanted to bomb the whole facility. That was his idea."

"Why did he not?"

"Something was holding him back. He could not give the order. He does love you Ziva. You know that, I hope."

"They tortured me. They raped me. And he did not care. He sent Malachi to burn me, to force me back to him….."

"He had your interests at heart. He wanted to make sure you were ok, and he wanted to make amends, but you were in America and he knew you would not come back to us unless you had to."

"It was still wrong of him."

"I agree. But your father loves you. And so do I. We have had many years wasted."

"I am sorry. I should have said that years ago. But I was different back then. I was a killer. I think I am finally learning to let go of that part of me."

"You made me proud Ziva. You turned away from that life. You are here, living your own life and doing what you want to do. And you are a good person."

Gibbs understood a lot. "Her feelings towards her father softened after he and Vance were taken, and Hadar was killed. Was it because of what he told her here?"

"Yes. And she and Hadar did find peace, before it was too late."

"When he was killed I did not think about it. We had other priorities. But if I had known how close he and Ziva had been for a lot of her life, I think I would have given him a little more thought. I feel bad about that."

"He was a good man."

"But Eli wasn't."

"Ziva thought so. Even when she hated him, she still could not stop loving him."

"Am I almost done?"

"Almost."

OK everyone! One more chapter, and then probably an epilogue after what happened in Tony's last episode. Thank you everyone for supporting this story, and I will have the last official chapter up within the next 24 hours. I think you will like it.


	28. Chapter 28

Here we go! The last real chapter has arrived, slightly later than I promised but I think you will all like it. And stay tuned roughly another 24 hours for my added epilogue. I see that I began this story on May 27, 2015, so I am pretty excited that I will finish up within a year. Thank you to everyone who has been patient with this story and supported me.

Previously…. Gibbs saw Somalia and Hadar and Ziva making peace before he died.

Gibbs took a deep breath as he found himself in the NCIS gym. He was close to the end now, and he knew he would be sorting through his thoughts concerning what he was seeing for a long time. For now though, he had to finish watching.

"When is it?"

"Eli David is dead. Her and Tony already went to Berlin."

"If that just happened why is Ziva in the gym? She was banged up in that wreck."

"Well, it's Ziva, remember that."

At her words, Gibbs walked around a corner and saw Ziva going after the punching bag, wincing at every punch. She doubled over suddenly in pain, and Gibbs got angry. "What is she doing? What good was this doing for anyone, trying to hurt herself?"

"Maybe she's punishing herself."

Things were moving along rather quickly. Gibbs was watching Ziva sneak away after they found the location of Ilan Bodnar. Following her to her car and to the ship, he found himself remembering that night. He had been terrified when he, Tony, and McGee had discovered that she had left without them. He had driven faster than usual, and he didn't think he took a breath until he saw Ziva's head pop up above the ship after Ilan's body fell.

She could have shot him. That was news to him. She had had a gun in her hand, and had decided to tackle him instead. He understood, after watching her entire life story, but it didn't mean he wasn't angry at how restless she had been.

"She came full circle. She fought Bodnar back when she was a little girl, and here she is, fighting him again. Back then she was doing it to make Eli proud, and now she's doing it to avenge his death. And this time she wins."

He wrapped the chain around Ziva's neck and she got out of it, leveling him and punching him over and over. He glanced over the side of the ship and saw the car containing him, McGee, and Tony pull up. He looked back to Ziva and Bodnar, genuinely curious at what happened. He had never asked her if she had meant to push him over to his death.

Ilan wrapped a leg around and kicked her, hard. It was enough to give Ilan a fighting chance of overpowering Ziva. They both whirled to a standing position, and Ziva backed away from him, towards the side that Ilan's body fell from.

"You could never beat me Ziva David."

"I'm done fooling around." Ziva yanked another pistol from her boot, and pointed it at him. "On your knees."

Ilan smiled. "I was never cut out for prison."

It happened fast. Bodnar charged her, but Ziva didn't discharge the weapon. Instead, she jumped to the side, and threw her full weight into him, sending him over the side of the ship.

"So she did do it on purpose."

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not really. But she may have let him live. If he had gotten on his knees when she told him to."

"I thought after this that she was ready to move on. When everything with Parsons was going on, she blew up at us, called us her family. She was still emotional about her dad at the time, but the fact that she thought of us that way made me think she was going to be ok. So what changed?"

The light flashed, and Gibbs was in a hot, sunny place that he had come to recognize as Israel. He was here, ready to see the final nail in the coffin. Here to see what made her walk away from the people she had called family so soon before.

"Where is Ziva?" He turned around, looking for his angel, but he didn't see her. He was on his own. He didn't have to look far. The only thing close to him was an apartment building, and scanning the names came up with one that he recognized. _Bashan_. As in Deena Bashan, the woman who had loved Ari, the person Ziva had made a promise to protect Ari to.

He wasn't surprised. Of all the things Ziva had done in her lifetime, the things that had haunted her the most was killing the man who accidently killed Tali, and killing her brother. Of all the things to make her melt down, seeing Deena was a probable cause.

Gibbs climbed three flights, and found the apartment. Standing outside the door was Ziva. She knocked hesitantly, and the door opened.

Deena looked a lot older than the last time Gibbs had seen her. She looked tired, but her her face came to life when she saw Ziva. In a bad way.

"Ziva David."

"Deena…."

"No. You don't get to speak. Not to me. Not after all these years."

"Deena…"

"What did you think? That you would show up here and we would hug and I would forgive and forget? That it would suddenly become alright that you killed him?"

"I never wanted it to end that way."

"You promised!" Ziva's eyes dropped, unable to look at Deena anymore. She was ready to take the blame. She wasn't going to argue with the distraught woman.

"You looked me in the eye and told me you would make sure nothing happened to him. And I hear that he was killed, and I was...I was a mess, and I tried to call you, to ask what happened, and you wouldn't answer, and I didn't know what to think. And if someone else had killed him and you had just failed to protect him, I would have gotten over it. You are only human. But time went on and….and…."

"Deena…"

"Shut up! Just stop! You killed him. The rumors flew around Tel Aviv. People talked about you, and wondered what had happened, because the one thing Ziva David had been for her entire life was loyal. And dedicated to her family. So tell me. Why did you do it? Did Eli David tell you to do it? Was his orders worth more than your brother's life?"

"Ari hurt people in America Deena. He killed an agent who had not hurt him. He was terrorizing good people…"

"Do not use that word."

"He was in bed with terrorists! What other word am i supposed to use?"

Deena slapped Ziva, hard, but Ziva did not react. "My father wanted me to kill him, but I had another plan. I meant it when I made a promise to you, because I thought he was falsely accused, but I got there and learned that he was not the man I knew. He was not the man you loved. And I was still trying to save him from the Americans and their wrath, but it came down to Ari pointing a gun at a good man, and I had to. And I have lived with the guilt every day."

"You are a monster."

"I am not a monster!"

"You picked someone you hardly knew over your brother! You could have let him kill the American, and got him out of the country! You could have saved him!"

"He was not the man you loved."

"That was not a decision for you to make. Why are you here, Ziva? Why are you in this country, if America is your home?"

"This is my home."

"This country does not want you. Not after the things you have done."

"I did it all for Israel! My childhood….well I did not have one. Israel took that. I owe nothing to this place. It owes everything to me."

"You are cold, empty. Have you ever felt love, real love? Or do you just sleep around with whoever someone tells you to?" Deena laughed. "What is that face for? The monster does love someone, I guess. An American? Of course."

"They are better people than anyone in this country."

"Than why are you here? Go back there, where you seem to think they love you."

"I am sorry, Deena."

"Do not try and apologize. I do not care. I never want to see you again, Ziva David. Unless it is your funeral day."

The door slammed, and Ziva whirled around, running away, and Gibbs ran after her. She didn't slow down, through the streets. He was glad he was in a dream, or he would have had to stop the chase long before they got to Mossad. He was wondering how she planned to get in, but apparently being Ziva David was still enough. They did not question her at the gate.

"Ziva!"

It was Malachi, and he scanned worried eyes over her figure. "Where did you come from?"

"Deena Bashan's apartment."

"She lives on the other side…."

"I need to see them."

"See who?"

"Not who! The files. My files."

"Why in the world…."

"They kept track did they not? Of my missions?"

"That information is classified, and you are not…"

"Please." She looked like she was on the verge of tears, and Malachi glanced around. "Come. Quickly." They moved through crowds of officers, all who shot glances at Ziva and whispered about her.

They were paper. Somehow, Gibbs was not surprised. These missions dated back a long time, before computer records were a thing. "Ziva, what are you looking for?"

She didn't answer, and kept digging through boxes, pulling out file after file, with pictures of people. "How many boxes do I have?"

"Ziva…"

"How many boxes?" Malachi was spared answering when the next file she pulled out was a picture of Ari, and she stared at it, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall.

"Ziva, you are scaring me. Why are you even in Israel…"

"How many boxes Malachi?"

Malachi slowly pointed, and she followed his hand to an entire shelving unit, of box after box.

"How many? How many people did I kill?"

"It does not matter."

"I am 31 years old. And I want to know how many people I have killed. But you do not know. It is more than these files tell me."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"I need to go." She threw down the file she was holding and ran out, Gibbs following, along with Malachi, but he couldn't catch her. She ran out of the building, and into the parking garage, scanning faces until she saw one she seemed to know.

"Ziva David? What are you doing here?"

"Daniel! I need to borrow your car. Please."

"Well sure, I am here until tonight, just be careful with….." he trailed off, as Ziva was already starting the engine, Gibbs jumping into the passenger seat. Where she was going was a mystery, but soon she peeled out of the garage and drove out of the city.

The house she drove to was familiar as something he had seen earlier in the journey, a farmhouse that the David family had sometimes been in. She jumped out of the car almost before she had put it in park, and ran to the back door, kicking it down without a second thought.

Gibbs was honestly confused of what she was doing, but he followed her to a closet and watched as she tore through boxes upon boxes of childhood toys and papers, until she pulled what she seemed to be looking for out of a folder.

It was a page of "I Will" statements. "I will be a ballerina, ride a horse, live in a castle, visit Iceland and America, have a boy and a girl." Ziva and Gibbs stared at the list together, and Ziva threw it down, grabbing a marker from the same box, scribbling the whole page out and writing across it, "Stop this for him".

Gibbs was confused. Who was him? And what was she looking for now? She was back in the boxes, and pulled out a pair of ballet slippers. He thought she had gotten rid of them, but he guessed she probably had owned more than one pair. She ran back out of the house, towards the barn that was on the back of the property, where he had seen her dance many times. Inside, she put the slippers on, and started to dance, her movements getting more and more natural as she went.

"I am sorry. I am sorry." She was whispering in Hebrew, and she stopped dancing, holding the Star of David that had replaced her old necklace. "I am sorry. I do not… I do not remember their names. I do not remember any of their names. I do not know their faces….I do not know how many lives I have taken…."

"Oh Ziver."

"You look sad, Jethro."

Gibbs jumped as his angel appeared behind him. "Look at her. She's a mess. She needs a hug."

"Don't worry. She calms down. Remember, it took Tony a while to find her. Gave her time to get her thoughts together."

"She isn't ok. She probably isn't good right now."

"No, well she hasn't been ok for most of her life. Look at her I will list. She saw America. Never Iceland. She hasn't danced in years, she doesn't really ride horses in her free time, has no castle, and she doesn't have kids. She really didn't want this life. It just kind of happened."

"Ziva!"

They all turned to see an old man walk into the barn. "Schmiel?"

"Malachi called me. He guessed you would go here."

"I am fine."

"You are not fine."

"I cannot remember. I cannot remember any of them. And I said I would, I promised God I would…"

"Ziva…"

"I am a monster. I have killed more people than Gibbs, Tim, and Tony combined. I killed my brother…."

"What do you want Ziva?"

"I want it to end. All of it. I want it all to end."

"You do not mean that."

"I want to die. I want to die."

"Too many people love you."

"Would they still love me if they knew everything I have done? They do not know me, not really."

"What do you want?"

"I need to… I need to figure it out. Figure out who I would be if I had never been a Mossad officer. Or an NCIS agent."

"You are more than a badge."

"I am afraid that I am not."

"Go back to your family Ziva."

"They all are dead! I am the only one."

"Your living family. Your American family."

"I cannot. Not now. Not until I decide…"

"Decide what?"

"At NCIS I do not have to kill like I did at Mossad. But sometimes we do. And I do not want to kill any more people. Even bad people. I am done deciding if someone deserves to live or not."

"So go back and do something else."

"They need me to get away from them. Jackie Vance was killed because of my family. They all suffered because of me. How long before I hurt them again? I will stay here. Alone. Where I cannot hurt anyone else."

"They will come looking for you."

"They will not find me. And they will give up."

"Tony will not. Neither will your Agent Gibbs."

"I do not deserve them."

"You are a good person Ziva. Now come inside. And calm down. We can talk about this."

Gibbs started to follow them, but Mercy stopped him. "You have seen enough."

"What now?

"You need to see what is going on right now."

The light flashed and they were in an airport, and Ziva and Tony were standing close. "What is going on?"

"Well, Tony found Ziva, and now they are saying goodbye."

"This is happening right now?"

"As we speak."

Tony was talking. "You going to call Gibbs?"

"I do not know."

"You gotta call the guy."

"I don't know if I can."

"Does Tony understand?" Gibbs's heart ached for both of his agents in this moment. "Did he see all of this?"

"He did not have to. What she told him was enough. He gets it."

"Tony, you are so…"

"Handsome. Funny."

"Loved." They were kissing, and Ziva was walking away, and Gibbs was back in his basement.

"What now?"

"I would be waiting for Ziva to call you."

"Is she going to?"

"Have I lied to you yet?"

"What do I say?"

"I think you can come up with something. Considering what you just saw."

"Thank you. For all of this."

"It's my job. Take care of Tony. He is going to need it."

She disappeared, and Gibbs grabbed his phone, waiting. And it rang.

"Ziver?"

She was crying on the other end. "Ziver, it's ok. I promise, it's ok."

"I am sorry Gibbs For what I am doing to all of you."

"Don't worry about us. You have to get to your own good place."

"I have done terrible things."

"I know. We all have."

"Not like me."

"Not many people were raised like you."

"I killed so many people….without a second thought. All their blood, it is all on my hands, and the stains will never come off."

"You saved many people as well."

"But the people I saved do not haunt me in my dreams."

"Ziver, we all love you here. Despite anything and everything."

"If you really knew me, you would not love me."

"I know that you were trained to kill, and did so, and even killed your brother, but that you always wanted to make all that right. And that deep down you were just a girl who never had a childhood, lost her entire family, and just wanted to be a ballerina."

"I love him Gibbs. And I let him get on the plane."

"If you ever decide to come back, he'll be waiting. None of us blame you. You were always a little of a mystery to us, and you remain that way. But there are people here who would do anything for you. Even if they saw everything you had ever done in your life."

"I do not deserve any of that."

"That's right. You deserve more."

She didn't answer, and she was still crying. "Don't cry Ziver. I am proud of you. And I love you. And if you ever need me, I will get on a plane and be there as soon as I can. And I know everyone else would do the same."

"I cannot come back. I need to distance myself. If I hang on halfway it will only make it worse for everyone."

"That;s up to you."

"I need to find the childhood I never had. Alone. And maybe someday I will be deserving of the love you gave me all these years."

"You always deserved it. I promise."

"Thank you. For everything."

"Thank you. For fixing us after Kate died, and for saving our lives so many times. And for that night in my basement. When you saved me."

"I love you." At her words, Gibbs knew he was tearing up, for the woman who was like a daughter to him, and he was telling her it was ok to walk away, and there was a chance he would never talk to her again. But he had to do this for her.

"I love you too." He could hardly get the words out, but she needed to know he meant them.

"Goodbye Gibbs." Gibbs rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the tears. This was it. The last time he would ever be able to talk to her, most likely. And he knew what she needed. She deserved to hear his goodbye in her birth language.

"Shalom Ziver." And the call ended.

There we are! I hope you liked it. Epilogue within a few days. Please tell me what you all thought, because before the season 13 finale this was all the farther I planned to go.


	29. Chapter 29

As promised, here is an epilogue to my story that skips ahead to the recent season 13 finale.

Previously...Gibbs accepts that Ziva needs to figure things out and makes peace.

Ok. So I am starting this as Gibbs was in the end of the episode, in his basement, before Tony comes. I am writing this for a few reasons. I am writing it for Ziva's sake, and for the sake of Tony and Ziva as a couple, and also because Gibbs was totally chill with Tony leaving and I think this needed to be done. Please tell me what you think, I love hearing from you.

Gibbs was angry. Really angry. At everyone. Kort. Mossad. Ziva. Everyone. It wasn't fair. Ziva was supposed to be in Israel, alone and figuring out her life, but now she was dead. After his experience watching her life, he guessed he shouldn't be surprised, that death would come early for someone like her, but it still wasn't right. And getting killed in your sleep by a bomb was cruel.

If someone was to survive, however, he was glad it was Tali. Ziva could not lose her daughter named after her beloved dead sister. She had lost too much already. If Tali had died, Ziva would be dead inside. It was better that she was the one to die, but it would have been better if both of them could live.. He was still mad about that. And sad. Really sad. He had been staying strong for Tony, who was taking it badly. Obviously. Gibbs knew more than anyone what losing someone you loved was like. He was also mad about Tony, who he knew was going to leave the team. He understood why, but he didn't like it.

"Jethro usually I do not have to visit the same place twice."

He sighed, not turning around. "You're back."

"I am." Mercy, the angel who had guided him several years before, was in his basement once again.

"Ziva is not dead Jethro."

Despite all his will power, Gibbs felt hope. "You're lying."

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. If she is alive why did Mossad…."

Mercy held up a hand. "It is better if I show you."

Gibbs was taken to Israel, to the same farmhouse that he had seen Ziva have a meltdown at. It was intact, so he walked inside.

He saw that she had redecorated, and that evidence of Tali was everywhere, with toys and pictures all over the place. He found Ziva's room, where she slept peacefully. In a side hallway, he found Tali's room.

He heard the cats fighting only a moment before Ziva did. She flew out of bed, holding a gun, and relaxed once she identified the sound. Rolling her eyes, she got out of bed and slowly padded outside, following the sound of the cats, yelling at them in Hebrew.

The bomb hit the house without warning. Ziva was thrown down, hard, and knocked out. A minute later, she woke up, and ran back inside the house, calling for Tali in terrified screams. He followed her. She got to the corridor that Tali had been sleeping in, and started trying to clear rubble that was on fire and over the entrance. She finally ran through it, seemingly not impacted by the flames.

Tali's room had not been hit. It was actually amazing. She pulled the crying girl from her bed and opened the window, gently setting her down outside.

Tali was crying, and yelling about wanting something, and Ziva looked back in the room, and started speaking to her daugher in Hebrew. "I will get all of it, ok? But you have to start running for me, to your treehouse, can you do that?"

The girl nodded, and Ziva threw clothes, a stuffed dog, and a picture of her and Tony in the bag, with other things, and tossed it out the window. The flames outside Tali's room had been getting closer and closer, and before she could leave, another boom sounded, and everything was collapsing on Ziva.

The light flashed and Ziva was sleeping in a hospital bed. Malachi was sitting next to her. She was waking up, slowly, and it didn't surprise Gibbs when she immediately looked at Malachi and said "Where is Tali?"

"Safe. We have her. She is untouched, You on the other hand…."

"Where is she?"

Malachi sighed. "America."

Gibbs thought Ziva was going to scream. "What?"

"With Tony."

"What day is it?"

"Wednesday."

"Why am I just waking up?"

"You were in a coma actually, They had no idea when…."

"Why is my daugher in America?"

"They think that you are dead. All of them."

Now, Ziva looked like she was going to kill him. "I am not dead,"

"Ziva, listen. The man who bombed you, NCIS caught him. But there will be more. You have too many enemies. You asked me to keep your family safe, and this is the only way I know how. By making everyone think Ziva David is dead."

"But some people know right? Tony and Gibbs?"

"No."

"Well tell them!"

"Do you want me to?"

"I do."

"I was going to tell Tony. He told Orli that he is taking Tali here. He has decided to quit NCIS."

Ziva was at a loss for words. "So when will you tell him?"

"When he arrives."

"And Gibbs?"

"I could call him."

"Yes, please. Soon."

"But what about everyone else? Only Orli and I know. And it was not easy. You are kind of in bad shape Ziva. You scared me." At his words, Gibbs realized something. Malachi was in love with her. And he was still trying to get her and Tony together in Israel with their child.

"I trust them. At NCIS. They can know. No one else."

The light flashed, and Gibbs was back in his basement. 'She's alive."

"That is what i told you."

"She's hurt...I need to go over there."

"You can't. It would ruin the point. She'll make a full recovery. I promise."

"Why hasn't he called me?"

"Well, soon Tony will be arriving to tell you that he is leaving. And after that Malachi will call. He will tell you to wait a week or so to let everything die down and then to take your team and Abby and Ducky and Vance and Jimmy onto the elevator or something and tell them. You can tell Ellie and even your new team member, Clayton. He's trustworthy. Your other new candidate decides she wants to stay with the FBI."

"He's right. Malachi. She has a lot of people targeting her. It scares me."

"So you understand why Malachi did this for her and her family."

"What are the chances it all works out? That Ziva and Tony and Tali remain happy and safe?"

Mercy smiled. "What if I told you it did work? That Tony gets to Israel and helps Ziva get through weeks of physical therapy and healing, and that Tali calls him Abba and they are truly a family?"

"For now, or for always?"

"They get married. They go on their honeymoon all over the world, but they stop in Iceland."

"Her "I Will" list."

"That's right. And in the house they create, Tony makes sure she has a ballet studio to teach her daughter."

"And do I ever get to see them?"

"Pretty often. They visit DC a lot. And going back to her I Will list, she doesn't quite cross off the last thing on it."

"Yeah, have a boy and a girl, she only has Tali."

"Well, in a few years they have another daughter, and they name her Kelly."

Gibbs was honestly floored. "They name her that? For me?"

"They knew it was the best way to honor you. To let her live through their child."

He didn't speak, thinking about Tony and Ziva and how much he cared about them as people, as his kids. "And they're happy?"

"I promise they are. And they live a long and happy life. You won't have to bury either of them. I know that's your fear."

Gibbs couldn't speak, still trying to process everything he had heard. "You said Tony was coming? How can I keep this from him?"

"He will know soon enough. And Malachi will not call you until after he leaves, so Tony will not know you knew before he did."

There was a noise upstairs, and the angel smiled. "There he is."

They talked, and Gibbs hugged him, and whispered "take care of your family." It probably confused him, thinking that Tali was just one person, so why say family, but Tony didn't question it. He watched his friend, son, protege, whatever you wanted to call him, walk out with the weight of losing Ziva on. His shoulders. He wished he could see his face when he realized it was a trick.

His agents were off on their own, to a life they deserved. He would miss Tony, but he couldn't wish him to stay. He had more important things to worry about now.

And a few time zones away, Tony looked at Malachi confused, wondering why he was taking him here, to this house. And Tali was squirming out of his arms and yelling "Ima!"

And there was Ziva, sitting up in bed, smiling at him. And he was running towards her, just like Tali, and he knew everything was going to be ok from now on."

All done! On the anniversary of the day I started it. Thank you for all of the support and i hope I did the show justice just a little. And I'm sorry if my ending is too happy, but I had to give them all a happy ending. I love the characters too much.


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